Stolen from another board...If you're married...

noah-bear · May 2011

Did you take your DH's last name?

I was just reading this article and they're talking about the stereotypes and statistics behind name changes.

https://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112736/name-change-dilemma-women-marriage-wsj?mod=family-love_money

LSzwaya · May 2011

That was me! I did change my last name. The article was interesting!

noah-bear · May 2011

LSzwaya:
That was me! I did change my last name. The article was interesting!

Lol I thought it was too, so I stolded it!

I couldn't imagine *not* taking DH's last name. I think it's how I was raised. I understand why some celebrities don't, but other than that it confuses me to hear two different last names for a married couple. lol

CashewsMommy · May 2011

I changed my last name!

A few of the kids in my class were talking about something like this... one of my students dads took the mothers last name.

JT325 · May 2011

Interesting article.

I took DH's last name... I'm pretty traditional and it was a no brainer for me to do so.

The whole changing of names was kind of a pain (some of my SL's and CC's still have my maiden name on them) but I like my new last name.

williams4me · May 2011

I took DH's last name!! Couldn't wait too! Smile

jessieLMK · May 2011

i took hubs' last name. i didn't want to be "one of the 3 M____" at work, so i took hub's last name. besides, i was getting all new uniforms anyway, so it was convenient, and i like my "new" last name!

Missa_g · May 2011

I took my hubby's last name. My maiden name was 12 letters long, began with "Sch", and everyone seemed to have a ridiculously difficult time pronouncing it! I always joked as a kid that I was going to marry a guy with the last name "X" or something similar, just very short and simple. My "new" last name is 6 letters long, and somewhat common. I absolutely love it. I guess I'm traditional too, I never contemplated not changing my name.

Cristine · May 2011

I briefly contemplated not taking DH's name but I didn't want my kids to have a different last name. DH didn't care if I changed my name or not but he was adament that the kids have his last name. I was only 25 when we got married so it was early enough in my career that it didn't hurt me to take it.

My brother freaked out when I told him I was thinking of keeping my last name. Apparently that was one of the arguements he used to get his wife to change her name (they got married 6 months before us).

linz85 · May 2011

Yes, I took DH's last name. His grandmother was kind of shocked and told me to continue to be my own person. But I definitely wanted to take his name, I wasn't raised any other way, and to me it's too special not to.

Interesting article!

lauralew · May 2011

Haven't read the article yet...but I took Justin's last name.

Though, I have to be honest...I didn't think it would affect me emotionally, but it did. It was hard to go from an identity that tied me to my siblings and parents that I had for 25 years to a brand new name. I felt like I was giving up my identity, and it took a long time to feel comfortable saying my married name and knowing it was me...not someone else. For the first year or so, I just felt like I was Laura...drifting around between my maiden name and married name... If that makes sense.

jessieLMK · May 2011

lauralew:
Haven't read the article yet...but I took Justin's last name.
Though, I have to be honest...I didn't think it would affect me emotionally, but it did. It was hard to go from an identity that tied me to my siblings and parents that I had for 25 years to a brand new name. I felt like I was giving up my identity, and it took a long time to feel comfortable saying my married name and knowing it was me...not someone else. For the first year or so, I just felt like I was Laura...drifting around between my maiden name and married name... If that makes sense.

ITA!

alsoeveryone calls me by my first name, so if anyone calls me by my last name, i sometimes don't even register they are talking to me. i've been married 3 years! lol

kdruffles · May 2011

I hyfened (sp?) my last name. I DID NOT want to change my name. Sounds horrible but I can't stand my outlaws( AKA inlaws), so I didn't want any tie to them. I feel like marriage is a partnership not ownership, So I wanted to stay my own person. It really hurt DH feelings that I didn't want to share the same name with him, so I compromised and took both. I usually just put down my maiden name when asked for a last name except on formal documents.

chanteltbarrett · May 2011

I kept my own name. I was already professionally established and it would have been a pain to change it. Our kids will have DH's last name and it will be okay with me if the kids' friends call me "Mrs. H."

kate626 · May 2011

I proudly took DH's name Big Smile

noah-bear · May 2011

CashewsMommy:
I changed my last name!
A few of the kids in my class were talking about something like this... one of my students dads took the mothers last name.

