How do i overcome the fear of a birth center delivery?

missdaisie04 · May 2011

i want to have my next baby naturally and at a birth center but it scares me and my family keeps saying that if something goes wrong i would have to go to a hospital. they are not very supportive. plus i am scared of the pain. What can i do to overcome this and make my 2nd delivery that way i want it??

KateLouise · May 2011

I'm not going to tell you to overcome your fear or how to do it, because I think the most important thing to a natural birth is that you feel comfortable in your surrounding.

I suppose the thing to think through is what will the birth centre offer that you feel a hospital birth will not? Then consider the importance of those things to you.

I was fearful of a birth centre birth because of the "what ifs" and it wasn't just fearfulness of something terrible happening, but the fact that I didn't want to have to be transferred at the last minute to a hospital whilst in full on labour.

For that reason I birthed in a hospital. I had a wonderful natural birth and I put a lot of that down to feeling relaxed in the hospital environment (but I'm one of those odd people who love hospitals) Will you feel more relaxed in a hospital? Or will you feel stressed in a hospital?

I'm in NZ and our hospitals are very pro natural birth. I know some hospitals in America will really fight you on anything "natural"

In terms of the pain, I found it very manageable with showers and the tub. There are lots of strategies for managing the pain. Did you find birth particularly awful the first time?

Lotzodotz · May 2011

I have no advice on how to overcome your fears. I find for me that the more information I have the better I feel. I heard this antidote about fear, What do you do if you are surrounded by a bunch of hungry tigers? Stop pretending! You can try to imagine every scenario that would really be bad and all it's going to do is give you more anxiety. Besides, most of the things we fear never come to pass. I am also afraid of the pain, so I am trying to prepare the best I can and I also realize that the pain will not kill me, many women get through it.

As far as family, I am not telling anyone my plan of having a natural birth. It's none of their business! Plus, everyone has an opinion about labor and it's usually horrible. I just keep it to myself. I asked my brother to help me order Hypnobabies off ebay and he said to me, "that's stupid, one labor pain and you will be begging for an epidural". Thanks BROTHER, I guess since you have a uterus and a vagina you know all about it. I only talk to people who have had a natural birth. I mentioned it to my best friend and she rolled her eyes at me. I am planning a natural birth at a hospital, so it's easy not to even mention the natural part. Everyone assumes I will be getting an epidural like I did the first time. I would tell people they have pain management at a birthing center, you just don't have to mention that they are drug free options.

Good luck

MawrtyrB · May 2011

Go with what feels most comfortable for you. DH is a medic and he was too scared to let me use a birth center. So I compromised and found a real natural friendly hospital. They had built a new regional hospital nearby so tthey turned the old hospital into basically a birth center in a hospital. It only has 5 rooms, set up like a bedroom. They can even do water births. Very natural friendly. And I can use a midwife there. It was absolutely wonderful. It's a further drive for us but well worth it.

Talk to the staff about your concerns, some have agreements with a local hospital so they are supportive of transfers.

nosoup4u · May 2011

Midwives are trained to know what normal labor looks like - if your labor isn't progressing normally, they'll see it, and chances are you'll have plenty of time to go to the hospital. Is the birth center close to a hospital anyway? And you have a better-than-average chance of having another straightforward vaginal birth if you've already had one (assuming you didn't have a high-risk pg or any labor complications with your DD).

Your family may be thinking they are helping, but frankly, only you and your DH have the right to decide where you want to give birth. It's just not their business, and either ignore them or tell them that.

Have you talked to the midwives who run the birth center? Like a PP said, that's a good place to start, and you can ask them about pain management. Some options are: laboring in water, Bradley, Lamaze or Hypnobirthing/Hypnobabies techniques, focused relaxation or breathing techniques. I did prenatal yoga during my first pregnancy, and it really helped me to focus on relaxing during labor. I also used the tub, which was quite delightful (there's a post down below about women's experiences in the tub for more opinions on it).

