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vascetomy related wtf

redshoegirlredshoegirl member
in Hawaii Babies

The boys are sick - Dash has yet ANOTHER ear infection and we now have a referral to see a specialist about it - so we took them to the doctor (not our regular one) this morning. While we were there, Ben asked about making an appointment to get a referral for a vasectomy as well. 

The doctor said no. Apparently 35 (Ben's age) is "too young" and our family "isn't complete yet." WTF, lady? We only ever wanted two kids, and we have two kids. Just because we happened to have them at the same time doesn't mean that's any less true.

The doc also said that we should wait longer because our kids are so young, and if god forbid something happened, then we might want more kids. Um, no. First off, my kids are not socks. If something happened to one of them, I'm not going to try to make a replacement. Second: we.don't.want.more.kids, no matter what happens in the future. I don't know why that's a hard concept for people to grasp.

I wonder if she'd have said the same thing if we had a boy and a girl. Or three kids. Or four kids. What IS the cutoff point where not wanting more kids is suddenly OK? I'm 30, Ben is 35, we have two children and are 100% sure that we don't want more in the future. Let's get this sh!t sewn up!

Needless to say, Ben is going to see our regular doctor, because this is something we both strongly want...but seriously, WTF?

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Re: vascetomy related wtf

  • lelekaylelekay member
    Wow!  I can't believe that!  I've heard of them making both spouses sign paperwork (to make sure he isn't doing it without her consent) before, but not them refusing!  My former BIL got one and they didn't even have kids at all.  They did both have to sign a million papers stating they didn't want them and never would, but I can't believe they'd outright refuse!  Good luck with the other doctor.
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  • redshoegirlredshoegirl member

    imagelelekay:
    Wow!  I can't believe that!  I've heard of them making both spouses sign paperwork (to make sure he isn't doing it without her consent) before, but not them refusing!  My former BIL got one and they didn't even have kids at all.  They did both have to sign a million papers stating they didn't want them and never would, but I can't believe they'd outright refuse!  Good luck with the other doctor.

    I know, right?! Why does she even care? 

    I should add that she didn't say "absolutely not, never" but she said she wouldn't give him the referral then, that he should go away and think about it for a few more months first and then they could "discuss" it. Um...he has thought about it. I've thought about it. We've discussed it even if she and he hadn't. It's not like he's asking on a whim! 

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  • gibsons1girlgibsons1girl
    I've heard of doctors doing that.  My older brother wanted one after his second child was born, but his doctor refused to do it until he reached a certain age (28 for his MD).  The day after his 28th birthday, he went in, got the referral and two weeks later had the vasectomy.  Some doctors just have different beliefs.  I'd say, call a different doctor.
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  • sanae78sanae78
    Omg, wtf is right.  It's kinda like those pharmacists who refuse to dispense the morning after pill.  It's not their business what you want to do with your body and it's not their decision!  Ugh.  How annoying.
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  • cecigcecig
    WTF? That is crazy! Your life, your body, just do it. And really, why does she get to decide that your family "isn't complete yet." Annoying!
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  • redshoegirlredshoegirl member

    imagececig:
    And really, why does she get to decide that your family "isn't complete yet." Annoying!

    Yeah, I think this was the thing that annoyed (and to be honest, offended) me the most. It's none of her business whether we have no kids, 2 kids or 10 kids! WE get to determine what the "complete" size of our family is.

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  • lola808lola808
    That came up in our family as well. Someone already had a number of kids, but the doc wouldn't honestly discuss tying her tubes because she was "too young." I can see the hesitancy for an age factor, but not the "family not complete yet" aspect. Rude!
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  • mrspresleymrspresley
    that's absurd! i can see their concern for regrets but really it is your decision and if you regret it later then that's your fault, not theirs!
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