My uncle (the only boy in the family) took his wifes name. Nearly gave my grandpa a heart attack! lol

ClaraEarlene · May 2011

I changed my name when I graduated college. I had severed my relationship with my father and his family (long story) and did not want to have his last name anymore. My grandfather (mother's father) was like a dad to me, so I wanted to honor that relationship by taking his name. When I got married, I was 33 and professionally established, so I decided to keep it. I never use my husband's name--it would be too confusing (and maybe illegal) to use 2 different last names--but I don't mind if people call me "Mrs. S__" or address mail to me with DH's last name. Our kids will have DH's last name.

michaela080 · May 2011

Yes, I did.

millejj1 · May 2011

I haven't read the article yet, but I kept everything. Now to explain. I grew up in a conservative family and it was expected. When we talking about it while we were engaged I was torn. I wasn't willing to give up my link to my family and I was already professionally established. I was leaning heavily towards hyphenating, but DH hated the idea. I also wasn't thrilled of needing to change every single detail.

Someone suggesting making my last name my middle, but I love my middle name too. DH really felt strongly and I thought it was valid he felt that way (it was never a fight or anything like that.) We decided that I'd hyphenate my middle and take his last name, and since it was so important to him, he'd do the paperwork.

We got married, and on the drive back from our PA reception he started to realize how much of a pain it would be and it turned into we'll do it after we go on the cruise in June. Then it turned into, well whenever I get around to it, and now it's that's going to be such a pain. So, he's paying for his own laziness essentially

So, legally I'm still my maiden name, socially I use DH's last name and it seems to work for now. I'm going to let him procrastinate changing it, but before kids come into the picture or my passport needs renewed, I'll make sure it's done. It's worked out, all my coworkers know what I've done and usually they just say my whole name like it's a song anyway. (it rolls really easily off the tongue)

sabrina69barnes · May 2011

In the end I took DH's name but I debated it. I had a DS before I was married. His last name was my maddienname-dadsname. I didn't like the idea of not having part of his last name and his bio dad would never have agreed to a change. In the end I took DH last name and made my maddien name my middle name.

jldubb0626 · May 2011

I took DHs last name. My last name was SO common (literally when I graduate there was 5 of us and none of us were related) so, I was excited to have an uncommon last name. I was just raised that way and I had no reason not to.

hopefulmom81 · May 2011

Cristine:
I briefly contemplated not taking DH's name but I didn't want my kids to have a different last name. DH didn't care if I changed my name or not but he was adament that the kids have his last name. I was only 25 when we got married so it was early enough in my career that it didn't hurt me to take it.

My brother freaked out when I told him I was thinking of keeping my last name. Apparently that was one of the arguements he used to get his wife to change her name (they got married 6 months before us).

This. I also considered hyphenating, but decided just to make it easy. I felt like my name was my name for 26 years and to completely give it up was hard, but I am okay with it now.

johnnys june · May 2011

I grew up very conservative and traditional...so there wasn't a debate for me. Plus, growing up I had the 3rd most popular last name in the world. Jones. To make matters worse, my initials were MJ...i got everything from Michael Jordan, Michael jackson, and lets not forget Spoderman's girl, MJ. I love my "name flow" but taking DH last name was an easy decision.

kali131 · May 2011

I did, but I wanted him to take mine or for us to make a combination of the two.. which would be "McLoates"... I mean, how cool of a last name is "McLoates"?

xnbride · May 2011

yep...and didn't think twice about it. It is a pretty common thing to do and I was happy to do it. Our names are not that different though. My initials are still the same...heck the first four letters are the same too. I can basically sign my maiden name and no one would really notice a difference.

VampyAuthor · May 2011

Interesting article. As you can tell from my SN, I did in fact take DH's name.

