Public or Private School, clicky poll

alyssa7 · May 2011

If money were not an issue, would you want your kid(s) in private or public school?

I was a public school kid and have no problem with having my kids go to public school. DH went to private school from elementary through college and would prefer private school. My sister who went to public, has taught at private schools, and prefers her kids go to public school. What would you want for your kids? I see pros and cons for both.

[Poll]

mandy0505 · May 2011

My dd goes to private currently but was in public from K-5th grade. We felt it was the best move for her because she is very intelligent but kind of a push over. For example, she would raise her hand in class and began answering a question then another kid would just talk right over her. She would sit there quietly.

Also, the high school that we are in the district of is not the most ideal. The middle school is fine but we didn't want to move her after middle school. Our final defining moment was a fight that broke out at the high school and required the police to respond with canisters containing gas to break up the riot. We really didn't want to expose her to the possibility of dealing with that. kwim?

mcunningham · May 2011

this is something i am starting to think about a lot lately. we live in a great district (los gatos) but we are still thinking about doing private, its just so darn expensive. my husband teaches at a public high school and we both agree that they will def go to private high schools, its just a matter of what we will do for elementary school.

ps - i hate that privates charge you more if you dont go to church every sunday and donate to the collection! i am all for church but every sunday is just too much for me.

AvaLikeLava · May 2011

mcunningham:

ps - i hate that privates charge you more if you dont go to church every sunday and donate to the collection! i am all for church but every sunday is just too much for me.

Would a non-faith based private school be out of the question in that case? Unless, of course, the faith aspect IS the reason for private education.

AvaLikeLava · May 2011

I'd prefer public. The only thing that would sway me is the quality of the teaching staff.

I attended a Russian school on the week-ends, and was the only kid NOT attending a private school during the week. I remember one of the girls looking horrified when she heard this. She said "Well, how are you SAFE?" And, confused, I asked "Safe?"

I'm still unclear as to why public schools are viewed to be less "safe" than private schools. Is it because of the wider socio-economic gap? A fight is a fight, and can break out anywhere. Weather you wear a tie and a blazer or jeans and a t-shirt, it's still a fight.

I had a lot of friends that attended private school (CPS, Heading) and what I observed was that there was FAR more drug use (and harder drug use) amongst those kids than those in my public school. So maybe you're exchanging one type of safe for another?

mcunningham · May 2011

hi ava - i havent really come across any privates in our surrounding area that are non-faith based. i will def have to look into this. thanks!

Mrs.Wright07 · May 2011

MrsJulieT:
I was going to say that I think for the most part, the results of this poll will somewhat coincide with where people live or what school district they are zoned for.

I agree with Julie.

AnyaBella · May 2011

I answered "private" but honestly $$ isn't the only thing that plays into our decision. There are a couple of towns right by us that have great public schools with smaller teacher to student ratios and if we decide we want to go the public route then we will just move there. If we decide we want to stay in this area then private or homeschooling is going to have to be seriously considered.

I have worked as a teacher in our district and I am very unhappy with the quality of education not only in this district but statewide. The classrooms are overcrowded, the teaching/learning supplies are limited and teachers are forced to teach to the test. I hate that I feel this way, I grew up going to public schools and in theory have nothing against them, but I hate what they have become.

I actually taught at one of the best schools in the district. We had an awesome PTA that did a huge amount of fundraising so our school had a lot of things other schools in the district didn't. But still our resources were limited. It's not ok with me to have P.E. once a week (if at all) or limited/no arts and science. Then there was the lack of intervention. We had one resource teacher who split her time between three different elementary schools. Our resource students went once a week in groups. I was grateful that the kids who needed it got to go at all, but really how much help is once a week meetings? I don't know, I just saw so many kids slipping through the cracks because of NCLB and other bits of red tape and I don't want that for my children.

2bearichards · May 2011

MrsJulieT:
I was going to say that I think for the most part, the results of this poll will somewhat coincide with where people live or what school district they are zoned for.

