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Pre-School and Daycare
Talking to DD about having a new baby
I have a DD who will be 4 in August, and just found out last week that I'm pregnant (Hooray!!). I already know how hard it is to talk about things with her that are weeks or months away. We are moving to a new house next week and talked to her about a month ago, and whether it's tomorrow or next week she doesn't seem to get the difference quite yet.
If you have two, or one and another on the way, talk to me about your approach. When did you tell your first child, and how did you talk about it? It already seems hard to keep her out of the conversation, but we don't want to talk about it too early, you know?
Thank you!
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Re: Talking to DD about having a new baby
We told our DS1 after my first u/s. We should him the picture and told him that he's going to be a big brother again. It's easier if they can see what you're talking about, as opposed to just telling them. It made it real for him. He went and told everybody at his school and sunday school too!
As I'm getting bigger and now that we've found out that's it another boy, he can call him by his name, Charlie. Which seems to make it more real for him. And I had him help my put the nursery furniture back together and into the baby's room. He also helped me decorate it and put the bedding on. I plan on letting him pick out a few toys for the the baby too (carseat toys, crib toys, etc).
I think he's finally understanding that it takes a LONG time for the baby to come. Since this one is due a couple weeks after DS1's birthday, I told him that after we have his fun 5th birthday party, the baby will be born. Then, he asked me how I'd get him out. I told him that Mommy has to go to the hospital and she pushes him out. WHich brought up the question "How do I push him out?" Yeah...I wasn't ready for that. I told him it's like when you go poo poo in the potty. To which he responded "You push him out your butt?!" I just said yes and changed the subject. HAHAHA!! Hasn't asked me that question since. : )
Congratulations on your pregnancy! We also have a 4 year-old DD. In our case she has been asking for a baby sister or brother forever. We told her at about 12 weeks after I had my CVS test and we showed her the ultrasound photos. We wanted to tell her before we told anyone else.
She is very excited and tells all her friends that there is a baby in mommy's tummy. She has asked once or twice about when the baby is going to come but it's not been bad at all. She is learning about seasons in preschool and we've told her that the baby will come after the summer is over in the fall around halloween time. She seems to get it pretty well.
I would include her in the conversation when she seems interested but not give her any more information than she wants. Good luck!
My son was about 2.5 when we found out we were pregnant. We didn't say anything to him until about 14 weeks. At that point I don't think he "got it" because I wasn't really showing yet. By the time I was 20 weeks and was showing he started to understand the "baby in the belly" and he liked to talk about the baby.
As I got bigger he got more excited. We had a couple of books about babies and becoming a big sibling. We also watched a lot of a "Baby story" on TLC to get use to the idea of pregnancy and L&D. He would ask if having a baby hurt? and if the doctor was going to cut the baby out or if I wold push it out? I wouldn't start too early because they really have no concept of time, even at age 4.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
We waited until after the first trimester, because we didn't want her spilling the beans! (We had a m/c in between the girls.) But she didn't really get it until I was showing. We also got books, got her a baby doll set with a stroller, PnP, etc. She took great care of her baby doll!
And for when we brought DD#2 home, we got each girl a "gift" from the other. DD#1 went with Grandma to the store to pick out something for DD#2, and we got DD#1 a present to unwrap that was from DD#2. We have the most amazing video from the moment they met:) Brings tears to my eyes! (Swine flu was rampant when DD#2 was born, so DD#1 wasn't allowed at the hospital.) Grandma video'd the meeting and the adorable hugs and kisses:)
mine was only 20 months when baby sis was born so it wasn't a huge issue, but she knew there was a baby in mama's tummy and we read a lot of this book- it's FABULOUS!!
https://www.amazon.com/What-Needs-Sears-Children-Library/dp/0316788287/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1305266976&sr=8-1
Mine are only 26 months apart- but I got my DD really involved in my pregnancy so she understood as best a 2 yr old can what was going on. I can't remember exactly when we told her- she was probably only 19 months when we went public w/ the info, put her in the big sister shirt to tell the world, etc.
We told her a baby was growing in my belly and that my belly was going to get bigger as the baby grew, that when the baby came out he would be very small . She came to all of my MW appts w/ me and got to hear the baby's heart beat. She also came to our U/S appt and was excited to get to see the "baby on TV"- which was hilarious because we didn't let her really watch TV until she was 2, so she was really excited about that- she then would ask to see the baby on TV at home, which was funny!
Whenever something arrived for the baby I would tell her it was for the baby and try to get her involved/let her know about what things we were doing to prepare for the baby, etc. got her a toy to give to the baby when he arrived, etc.
I also found she liked seeing baby pictures of herself- we showed her pictures of when she was a newborn, infant, etc. so that she knew what the baby would look like, etc.