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VBAC
friends making unsupportive comments
Today I had a get together with a group of friends. Since I'm 35 weeks along my pregnancy came up...no surprise. They all know I had a c-section with dd so they all assumed I was planning on another. They were surprised to find out that I intended to have a vbac and immediately started in on the epidural talk. I plan to go med-free. I have had chronic back pain since having dd and I am fairly certain it started because of the spinal I recieved for the c-section (muscle spasms that centered around where the needle went in). I got a few eye rolls but I think that I can handle 1 day of pain to avoid years of trying to get/keep my back from hurting.
Anyways - just annoying that they all think I'm nuts and there is no way I can do it. Gee thanks for the support!
Then later, I was talking about things on my to-do list this summer. There is a trampoline place around (kind of like a bounce house for adults (really all ages) and I said I wanted to go there. And one lady commented about how I wouldn't be able to do that this summer. When I was surprised she said that I wouldn't want to be jumping with my incision. I said I didn't plan to have one and she kind of rolled her eyes/shrugged her shoulders and made a comment about you never know.
It is just so frustrating! There is absolutely NO REASON to believe that I can't have a successful vbac (c-section b/c dd was breech). I suppose I can understand the "you have to have the epi" thinking but really, there is no reason to believe that I can't have a natural birth as well!
So, if you don't have something nice to say that don't say anything at all people!
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Re: friends making unsupportive comments
I just had my c section 2 months ago, and before that I had stated several times to people that I wanted a med free birth, partially due to the concern for back pain. Other than my mom and husband, everyone kept saying I couldn't do it, and why bother trying to, how wonderful epi's are. I ended up with a complete opposite birth, c section, under general anesthesia. My spinal was placed incorrectly, my back hurts like h*ll all the time!
I don't understand why people must be so unsupportive! We currently are not preventing (really hard at least) another baby, will probably start trying in a year, so I have discussed vbac with friends of mine, and again I hear how c section aren't that bad, and vaginal birth is over rated, all from people who never had to have a csection, or miss there child's birth.
Sorry to ramble on about my own issues,lol. But good luck with your vbac!
I am sorry your friends were unsupportive. That was uncalled for!
I have learnt not to talk about it much except around the people I know really support my VBAC intentions. I don't even discuss it much with my mother as she has made it clear she thinks it is 'safer' to schedule a RCS.
I had one friend tell me I was being a martyr for even considering VBAC. She asked me what I was trying to prove & to whom was I trying to prove it to & wouldn't it be just easier to schedule the RCS & not think about it anymore!
People can be truely horrible sometimes!
Ditto. I didn't talk about my VBAC/med-free birth plans with anyone except a select few people I knew would understand--mostly people who had had c/s themselves.
I'm sorry people are not being supportive. If it stresses you out, don't talk to them about it. GL with your VBAC!
I was lucky that I didn't get much push-back from friends and family. My mother was supportive of my VBAC but hated that I chose a midwife for the delivery. Otherwise, most of my friends weren't surprised that I was going for a VBAC and if any of them had negative thoughts, they were smart enough to keep it to themselves. The only question I had was from a guy who was in MED SCHOOL who seemed surprised and said that he thought you had to have a CS after you have already had one. Thank you medical school professors.
Ugh. I'm sorry your friends aren't being supportive.
I agree with the PPs. Avoid talking about your vbac with unsupportive people and change the subject when they bring it up.
Thanks for the support ladies.
I was actually surprised by the reaction of most of them or I probably would've kept things to myself. But they were asking and I'm a bad liar. None of them have had a c-section so I'm sure they just don't get it.
My husband is wholly supportive and I think he even is finally starting to truly understand all my issues and reasons and that is the part that truly matters.
So glad to have this board, even if I mostly just lurk.
Baby Gender Predictor
I am sorry mama.
I don't think that most people realize how dangerous a c-section is. I sure as hell didn't when I elected for my second son to be delivered via csection. I am pregnant with my 3rd and it was actually my OB who told me to do some research before I decided on what was best for me (rcs or VBAC).
After over 300 hours of research, I can safely debate with anyone who tries to tell me that a rcs is what's best for me. None of their business to tell me what's best for me anyway or to pass judgement on me. Try telling them that. I love the fact that I am doing what is best for me and not just being a sheep and doing what someone else wants me to.
You will have a successful VBAC and get all these negative feelings out now so when it's time to go in and do your thing, you are ready. I must practice what I preach as well
Hugs mama and good luck!