I agree with Julie also. But we also chose our neighborhood based on how good the public schools in the area were.

ladipale · May 2011

Just based on our personal experiences growing up, we will definitely go with private school, especially for high school. Hopefully single sex education if our kids think its the right fit. We both attribute a lot of our success to our single sex high school educations. Especially since I have a girl. I really believe that I would have floundered at a co-ed public (or private) school and would not have graduated with the same confidence and determination.

If we end up back in the south bay, our kids will for sure go to a Catholic school for elementary school (mostly b/c my MIL is high up in the diocese) If we stay in Sacramento, it may depend where we live, but I'm sure John and his family will urge us to do Catholic school.

f&s2006 · May 2011

I very much prefer public school, for many reasons. One being that we pay through the nose for it in SF anyway through our taxes. Another that I went through public schools myself and I am pretty confident that our kids will do just fine in either, and I don't see the advantages of private outweighing those for public, for us, anyway. And I truly believe in supporting the public schools.

Of course, my caveat is that if P gets into an elementary school waayyyyyy across town we may choose to put him in private just for our sanity - the way SFUSD does school placement is a bit insane, and I just don't think I could take spending half my day dropping off and picking up my child. (up to 40min each way, worst case scenario)

pink.dutch.tulips · May 2011

2bearichards:

MrsJulieT:
I was going to say that I think for the most part, the results of this poll will somewhat coincide with where people live or what school district they are zoned for.

I agree with Julie also. But we also chose our neighborhood based on how good the public schools in the area were.

add me to the chorus ... alot of the public v private school debate centers around what schools a certain area is zoned for. most people when househunting target specific areas JUST b/c of the schools. why spend the money on private schools when there are distinguished public ones in your neighborhood.

this is one of the reasons why when it comes time for dd to start school, i'd be more than willing to forgo a house for condo/twnhse JUST so dd can go to schools in a particular area.

Mrs.BoomBoom · May 2011

I think there are several big differences in terms of safety (and I'm speaking mainly of high schools here)...

1) you can kick kids out of private school much easier than public

2) Private schools don't have to take everyone (I've got kids with ankle bracelets, parole officers, gang affiliations, and who have been in and out of juvie...not to mention the oppositional defiant and emotionally disturbed)

3) Private schools are smaller (generally) so you know the kids, and they know you.

I agree, drug and alcohol use is higher at many private schools (it comes with the affluence) but there are more hardened criminals at public schools.

mandy0505 · May 2011

My dd attends a private school where it is faith based. The school is not held at a Church and does not require you to attend Church, other than the student attending chapel during the regular school hours.

I really like this school because we went during Halloween a few years ago to check it out and they actually had Halloween decorations up! No ghosts or goblins but banners saying Happy Halloween and pumpkins and such. It really opened my expectations for a private school.

StefandTodd · May 2011

pink.dutch.tulips:
2bearichards:

MrsJulieT:
I was going to say that I think for the most part, the results of this poll will somewhat coincide with where people live or what school district they are zoned for.

I agree with Julie also. But we also chose our neighborhood based on how good the public schools in the area were.

add me to the chorus ... alot of the public v private school debate centers around what schools a certain area is zoned for. most people when househunting target specific areas JUST b/c of the schools. why spend the money on private schools when there are distinguished public ones in your neighborhood.

this is one of the reasons why when it comes time for dd to start school, i'd be more than willing to forgo a house for condo/twnhse JUST so dd can go to schools in a particular area.

Yep. This is us, completely. We always say that we pay our mortgage and our property taxes instead of paying for private schools. It was the most important thing we were looking for when buying.

2bearichards · May 2011

Mrs.BoomBoom:

I agree, drug and alcohol use is higher at many private schools (it comes with the affluence) but there are more hardened criminals at public schools.

Interesting generalization

tri_bride05 · May 2011

2bearichards:

MrsJulieT:
I was going to say that I think for the most part, the results of this poll will somewhat coincide with where people live or what school district they are zoned for.

