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feeling guilty re: maternity "leave"

erinlovesdaviderinlovesdavid member
in Pregnant after a Loss

When I say "leave," I put quotes around it because it will be a permanent leave. My employer knows that I do not intend to return to work after LO is born. Some of you may remember that they re-hired me in January after about a year of sabbatical, fully aware that I did not plan to stay on past the birth of our child. So they knew what they were getting into.

They have made a plan for my workload; my replacement will be ready to take over my client base as of 5/23. I am strongly considering making 5/27 be my last day of work, but for some reason feel guilty for not staying longer to help her transition into my role, and help out with other projects around the office. My boss has practically begged me to stay until 6/17 (I'm due 6/22).

What's wrong with me!? They KNOW I'm leaving. They have known all along! The only thing keeping me here now is the money, and honestly, we have met our savings goals. So I hate to say it but money is not that great of an incentive at this point! Obviously more money is never bad, but I'm starting to get stressed out about all the things we have to do around the house before little man arrives, and the longer I wait, the more incapacitated I will become.

I guess it boils down to me being a "people pleaser." I want to help people as much as I can, and often consider my own needs last. Someone please tell me that I'm not selfish for wanting to take a few weeks off to prepare for our little one's arrival.

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Re: feeling guilty re: maternity "leave"

  • Fififa21Fififa21 member
    What if your little man comes early? I would play it on the safe side and skidaddle it out of there long before your due date. Like you said, they knew what they were getting into and the money isn?t really an issue. I agree with you on making 5/27 your last day. If they have any emergency problems after that, they can always call you and get your opinion by phone, right?

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  • Mrs.AlbieMrs.Albie member
    I guess the only people I'd worry about pleasing at this point are the ones that live under my roof.  You're right, you went in there with complete honesty about your situation.  It was great that it worked out for you to stay as long as you did, but now you need to get ready for baby and take care of yourself.  Don't add extra anxiety to the mix by trying to help others before your own legitimate needs! 
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  • Karen1998Karen1998 member
    (((Hugs)))  Take the time off and enjoy it!  You won't get a break like this again any time soon, so take advantage of it!  Just be clear (again) with your boss and explain that you'll be needing time to prepare for the baby so you won't be able to stay until mid-June. 
    BFP#1 4/17/10...EDD 1/6/11...M/C 5/28/10 BFP#2 11/19/10...EDD 8/4/11 Squeaker born 7/30.
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  • jertiejertie member
    A co-worker of mine actually advised me to take a week or so off before my actual due date.  She said that there is so much to do before the baby comes (light cleaning, wash the baby clothes, get those small last-minute items for the nursery - plus you'll be big and not really that efficient any way.  Even if you are being selfish - who cares?  You're taking care of you and there's nothing wrong with that.

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  • alexa08alexa08

    I totally understand how you feel.  I know I want to leave my job on the best terms possible, but I too want a couple weeks to myself at home.  You need to do what's best for you and your family!

    What about offering to do a week or two half time?  Or just 2 days a week? 

    I would certainly not offer to let them call you at home after your last day - you're off the payroll then and if they call more than you'd like it'll get old fast.

    Good luck!

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  • kathymariekathymarie member
    Everyone I know that worked close to their due date has said that they wish they would have taken off earlier. Worry about yourself, not that company. You were honest and upfront from the beginning, so it's on them now. You'll need the rest to get ready for labor, and it would be nice to have some "me time" before your life changes forever.
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  • bryanandkatrinabryanandkatrina member

    I am the exact same way!

    In the end, you gotta do what's right for you and LO.

    I plan to take some time off before my EDD. I figure at that point I will need a break and so will my body - it will be much deserved.

    I understand the guilt though, hang in there!

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  • Zed58Zed58
    I could totally see you wanting to stick around cause you want to make them happy. You totally strike me as a people pleaser (which is certainly not a bad thing..I wish I had more of that in me), but there definitely comes a time when you really need to focus on you. Taking some time for you to tie up loose ends and get some rest before little man arrives will do you good, hun. You deserve the break and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. My advice? Be selfish for now cause in about a month, you won't be putting yourself first ever again (also, not a bad thing Wink ).
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  • erinlovesdaviderinlovesdavid member
    imageZed58:
    I could totally see you wanting to stick around cause you want to make them happy. You totally strike me as a people pleaser (which is certainly not a bad thing..I wish I had more of that in me), but there definitely comes a time when you really need to focus on you. Taking some time for you to tie up loose ends and get some rest before little man arrives will do you good, hun. You deserve the break and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. My advice? Be selfish for now cause in about a month, you won't be putting yourself first ever again (also, not a bad thing Wink ).
    Such a good point! I already have a meeting scheduled with my boss on Monday, I guess I will plan to give my two-week notice at that time. It just seems so early, but I guess it really isn't!
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  • spincat9spincat9 member

    I can totally appreciate what you are feeling!  My last day was 2.5 weeks before our due date and I felt so guilty for not working longer.

    Let me tell you from current experience, you are not selfish at all for wanting to take some time to prepare.  I had no idea how many "to-do's" had piled up because DH and I worked so hard/long hours.  I wish I had left a week earlier to be honest!!!!  If you have the ability and means to take that time, I would suggest taking it.  You might be amazed at how full your days are getting things done and ready.  Plus you will probably greatly benefit from time to relax and rejuvenate a bit before delivery. 

    Then there's always the possibility you could go a bit early...so you might not have as much time to prep as you think!

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