Eating disorder and pregnancy

aadanks · May 2011

I will probably get a lot of criticism for this post, but I'd really like to know if there is anyone else going through what I am going through... I am currently 28 1/2 weeks with my first baby. I have suffered from purging anorexia for almost 15 years. I got to a healthy weight and was really doing well before conceiving. My husband and I are thrilled about bringing our little girl into this world, but I have had some trouble with my eating disorder throughout my pregnancy. I purged maybe once or twice a month for the first 6 months or so, and am now having a harder time controlling it. I want a healthy baby and feel so guilty about what I am doing, but still am having trouble stopping. The weight gain has become overwhelming, along with other stresses like moving from NYC to Chicago in 3 1/2 weeks, having Freddie and Frederica Kruger as my in-laws, and general nervousness about becoming a mom... obviously non of these things are excuses for my behavior, but they contribute.

I want to stop. I am not sure if I can, and I am on the fence about talking to my ob. I feel terribly guilty over this, and I am definitely afraid of being judged. I would love to know if anyone is going through anything like what I am going through. I also know that everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I'd like to ask that people keep angry, judgmental, and hateful comments to themselves.

kimbo1216 · May 2011

My friend struggles with an eating disorder. She has a couple of ED friends that have had babies. It's very difficult for them. Something I can't personally relate to. However, from what I've heard from her, they could not have done it without help.

Consistent counseling and group meetings were a necessity for their mental and physical health as well as the health of their babies.

Are you in counseling? Do you at least go to any group meetings? If not, I would highly recommend finding something. You need to be around people who understand what you are going through and who can encourage you without judgment and nagging.

ETA: You should probably also look into seeing a nutritionist that specializes in eating disorders. Some one like that will be able to help you with your diet and create a plan that works for you and baby.

JrsMommy11 · May 2011

kimbo1216:
My friend struggles with an eating disorder. She has a couple of ED friends that have had babies. It's very difficult for them. Something I can't personally relate to. However, from what I've heard from her, they could not have done it without help.
Consistent counseling and group meetings were a necessity for their mental and physical health as well as the health of their babies.
Are you in counseling? Do you at least go to any group meetings? If not, I would highly recommend finding something. You need to be around people who understand what you are going through and who can encourage you without judgment and nagging.
ETA: You should probably also look into seeing a nutritionist that specializes in eating disorders. Some one like that will be able to help you with your diet and create a plan that works for you and baby.

agreed. all of it.

jheideman · May 2011

That is so hard - and quite frankly, you can not get over this by yourself. Talk to your ob (don't worry about being judged, he/she has probably seen much worse!), and they can get you the appropriate help. You will probably need a combination of a counselor, nutritionist, and a doctor who specializes in this area. I am sure the stress is bringing this out even more, as it seems like purging is a way that you have learned to deal with stress. Don't beat yourself up, but instead begin taking the steps forward to get the help you need.

Many thoughts and prayers as you, hopefully, begin a journey toward healing.

gemmaschenk · May 2011

I would definitely say that talking to your OB is a great idea, it is possible that your OB would even be able point in the right direction of help. When I was pregnant with my now 5 year old son, I was 16, and in denial about even being pregnant. On top of that I didn't eat at ALL the first couple months...I started eating again when I went to poop and saw that it wasn't what it should be...it was blood, because my body was eating itself...thats when I started eating again. I'm very lucky that my son turned out ok, and while I know that woman in many other countries have healthy babies despite not having the nutrients that they need...your baby needs that food, and can possibly be damaged without it. Definitely start looking for some support, in groups, your OB, and counseling. GL and let us know how things turn out.

darmca · May 2011

I have struggled with mild bulimia in the past. When I met my husband I stopped because I really felt okay about myself. I had undergone some personal problems that caused me to gain a lot of weight right before I got pregnant and got pregnant while we were not trying and I was on BC.

I knew weighing myself at appointments would be really stressful (years of weight watchers- not eating or drinking hours before being weighed, stressing over 1lb etc) so I talked to my midwife from the start. She has just not been weighing me. She got a base weight at the start and a weight at about 36 weeks just to have general information but I didn't look at the scale and she just wrote it down.

I had a minor melt-down last week when she had to talk about my weight due to homebirth plans and I lost it. I went home and didn't eat for 12 hours because I felt so fat. Then I felt guilty and forced myself to eat because I knew it was bad for the baby. I spent the week beating myself up in my mind, sobbing and hyperventilating for hours and then at my next appointment my blood pressure was high for the first time my entire pregnancy. I am just trying again to not think about it and just know I can 'fix' it after he is born.

Talk to your OB- see if you need to be weighed- not seeing those numbers is a big relief for me. Hopefully everything works out- if you have access to counseling then I would really recommend it. Take care of yourself and your baby.

amyc78741 · May 2011

I would tell your OB. She can assess you and make sure that you get the proper nutrition for your baby. Don't worry about getting judged- she is there to help you. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Someone who can hold you accountable if you feel like purging they can try and talk to you first?

Your not alone- and I'm sure it is very common. Take your baby's needs into consideration everytime you have a thought. Try to understand that gaining weight is of course part of the whole pregnancy. Ask your doctor to refer a counselor so you can relieve some of that anxiety. Prayers to you!

justme04 · May 2011

I think you should talk to your OB about it. Its not healthy for either you or your baby. I urge you to seek help. I think if you address the situation you'd be more commended for your efforts to want to change then you would be judged for your situation. It would be far worse for both of you to bury it and not seek help.

