Stolen from TTCAL--Did you change your name?

Junebug060609 · May 2011

Interesting ideas brought up. I never thought about the stereotypes when it was my turn to decide.

https://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112736/name-change-dilemma-women-marriage-wsj?mod=family-love_money

kathymarie · May 2011

Interesting article.

I did not change my name, and as of now, I have no plans to.

Junebug060609 · May 2011

To answer my own question: I did.

I never debated taking my DHs lastname, it was important to me that our family all have the same lastname and him changing to mine would've been a PITA with his work. My debate was what to do with my middle name. Did I want to keep the mn I was given or use my maiden name as my mn?

I ended up switching my mn to my maiden name and dropping my previous mn. At the time I had to make the decision I was having a difficult time suddenly not being a "mylastname" anymore. Lots of changes in a short period of time, plus I was 33 when we got hitched and had been in my career a decade. In hindsight now I'd have been fine either way, but it was definitely something I gave a lot of thought to back then.

nykkybaby · May 2011

I did not change my name either. Im the last in the line of my family's name and I just wasnt ready to give it up yet. Also Im an artist, and it just made sense to keep my name as I was starting to get a following. I thought I would eventually change it, and use my maiden name as a middle name for a son if I ever have one. But I don't think that is going to happen in the near future. (the name change, not the son because who knows! Big Smile

)

MrsAtch · May 2011

Yup, changed mine. Kept my original middle name too. I have two younger brothers to carry on the family name and I felt it was a step I could take to show my husband that I was committed to him. It was not that hard to change with my career and I've never regretted it.

itsmevkb · May 2011

I added my husbands last name to my own but professionally I still basically use my maiden name.

I love the comments on that article by all the bitter and angry men. What a bunch of dopes.

martinimomma · May 2011

I did not change my name. I was 35 when we got married, and I could not wrap my mind, personally or professionally, around changing my name and not being "SandyD" any more. DH was fine with that, and we agreed together that if we had a family I'd re-evaluate as it would likely be easier for the whole "family" to have the same name.

Note, at the time, and for a variety of reasons, we did not know if we'd have kids.

And now...if we are lucky enough to bring this LO home, I don't know what I'm going to do. I have not raised it with DH, as the more I think about it and the more I look at what would have to be done...I just don't want to change it. I have no problem being known as "Mrs K" but am concerned that at almost 40 and 5 years after being married, the horse is out of the barn and it would be more confusing to change it.

Eris-Alexis · May 2011

Originally, I hyphenated our last names, but we had a falling out with DH's dad (long complicated story) and decided that we no longer wanted to be associated with him in any way. DH's mom had already changed her name when she and FIL got divorced, so there was no reason to keep it. We ended up making up our own last name. DH is Swedish and their tradition is to take the Dad's name and add son at the end, so we did that with my Dad's name. The new last name also sounds like it could be from my ethnic heritage, so it really works for both of us. And now, our child(ren) will be named after my Dad, at least partially.

olivia_eve · May 2011

I did change mine, but there were factors that made it easier. I was younger, and not as far along in my career. I also started a brand new job only a few months after getting married, so I kept the maiden name at my old job and then switched to my married name when I started the new job.

However, I also dropped my middle name and made my maiden name my new middle name, so I did keep it in a way.

dondraandluis · May 2011

I changed mine. I always knew that I would if/when I got married. I have a brother and nephew to carry the family name.

anonomity · May 2011

I changed my last name to DH's and just dropped my maiden name. It was important to me to have the same last name as DH (and our future children), and I was ready to drop my maiden name due to being teased a lot because of it as a child, so it was an easy decision for me.

mundayem · May 2011

I changed mine. I have no one in my family to carry on teh family name but it meant more to DH for me to change it then it meant to me to keep my name. I was 29 when I got married and at first thought I would keep my last name but now I'm really glad I did change it, even though no one can pronouce it lol.

Oatoa · May 2011

I have not changed my name but will soon. DH asked that I change it for our 2 yr anniversary. I don't have an issue with changing my name to his I've just been super lazy about it. I was going to do it anyway now that we're expecting kids.

Clerk9 · May 2011

It was important for me to change my name to DH's because I felt that was part of me making a commitment to him & a new family with him. (My personal view! Not a judgment of others!)

Having said that, we got married at a time when it was much easier for me--I was in grad school & not a professional yet. If I'd already been out in the workforce with a clientele, that would've made it trickier. One doctor I knew made the transition gradually by first hyphenating her maiden & married names before switching over to just her married name. But she did it over the course of a year or so.

DCWJes · May 2011

I changed mine. My name sounded a little redundant (my mn is Lee and my last name ended in "ley"). Nobody could spell my old last name right so now nobody can spell my married name either! lol. I kept my middle name though, its a family middle name so I wouldn't feel right changing it. I have a brother and cousin so they will pass on the family name.

shoefreak85 · May 2011

Yes, I changed my name. I guess I am just traditional like that. I kept my maiden name as my middle name though.

BritanyV · May 2011

I changed my last name and kept my MN. I also had just turned 22 and was not in a career field that it would make a difference to change my name. I'm pretty traditional but I suppose if I had been older or in a career that it would be awkward to change my name than I might not have.