I agree with Julie also. But we also chose our neighborhood based on how good the public schools in the area were.

I agree with both of these comments. We live in an awesome school district and plan that our kids will go to public schools through high school.

kittylove · May 2011

Another ditto Julie here. I voted Private but in truth if money were no issue we would move to a better public school district.

jsugrin · May 2011

I live in Chico and frankly none of our schools are that great. There are a couple charter options that are looking like good choices for Andrew but I think any of our publics wouldn't be enough for him.

For people that say they went public and it was fine, so did I but it's not the same world out there anymore. Mrs.Boomboom is right and don't think you won't have kids like that simply because your school has a good rating. Especially at the elementary age those kids are all throughout schools and they're scary even at age 8. My mom just retired as a 3-5 Principal and says she would never send a kid to public if at all possible. It was routine at that age level for kids to be talking about Fvcking each other up the ass, wanting to hold a girl down and rape her. These are not isolated incidents and it was not a low performing school.

Call me an a snob but I think at a private school I have less chance of my kids being exposed to horrific sexuality and language at an early age than in public school.

Mrs.BoomBoom · May 2011

2bearichards:
Mrs.BoomBoom:

I agree, drug and alcohol use is higher at many private schools (it comes with the affluence) but there are more hardened criminals at public schools.

Interesting generalization

Oh, I should add, I see higher drug and alcohol usage when I'm at wealthier public schools, not just private. Also, more suicides at more rigorous schools. At a poor public school, students who are into illicit behavior are less likely to come to school, so, they're high at home.

EmmieB · May 2011

jsugrin:
I live in Chico and frankly none of our schools are that great. There are a couple charter options that are looking like good choices for Andrew but I think any of our publics wouldn't be enough for him.
For people that say they went public and it was fine, so did I but it's not the same world out there anymore. Mrs.Boomboom is right and don't think you won't have kids like that simply because your school has a good rating. Especially at the elementary age those kids are all throughout schools and they're scary even at age 8. My mom just retired as a 3-5 Principal and says she would never send a kid to public if at all possible. It was routine at that age level for kids to be talking about Fvcking each other up the ass, wanting to hold a girl down and rape her. These are not isolated incidents and it was not a low performing school.
Call me an a snob but I think at a private school I have less chance of my kids being exposed to horrific sexuality and language at an early age than in public school.

hee hee - you've clearly not been inside an all boys high school. My husband went to Jesuit Prep (private, catholic, in Dallas) and their senior t-shirt had the logo on the front and the back said "Roll 'em, Smoke 'em, GO BIG J!" And that was just the t-shirt. The stories I hear when those boys get together....

I find it interesting that the main points in this discussion are the excellence of the school/quality of education, crime, and money....and not the type of education. I clicked "private" because I want alternative schooling. The public schools are fine here (Willow Glen) but nationally the money for arts is being slashed and I find that unacceptable. My children will go to the school that provides the environment in which they will thrive (structure-wise, and - when they're older - focus - like a magnate school) as well as one that offers art, music, theater, physical education in ways that aren't afterthoughts or in danger of being cut.

lukaface · May 2011

DH attended private school through HS and I attended private HS. We will send our kids to public school because we live in a fantastic school district. If we lived in a district with low performing schools we would probably consider private.

pink.dutch.tulips · May 2011

Mrs.BoomBoom:
2bearichards:
Mrs.BoomBoom:

I agree, drug and alcohol use is higher at many private schools (it comes with the affluence) but there are more hardened criminals at public schools.