I know a lot of people who have had problems with eating disorders and overcame them. Personally I used to be an stress eater....I would eat when ever I was stressed out about something. I don't think it could have been or was considered a disorder but I did see a nutritionist who helped me stop and discover other ways of dealing with the stress. (At least they never addressed it as a disorder).

I hope you find the answers you need to help you take control of the situation.

P0upette · May 2011

i battled with anorexia when I was 18... it took me over 4 years to regain the weight I had lost and get my period back.... and now, at 35, with all the rude comment about my weight gain in this pregnancy, I do sometimes find myself watching what I eat or denying myself a cookie... and this is after years of therapy and being recovered for 12 years

so it IS going to be a hard battle but at least you are aware and willing to make the changes. Talk to your OB: therapy may not be an option yet but she can maybe prescribe a supplement to make sure you are getting enough vitamins and iron and calcium. She could also put you in touch with a nutritionist that can help you plan sensible meals that won't freak you out and take away the urge to purge....

either way, know you are not alone, it is difficult and you are doing all you can to make sure your baby will be fine. That's the most important step. Don't be too hard on yourself and make small changes where you can... and once you feel good about it, check out some therapy. For me, group was the most beneficial...

jenmarshall88 · May 2011

I have been a binge eater for a long time. I can't relate much because it seems since this pregnancy it has been one giant binge that I will regret later but I would definitely recommend talking to your OB. I know the thought of how judgemental or embarassing that talk may be scares you, but the safety of your child is more important and you will feel so much better once you have this conversation.

Also, I would highly recommend some form of therapy, which I'm sure your OB will go over with you. Not just for your sake but for your daughter's. You know how difficult this lifestyle has been for you and I know you don't want your daughter going through the same thing. Therapy may teach you how to come about this with your daughter and how to approach it with her throughout the years of recovery I hope you will face. My mother was bulimic for a lot of my childhood and it caused a lot of body issues in my home. I don't want to see that for you or your daughter.

GL with all of this, I'll be thinking and praying for you. Stay strong for that sweet little girl and for yourself. Keep us posted on how it goes. Feel free to PM me any time ::hugs::

forensicmama · May 2011

I don't know why anyone would criticize you, hun! And I sure hope they don't, otherwise I'll flame them! Eating disorders are difficult and just because you go into remission and get healthy, doesn't mean that the eating disorder is magically gone. Antidepressants have been proven to be helpful with eating disorders and are safe during pregnancy. For women who don't want to take medications during pregnancy, counseling is extremely effective in helping a woman (pregnant or not) deal with feelings of anxiety over weight gain. In fact, a combination of antidepressants and counseling are always most effective, in a number of disorders. Pregnancy is difficult - even women without eating disorders have difficulty dealing with the weight gain aspect - the effect is tenfold for a woman with an eating disorder. My honest advice is to seek out counseling and to discuss treatment options. Weight gain is extremely important for your little one - and you know this. Most DEFINITELY talk to your OB. Remember that they have seen it all and they have definitely seen pregnant women with eating disorders before - overeating, anorexia nervosa (purging type, restricting type) and bulimia (purging and restricting types). Being open with your doctor and honest will not only benefit you in the end, but it will also benefit your growing baby - and that's the most important thing, isn't it?

May+Mommy+2011 · May 2011

I too have struggled with my eating disorder for many years. While my thoughts have gotten the best of me throughout this pregnancy, my behaviors have not. I've found a couple of things helpful...1. I stopped seeing a therapist about a year after leaving treatment (back in HS) and I went back JUST for this pregnancy. I knew it would be hard, and it was hard to go back especially when I'm not actually acting on my thoughts, but it has been VERY worth it. I feel like I niped it in the butt before it could get out of control. 2. I've been seeing a special nutritionist throughout my pregnancy. It's also been very helpful. 3.) I NEVER look at my weight gain. I've wanted to, but I know that wouldn't be best for me. So, when I go to the OB and to my nutritionist I get weighed backwards so I can't see it. That has also been very helpful for me.

Anyway, those are things I've been doing to keep myself from going back there and I really encourage you to find ways to help yourself stay healthy. I wish you the best of luck and even though I don't know you, my thoughts and prayers are with you!

CaptainNikki · May 2011

I'm not going what you're going through, but I wish you much luck on your journey ahead.

The only thing I could say, is to talk to your OB about it.

laurmarie7 · May 2011

Absolutely talk to your OB about it. Anything you say to him/her is in confidence, and I'm sure they've dealt with it before. They'll probably have good advice for you and can point you in the right direction nutritionally.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, and I wish you the best of luck! I'm sure this isn't easy for you, but at least you're wanting to make the best choices for you and your LO. Talk to your doctor! Good luck!

aadanks · May 2011

Thank you so much for all of your advice. I am in counseling and have a nutritionist.. I just need to be more upfront. I have just been really scared of what people might think or say. Reading all of your responses was really helpful and definitely eases some of my fears about talking to my OB. Thank you so much!

kimbo1216 · May 2011

aadanks:
Thank you so much for all of your advice. I am in counseling and have a nutritionist.. I just need to be more upfront. I have just been really scared of what people might think or say. Reading all of your responses was really helpful and definitely eases some of my fears about talking to my OB. Thank you so much!

It sounds like your on the right tract. I would think talking to your OB will only ease those fears more. GL and feel free to update us anytime.

Want a personalized experience?

Eating disorder and pregnancy

Re: Eating disorder and pregnancy

Choose Another Board

Search Boards