EricaK28 · May 2011

I took DH last name I always knew I wanted our kids to have our last name. It was not a big deal with the type of job I have to switch my last name. I have a brother and he can carry on the family name.

quezzo · May 2011

anonomity:
I changed my last name to DH's and just dropped my maiden name. It was important to me to have the same last name as DH (and our future children), and I was ready to drop my maiden name due to being teased a lot because of it as a child, so it was an easy decision for me.

This is me too. My old last name was Italian and while it was great, I had some not so nice nicknames in HS. I also have a younger brother to carry it on and was 29 when I got married, which FYI they left out a whole age bracket when they did the comparison between people get married early verses after 35. I'm also very traditional about some things and I find myself becoming more traditional as I get older.

ellebelle2384 · May 2011

Junebug060609:
I never debated taking my DHs lastname, it was important to me that our family all have the same lastname and him changing to mine would've been a PITA with his work. My debate was what to do with my middle name. Did I want to keep the mn I was given or use my maiden name as my mn?
I ended up switching my mn to my maiden name and dropping my previous mn.

This is what I did exactly. I married into a Greek family and it was very important to the family that I take the name. My mom actually kept her maiden name and I saw the inconveniences it could cause so I wasn't ever dead set on keeping my name anyway.

mommy411 · May 2011

I changed mine in "real life" and kept maiden in my professional life

jillcanada · May 2011

I would have kept my last name if DH wasn't so adamant about taking his family name. He doesn't voice strong opinions on much, so it was something I felt I could do for him. In Quebec, where I'm originally from, you have to pay to have your last name changed after marrying. Not many women do.

Fififa21 · May 2011

I changed mine. Sometimes I use my maiden name and then his last name but I?ve pretty much dropped my middle name except on official documents. To me it?s really important that everyone in our family have the same last name and I have a brother to carry on my maiden name.

JoAnna914 · May 2011

I kept my name for all of the professional reasons discussed, but that's only part of the story. Really, I fundamentally abhor any tradition that places solely upon the woman the responsibility of making such a public demonstration of her commitment, and I wholesale reject it. My husband did not object in the least (part of the reason I love him). I am actually struggling with the fact that my children will be automatically taking my husband's name (the one thing upon which he has insisted). The only way we've been able to reconcile it is this: he gets to choose the last name . . . therefore, I get to choose the first and middle names.

ColleenS629 · May 2011

I changed my name. I wanted to have the same last name as our children.

julesjb · May 2011

I changed mine. My maiden name was really great and DH even considered taking it but I think he would have been teased for the rest of his life. His last name is from his estranged father so there is actually no one else in his extended family with our name but we will start our own line!! I did change my name the week after I graduated from vet school and prior to starting work so that made it a but easier but I probably would have done it regardless!

SheLovesMrHip · May 2011

I changed mine within 3 weeks of our wedding. I had to.....since I filed for a new SS card I had to change it at work and with my credentials too. Although I love my maiden and it was hard to give up.....

Michele&Chris · May 2011

I had legally dropped my ex-husband's name (an error on our divorce docs made it a year-long process) while my DH and I were dating. He saw how much time, effort, energy and money it cost to change back to my maiden name so he never even pushed me to take his name when we got married. There were also professional reasons why I didn't change it a THIRD time. Just too much.

madiegirl83 · May 2011

I considered not changing mine, because my son has my maiden name. I eventually decided to drop my middle name, and make my maiden name my middle name and then take DH's last name. Now I still have the same name as my son and I will also have the same name as DH and I's future children.

PrincessDi80 · May 2011

I hyphenated my last name, so now it is very long and annoying at times but it was important to me not to lose my maiden name. My Dad is Hispanic and his parents came to NY from Puerto Rico when my dad was 5 for a better education for their children. I am not the oldest grandchild but I was the very first to graduate from college and I went on to get my doctorate in psychology...HUGE deal for my Abuela. DH and I got married one month before I finished my degree. I kept my maiden name to honor the sacrifices my family made and to give credit to the name I worked so hard in school with. But I also wanted to take DHs name so I hyphenated.

spincat9 · May 2011

I hyphenated. Professionally I wanted to not lose my identification in the industry, personally people call me by my last name or some variation of it (very few people in my personal alife ctually call me by my first name) so my DH and I felt it was a big part of my identity I wasn't able to lose. Yet I wanted my name match the family so my kids weren't as confused, so hyphenating seems to work for us.

haziedaze · May 2011

DH really wanted me to and I didn't feel strongly one way or another. I told him I would if we were married before I graduated medical school. We were, so I did. After graduation, if I changed my name I would have to redo all my licensing stuff and get my diploma re-issued for the new name- huge pain! It actually wasn't that hard because the timing worked out well. I didn't feel that attached to my last name either. My dad's was the only person I knew with that last name because his father wasn't in the picture and his mother changed her name when she remarried. My dad picked my first and middle names which come from each family so I feel like I honor my heritage by keeping those names anyway.

magel050485 · May 2011

I took his last name and dropped my maiden name. I am not in a profession where it mattered, its important for our family to have the same name, plus... my DH has an awesome last name (and now I do too!)

sisterrael · May 2011

I changed my name. My DH is an only child and while he said the name issue wasn't all that big of a deal to him, it was a decision that I debated for a while. I kept my maiden name as a middle name though, kind of as a compromise. The issue that made me decide to take his name was the fact that we wanted to have kids and I kind of want all of our names to be the same. I teach, and students are quick to adjust to name changes.

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