Interesting generalization

Oh, I should add, I see higher drug and alcohol usage when I'm at wealthier public schools, not just private. Also, more suicides at more rigorous schools. At a poor public school, students who are into illicit behavior are less likely to come to school, so, they're high at home.

wasn't it Gunn HS in Palo Alto had a string of suicides last year ?!? students stepping onto caltrains tracks .... isn't Gunn one of those rigorous hs where it's stanford/ivy league or bust ?!?

a friend of mine when to alcalanes hs in lafayette .. yeah RAMPANT drug use there too. the drugs of choice were the more expensive kind but still ... you had your druggies too.

ashleyhuney · May 2011

We will most likely be going private or homeschool. Our reasons have more to do with the philosophy of education and being in a "good" school district doesn't change my opinion. I probably won't choose a mainstream private school either.

That said I'm not a fan of where public schools have gone. My mom has been a teacher for 35 years and has witnessed firsthand the changes. When I wanted to be a teacher my mom actually discouraged it and she doesn't really want her grandkids in public school either. Lack of resources, PE, art, music and she says that she can't even do too much of the "fun" history, science etc stuff like she used to because of the pressure to teach the kids what they need to know for the test. She teaches kindergarten.

EmmieB · May 2011

pink.dutch.tulips:
Mrs.BoomBoom:
2bearichards:
Mrs.BoomBoom:

I agree, drug and alcohol use is higher at many private schools (it comes with the affluence) but there are more hardened criminals at public schools.

Interesting generalization

Oh, I should add, I see higher drug and alcohol usage when I'm at wealthier public schools, not just private. Also, more suicides at more rigorous schools. At a poor public school, students who are into illicit behavior are less likely to come to school, so, they're high at home.

wasn't it Gunn HS in Palo Alto had a string of suicides last year ?!? students stepping onto caltrains tracks .... isn't Gunn one of those rigorous hs where it's stanford/ivy league or bust ?!?

a friend of mine when to alcalanes hs in lafayette .. yeah RAMPANT drug use there too. the drugs of choice were the more expensive kind but still ... you had your druggies too.

Plano Sr High in Texas is in one of the richest neighborhoods in the area and they've had a huge drug problem: MTV did a show about the heroin problem and Heathers (the movie) was inspired by suicide pacts that took out a significant percentage of the student body in the early 80s. Wealthy kids + spare time + absent parents = trouble. (the main part of that being absent parents, obviously)

legaleagles · May 2011

We haven't decided. Ideally, our kids will go to public school through at least elementary school. We are in the process of buying in an excellent school district with a great elementary school. We talked to the parents in the neighborhood that go to the school, looked into the PTA, etc. The middle school and high school are okay, but not great. We will likely move to a better public school district and buy a bigger house in about 10 years anyway when.

That said, we have thought about and considered private, non-faith based schools as well - but the ones we look at are upwards of $15k-25k/year for elementary school and I don't know that it's worth what I spent on college in all honesty.

We have also considered my sister's school. She works at a charter school near where we bought which has amazing fundraisers, a great PTA and excellent teachers - I know most of the them. My sister is a 4/5 teacher and co-curriculum developer. The stuff they do at her school is incredible - art, pe, music, hands on learning (science camp; field trips; camping trips to gold country for 4th grade history; etc.). Their API scores are in the mid-high 900s and the kids have gone on to amazing private high schools - the school is relatively new so I don't know if they've had any go on to college yet.

So I don't know, but we are going to have a very high mortgage to be in one of the better elementary school districts in Santa Clara County.

But a lot of education takes place at home. My mom who is a teacher/librarian/resource specialist is retiring and will be our nanny - "education" will be starting for this LO from the start.

legaleagles · May 2011

I went to private HS locally - the amount of drug use and sex was unreal. I don't know that I could go a day without seeing someone snorting a line in the bathroom. And we had plenty of kids who were in trouble with the law - they just have parents rich enough and with connections to get them off.

Celyn · May 2011

Neither all public schools nor all private schools are created equal. If moeny were no object I'd have my kids in the best school availalbe, whether it was public or private.

Mrs.BoomBoom · May 2011

jsugrin:
don't think you won't have kids like that simply because your school has a good rating.

