Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: friends making unsupportive comments
I just had my c section 2 months ago, and before that I had stated several times to people that I wanted a med free birth, partially due to the concern for back pain. Other than my mom and husband, everyone kept saying I couldn't do it, and why bother trying to, how wonderful epi's are. I ended up with a complete opposite birth, c section, under general anesthesia. My spinal was placed incorrectly, my back hurts like h*ll all the time!
I don't understand why people must be so unsupportive! We currently are not preventing (really hard at least) another baby, will probably start trying in a year, so I have discussed vbac with friends of mine, and again I hear how c section aren't that bad, and vaginal birth is over rated, all from people who never had to have a csection, or miss there child's birth.
Sorry to ramble on about my own issues,lol. But good luck with your vbac!
I am sorry your friends were unsupportive. That was uncalled for!
I have learnt not to talk about it much except around the people I know really support my VBAC intentions. I don't even discuss it much with my mother as she has made it clear she thinks it is 'safer' to schedule a RCS.
I had one friend tell me I was being a martyr for even considering VBAC. She asked me what I was trying to prove & to whom was I trying to prove it to & wouldn't it be just easier to schedule the RCS & not think about it anymore!
People can be truely horrible sometimes!
Ditto. I didn't talk about my VBAC/med-free birth plans with anyone except a select few people I knew would understand--mostly people who had had c/s themselves.
I'm sorry people are not being supportive. If it stresses you out, don't talk to them about it. GL with your VBAC!
I was lucky that I didn't get much push-back from friends and family. My mother was supportive of my VBAC but hated that I chose a midwife for the delivery. Otherwise, most of my friends weren't surprised that I was going for a VBAC and if any of them had negative thoughts, they were smart enough to keep it to themselves. The only question I had was from a guy who was in MED SCHOOL who seemed surprised and said that he thought you had to have a CS after you have already had one. Thank you medical school professors.
Ugh. I'm sorry your friends aren't being supportive.
I agree with the PPs. Avoid talking about your vbac with unsupportive people and change the subject when they bring it up.
Thanks for the support ladies.
I was actually surprised by the reaction of most of them or I probably would've kept things to myself. But they were asking and I'm a bad liar. None of them have had a c-section so I'm sure they just don't get it.
My husband is wholly supportive and I think he even is finally starting to truly understand all my issues and reasons and that is the part that truly matters.
So glad to have this board, even if I mostly just lurk.
Baby Gender Predictor
I am sorry mama.
I don't think that most people realize how dangerous a c-section is. I sure as hell didn't when I elected for my second son to be delivered via csection. I am pregnant with my 3rd and it was actually my OB who told me to do some research before I decided on what was best for me (rcs or VBAC).
After over 300 hours of research, I can safely debate with anyone who tries to tell me that a rcs is what's best for me. None of their business to tell me what's best for me anyway or to pass judgement on me. Try telling them that. I love the fact that I am doing what is best for me and not just being a sheep and doing what someone else wants me to.
You will have a successful VBAC and get all these negative feelings out now so when it's time to go in and do your thing, you are ready. I must practice what I preach as well
Hugs mama and good luck!