The book "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" might be a good read also, as it has a ton of birth stories in it. And "Birthing From Within" is really cheesy/hippie, but has good info about labor and how to prepare for it. There are also certified instructors who teach the methods from the book that you might want to look into.

Good luck! Labor is really hard work, but doable! hth

Mrs.Greeko · May 2011

I guess it depends on how your first birth went.

My first was born in a hospital and even though I showed up at 9cm dilated I had to fight every stupid little thing and still ended up with an IV, pushing on my back, third degree tear, etc.

So when I left the hospital after having DD1 I knew I would never deliver anyother baby in a hospital barring any actual medical reason that necessitated it. So when I found out about a birth center that opened a couple of months after DD1's birth I was thrilled. It was the perfect solution since DH was less than keen on the idea of a home birth. I had way more fear about delivering in a hospital and having to fight about every little thing and having a 30+% chance of being cut open. With the birth center I had no fear because I knew they would let my labor and birth progress normally and would allow me to listen to my body, but I also knew that if something went wrong they would transfer me. But, most babies are born easily and healthy as long as they aren't subjected to all the interventions common to a hospital. It's those interventions that are actually making it more difficult for women to deliver babies and making women more inclined to want to be in a hospital because they've heard too many stories about women who's babies almost died in birth or whatever. What they forget is that those women were generally laying on their back for labor with a variety of tubes and medicines and what have you connected to them. And that is what the issue was, not the actual act of giving birth. Not sure if that gets my point across, but hoepfully at least you get the idea of what I mean.

eli_and_jeff · May 2011

Exploring all your options may make you feel more comfortable. Taking a tour of some hospitals or a few birth centers (if there's more than one) in your area may help you realize that you made the right choice and be comfortable with it or help you find another alternative that you may be more comfortable with.

We're using a natural birth friendly hospital and doctor. The hospital offers water therapy and the rooms are set up like a bedroom, just like a birth center, only in a hospital.

Try to separate your fear of labor pain (I'm getting that big time lately, too) and your nerves about the birth center. One might be influencing the other.

missdaisie04 · May 2011

Thanks ladies I appreciate your input!

ncbelle · May 2011

I felt very comfortable delivering at the birth center for several reasons. Primarily, I trusted that the midwives were experts on birth and could handle pretty much anything that came up. They also have a very strict transfer policy - the moment it looks like something might go wrong (including if your pregnancy develops complications), you transfer. That makes good sense to me and I completely trusted their judgment.

Eleanor actually did have shoulder dystocia - a situation that can "go wrong" but one that my midwife handled with amazing professionalism - I never felt that I or my baby were ever in danger. Eleanor was transferred after birth for minor breathing issues - not an emergency but more of a precaution. That sucked in that I wanted my baby to be well and to be able to go home right away as planned. But again the situation was well handled and I don't think it would have been at all different had she been born in the hospital. If you want to read the details of our experience, my birth story is here: https://www.becomingmamas.com/introducing-eleanor-a-birth-story/

That said, you have to do what feels comfortable to you - my first was a "natural" hospital birth and I had few complaints.

ac5008 · May 2011

missdaisie04:
i want to have my next baby naturally and at a birth center but it scares me and my family keeps saying that if something goes wrong i would have to go to a hospital. they are not very supportive. plus i am scared of the pain. What can i do to overcome this and make my 2nd delivery that way i want it??

Im glad you asked this! Im experiencing some of the same things, mostly because everyone you talk to has some sort of horror story about birth. I want to have our baby outside of the hospital, and Im hoping that as I do more research and talk to more people I will remind myself that birth centers have been found to be just as safe or safer than hospitals!

greenmtbride · May 2011

As soon as I visited our birth center most of my fears went away. They were so reassuring and confident in the process...and explained the hospital transfer process to me. If you haven't toured the birth center yet, I'd suggest doing that.

Also, read anything that you can by Ina May Gaskin...or read "Pushed"...that will scare you AWAY from the hospital.

I had such an amazing, peaceful experience at a birth center. Don't let other people influence you...do your own research so you can be at peace with your decision. Good luck!

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