At the high school level, students are often expelled from the lower rated schools and transferred to the higher level schools. Skyline in Oakland is a perfect example of that.

tri-reader · May 2011

2bearichards:
MrsJulieT:
I was going to say that I think for the most part, the results of this poll will somewhat coincide with where people live or what school district they are zoned for.
I agree with Julie also. But we also chose our neighborhood based on how good the public schools in the area were.

Ditto this.

I'd rather use the extra money if I had the money for private but chose public (if that was the scenario) for extra curricular activities. Sports/dance/arts etc.

RozieGirl · May 2011

f&s2006:
Of course, my caveat is that if P gets into an elementary school waayyyyyy across town we may choose to put him in private just for our sanity - the way SFUSD does school placement is a bit insane, and I just don't think I could take spending half my day dropping off and picking up my child. (up to 40min each way, worst case scenario)

From what I have been hearing and from talking to other parents at J's preschool, that is no longer the case. SFUSD has changed and they are now placing your child at one of your top 3 choices in or around your neighborhood.

ladipale · May 2011

legaleagles:
I went to private HS locally - the amount of drug use and sex was unreal. I don't know that I could go a day without seeing someone snorting a line in the bathroom. And we had plenty of kids who were in trouble with the law - they just have parents rich enough and with connections to get them off.

That is so crazy to me! Considering i know where you went and was at another private HS at the same time. I never saw anyone using drugs at school, but I'm sure it happened. And most of the people in my circle of friends barely even drank in HS. The boys we hung with did drink, and I knew some pot smokers, but thats it! unless i'm so naive that it was happening right in front of me and i didn't know it.

jsugrin · May 2011

EmmieB:
jsugrin:
I live in Chico and frankly none of our schools are that great. There are a couple charter options that are looking like good choices for Andrew but I think any of our publics wouldn't be enough for him.
For people that say they went public and it was fine, so did I but it's not the same world out there anymore. Mrs.Boomboom is right and don't think you won't have kids like that simply because your school has a good rating. Especially at the elementary age those kids are all throughout schools and they're scary even at age 8. My mom just retired as a 3-5 Principal and says she would never send a kid to public if at all possible. It was routine at that age level for kids to be talking about Fvcking each other up the ass, wanting to hold a girl down and rape her. These are not isolated incidents and it was not a low performing school.
Call me an a snob but I think at a private school I have less chance of my kids being exposed to horrific sexuality and language at an early age than in public school.
hee hee - you've clearly not been inside an all boys high school. My husband went to Jesuit Prep (private, catholic, in Dallas) and their senior t-shirt had the logo on the front and the back said "Roll 'em, Smoke 'em, GO BIG J!" And that was just the t-shirt. The stories I hear when those boys get together....

I find it interesting that the main points in this discussion are the excellence of the school/quality of education, crime, and money....and not the type of education. I clicked "private" because I want alternative schooling. The public schools are fine here (Willow Glen) but nationally the money for arts is being slashed and I find that unacceptable. My children will go to the school that provides the environment in which they will thrive (structure-wise, and - when they're older - focus - like a magnate school) as well as one that offers art, music, theater, physical education in ways that aren't afterthoughts or in danger of being cut.

I'm not thinking about high school age students because we all know that by that point there is a lot that is far beyond parental control. I do think that in a private elementary school a kid is less likely to be exposed to kids that are talking about sexual experiences far beyond what should be their level of exposure. I'm going with the thought that less wealthy parents are watching porn with their 9 year olds, that there is a huge difference between high school kids using drugs and elementary students using drugs ect.

I am totally with you on the main aspect being education appropriate for my child. I wanted Andrew in pre-school last fall and I'm still having the hardest time ever finding a pre-school that actually educates in a fun way instead of thinking that "learning through play" simply means that you let kids run free and wild and they learn everything they need to know ::::sigh:::

bb_n_jp · May 2011

Celyn:
Neither all public schools nor all private schools are created equal. If moeny were no object I'd have my kids in the best school availalbe, whether it was public or private.

