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Baby Names
kathymarie
member
Naming question--how to handle this situation?
kathymarie
member
in Baby Names
Background:
DH has a family tradition going back hundreds of years that the first born son is named after the paternal grandfather. DH was named after his GF, FIL was named after his GF, and so on. We are expecting our first child, a son, and DH is adamant about continuing this tradition. That would mean we'd name our son Steven.
I want to name my son Michael, after my father who raised me alone. I also really hate the name Steven, nothing to do with my FIL, who I love, just hate the name.
This has caused a WAR in our house for the past 7 months. DH and I have come to what could be a compromise: name the baby Steven Michael, but call him Michael.
I know, I know, you're not a fan of naming the baby something and calling him something else, but in this situation, it might be the best solution. Naming him an alternate name and scrapping Michael or Steven is not on the table.
His lunch box would say Michael, and everyone would call him that, but his birth cert, license, report card, etc. would say Steven Michael.
Here are my questions: How would you phrase the birth announcements? Steven "Michael" Lastname? Something else? Is there something about this name arrangement that I am not thinking of that I should be?
Married 7/19/09
MC 9/8/10
Baby Boy Born 7/31/11
MC 9/8/10
Baby Boy Born 7/31/11
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Naming question--how to handle this situation?
I mean no offense, and correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you already post about this?
ETA: I just saw your questions... sorry! I would just phrase the birth announcement as it looks on his birth certificate. Good luck!
if you're going with the aforementioned compromise of naming him steven, but calling him michael, then you should write his name:
steven michael "michael" or
steven michael "michael" last name.
that said, i would never name my child something that i hate.
This looks great!
This.
DD#1 is 3! And LO#2 is on his/her way! Due Feb 26th, 2014.
BFP#1: EDD 5/7/2010 born on 5/20/2010. A little girl named Emily.
BFP#2: m/c 10/29/2012 EDD was 6/21/2012 Baby Hope was 6 weeks 3 days.
BFP#3: Twin B stopped growing at 8 weeks and 5 days. Found on 8/10/2014. EDD was 2/26/2014. Twin A is still doing great and due date is 2/26/14.
I don't think I posted the whole situation on this board, I did on PgAL though. On this board, I just asked for opinions of the name Steven. I don't see another post in my post archive about this on this board. If I'm wrong, sorry!
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/52026613.aspx
And yep, this was just about the added questions, so I included the background to give people an idea of why I was thinking of naming my son something that I didn't want to.
There's a bigger audience here, so I figured I'd get more widespread feedback.
MC 9/8/10
Baby Boy Born 7/31/11
Definitely a great idea. Thank you!
MC 9/8/10
Baby Boy Born 7/31/11
I think that's a decent compromise. If it works, it works! I personally love the name Steven (I prefer Stephen, though). Steven Michael is a great name.
As for birth announcement, just write his full birth name, "Steven Michael Lastname". Most people just put the name that was on the birth certificate on the announcement. Don't overthink this one. People will think the "going by the middle name" thing is bizarre at first, but they will adjust!
Married since 06/19/2004|Anna born 11/19/2006|Charles born 11/1/11
Double undergrad graduation May 2011| Me: Psychology, DH: Communication| A long journey!
<a href="http://s21.photobucket.com/albums/b268/gussiebutt/?action=view
This is how I would phrase the birth announcement.
Something to consider if you haven't already, it can be a bit of a bother for the child. My BIL has one legal name, and is called a different completely legitimate name, and he encounters problems sometimes with cashing checks, etc. I don't think it's a deal-breaker, but I just wanted to warn you that my BIL does complain about it quite a bit.
I think the announcent should be in the name you intend to call him.
You can certainly make his birth cert in Steven Michael and have everythign else in Michael Steven. When you sign up for a peditrician and register him for school, you can use Michael as a first name and then when he goes to get his license he should be able to get it in the name of Michael.
I deal with identity documents all the time and you'd be surprised just how many people use a name other than that which is listed on their birth certificate. It's really not a huge deal as long as they can show consistant useage.
As parents, you just need to make sure you are consistant with the usage. The problems would come if you boucne back and forth between using both names as a first name.
Alternatively, you could use S. Michael on all records as he grows up so he doesn't completely lose the "Steven" but it is obvious that he goes by Michael.
Thanks for all the input, ladies! I do appreciate it.
I was just browsing on tinyprints.com and found this, which would totally suit our purpose:
The white cursive on top would say Michael, and the full name (Steven Michael Lastname) would be below. I think this gets the message across, right?
MC 9/8/10
Baby Boy Born 7/31/11
I think Steven "Michael" Lastname might be a good way to put it. Or maybe "Michael has arrived" (or something like that) and then someway else on the announcement put:
Steven Michael Blah
born: 01-01-01
weight:
length:
etc.
My brother in law has a name like this and so does my cousin. It's not confusing at all to those who know. My cousin was named after his uncle, but goes by his middle name and my BIL, I have no idea why they named him one thing but call him something else.
Morgan's Birth Story: http://www.fullcirclemidwifery.com/2009/06/morgans-birth/
Chloe's Birth Story: http://www.fullcirclemidwifery.com/2012/04/chloes-birth/
I think Steven Michael is a fine compromise. I really like both names.
I think I'd leave the birth announcements at Steven Michael Last name because putting Michael in quotes makes it look like it's just a random name he goes by, and not his middle name.
I love when people use their middle name and go by S. Michael Lastname or whatever. The guys I know that do this have never complained about it.
OP, I like the announcement you posted. I also may consider just putting Steven Michael Last name and letting it be. For us, the people who would get the announcement would know sooner or later that he goes by Michael and I don't think it would be so bad if any gifts he received had his "real" name of Steven on them.
Go Phils!!
Ditto... or you could do a big michael in faded letters across it... like a lot of announcements have.
I REALLY like this. Minimizes confusion and sounds positive instead of negative (quotes around a name always look strange to me, and could potentially carry a negative vibe, especially given the already heated battle going on over your LO's name).
sorry, i don't understand why you would name your child steven if you hate it. even if you plan to always call him michael, his first name will always be steven.
do you think that after you do all the hard work of pushing out the baby that your dh might cave on the name thing?
I think both of these would work!
Eh, I get it. DH's family has a tradition of using the MN Lee for firstborn sons. I hate the name Lee, but we gave our son the MN Lee because I respect their family tradition. The first name came from my family and Lee has grown on me with time - I don't love it, but it doesn't irk me like it did when I first heard it.
I love the suggestion of 'Welcome Baby Michael!' Perfect. Congrats, btw!
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
Hello! Before I go on, I think we were on the NJ knot together
Congrats...we're expecting our boy in less than 3 weeks.
I've seen birth announcements that work nicely in situations where a nickname or alternate/middle name will be used regularly.
On the front, the name the baby will use ( "Michael" or "Welcome, Baby Michael!" IS very cute
) then inside or on the opposite side, the formal/legal name: Steven Michael Lastname in your case.
I definitely understand having non-negotiable family names you want to use!
"5.01.09"
Hi! I remember you! Congrats on your baby boy. I hope everything goes well.
Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I appreciate it!
MC 9/8/10
Baby Boy Born 7/31/11