LaTi07 · May 2011

I was reluctant to take his last name, but only because he has a long (10+ letters) complicated (not spelled how it sounds) last name where my always mispelled maiden name was only 4 letters long. My sister on the other hand lucked out and got a really common, easy to spell last name when she got married so she was way willing to change hers (think Smith, Jones, etc). Finally after 3 months after our wedding I changed it.

somnybooks · May 2011

lauralew:
Haven't read the article yet...but I took Justin's last name.
Though, I have to be honest...I didn't think it would affect me emotionally, but it did. It was hard to go from an identity that tied me to my siblings and parents that I had for 25 years to a brand new name. I felt like I was giving up my identity, and it took a long time to feel comfortable saying my married name and knowing it was me...not someone else. For the first year or so, I just felt like I was Laura...drifting around between my maiden name and married name... If that makes sense.

I changed to DH's last name and I felt the same way!

RaeJ004 · May 2011

I almost didn't date DH's last name. I wanted to, but there was one thing that I couldn't get over....

My first name is Mackenzie. Not very common (although it is headed that way), and his sister is... ready for it? MacKenzie. Yes, all that differentiates us is one capital K. When DH and I were getting married, she was going through a divorce and talking about going back to her maiden name. So we would have the exact same name. I could just see her screwing up my credit (just the type of person she is). The only reason I did end up taking his name is that at the last minute she decided to keep her married name to have the same name as her kids.

Although legally my last name is both my maiden name and married name (I did not hyphenate), I only ever use my married name. And I get her mail all the time still!

amu1234 · May 2011

I took my DH's name but I ended up dropping my middle name and usng my maiden name as my middle name. I did wait until the school year was over so I wouldn't confuse my students too much.

Allie-Jo · May 2011

I was pretty excited to take DH name. I actually have a very big German background but my maiden name was the one from the one little branch of English I had. But DH name is very German and not very common. Also I hated being in the back of the lunch line when I was younger. Now our kids will be towards the front.

My mom thought I should take my maiden name as my middle name. But I LOVE my middle name! She actually did a good job there. (Allie Jo) its not too common and not embarrassing. So I figured that was my tie to them.

lavril · May 2011

I did take my husband's name, but it was a BIG decision. I already had publications and was somewhat established in my career. I am a pretty strong feminist too, so it was a tough decision, but I'm really glad I did.

b2b999 · May 2011

I kept my maiden name. I have a great last name, an established career and was unwilling to lose either.

our kids will have dh's last name, and i will have no problem with them calling me mrs. a and our front door has dh's last name on it.

LoriJ11 · May 2011

CashewsMommy:
I changed my last name!

A few of the kids in my class were talking about something like this... one of my students dads took the mothers last name.

That's crazy!

I took DH's last name and think it's weird if you don't unless there is a reason for it (like being a celebrity or a job that you are already known for by your last name)

biddy53178 · May 2011

I did change my name-

biddy53178 · May 2011

altho I do have to say its been a pain in the behind- I work with a girl who has the same exact name and it gets in the way a lot of the time-

nursemama2be · May 2011

I took my husbands last name and I love it. It was a pain to do. But it makes me feel more connected. I have really close friends who kept their maiden names and feel great about that too. To each her own Big Smile

cutebride73 · May 2011

I did not take DH's name. I got married at age 35, practically 36, and I just really didn't want to part with my name. I have grown quite attached to it, it is very much a part of my identity. Plus, DH's name starts with the same letter as my first name and I'm not sure I like how it sounds. Although, if people call me by DH's last name I don't mind it, I may or may not correct them, depending on who they are.

Ultimately, if we are ever blessed enough to have children together I may change it. Or possibly use both and have a double last name. Not sure if I would - it or not. We'll see when the time comes I guess.

MrsJetSet · May 2011

I took DH's name, but I kept my full name so I became FirstName MiddleName MaidenName MarriedName

All my legal documents show all 4 names but other things just show First Middle Married. I couldn't bear giving up my maiden name but I also really wanted to take DH's name.

MsOCT · May 2011

My DH and I BOTH hyphenated our last names. I didn't want to change mine, but he was determined that we both have the same last name. It's a royal pain in the you know what. Our last name is now 17 letters, with 3 capital letters, an apostrophe and a hyphen. Realistically, we both go by our maiden names mostly at work, and our friends just think we're crazy. We just joke that our kids are going to be master spellers at an early age.

melissa721 · May 2011

Yes but I didn't decide until 3 days after our wedding that I wanted to. And sometimes I miss my maiden name.

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