This exactly. Which is why I'm researching my tail off right now trying to figure out what our options are, and I'll go in debt up to my eyeballs if it means doing the best thing for my boys.

I went to private, non-religious school for 12 years because the college rate in our rural Ohio area was less than 10% at the public school. Without it, I wouldn't have had nearly the opportunities that I did. I just want my boys to be able to choose what they want in life, and to learn about more than just what's on a test.

fricksgirl · May 2011

I'll chime in from my lunchbreak from my desk at a private, non-religious elementary school!

I think Celyn's got it right on the nose. I also think it is not a fair or accurate result to say "if money were no object". It ios an object, and the quality of school varies so, so much.

I spent 10 years working in public school. Comparing it now to what it was even when we were growing up is apples and oranges. I cannot stress that enough- it is SO different.

For us, our choice was a result of the economy- when we bought our house 6 years ago- it was supposed to be our "starter" house. We were supposed to be there for 4, maybe 5 years and then move on up to a bigger house, better district, etc. We were CERTAIN we would have SO much equity it wouldn't be a problem... we were also advised as such by many, many financial professionals. Ha!

There is no way under God's green Earth I would send my kids to the public school in my neigborhood. Also no way I could afford to pay private tuition. So I changed jobs, and I was fortunate enough that my own talents made it possible for me to get my kids in private school with a tuition break.

And I'll tell you- this place is like the Disneyland of learning. My kids here have OVERWHELMINGLY more chances, options, exposure to things than even my top of the crop GATE students did in public school. It's sad, really. But I'm glad my kids will receive it, I won't lie.

Touchy issue and interesting responses.

leverby · May 2011

I voted public, but I wouldn't hesitiate to "buy into" the best kind of school possible.. in terms of education, extracurricular and how "ideal' the student population is... if that means buying into a nicer district or a Pvt school, thats what I would do if money were no object.

f&s2006 · May 2011

RozieGirl:
f&s2006:
Of course, my caveat is that if P gets into an elementary school waayyyyyy across town we may choose to put him in private just for our sanity - the way SFUSD does school placement is a bit insane, and I just don't think I could take spending half my day dropping off and picking up my child. (up to 40min each way, worst case scenario)

From what I have been hearing and from talking to other parents at J's preschool, that is no longer the case. SFUSD has changed and they are now placing your child at one of your top 3 choices in or around your neighborhood.

Rozie - That is good to know. I've been hearing that they are planning more changes in the upcoming years, as I think many parents are tired of the lottery system, but we will see what it's like when P is ready for school -- I'm hoping for the best, ie. that he gets into the elementary school that is literally across the street from us (call me lazy!!)

m&m818 · May 2011

Celyn:
Neither all public schools nor all private schools are created equal. If moeny were no object I'd have my kids in the best school availalbe, whether it was public or private.

Ditto this. It was a really tough question to answer. I went to a public school but my DH went to a private school in our hometown. The LAUSD school I went to had many gang, drug, bullying, etc... heck we even had a small student-home-made- bomb go off my junior year. But somehow I didn't fall into those crowds, took honors and AP classes, graduated with good grades and we had quite a few students who went to Harvard and Yale. I felt I got a much better education than I would have at the private school, and now seeing how little my husband actually knows about the basics I assume you learn in middle school, its pretty obvious education was not their focus.

Now, all that said, my brother went to the same public school I did and fell into the drug crowd and dropped out. So to take what Teri said a step further, I think it also depends on your child and what environment they will thrive in.

But at the end of the day, the perfect situation for me would to be a have a child who can thrive in public education, and a public school that aligns with our values (education, parent participation, sports, college prep etc) because at the end of the day your taxes are already paying for them no matter what.

danandkelly · May 2011

2bearichards:

MrsJulieT:
I was going to say that I think for the most part, the results of this poll will somewhat coincide with where people live or what school district they are zoned for.

I agree with Julie also. But we also chose our neighborhood based on how good the public schools in the area were.

Pretty much this.

megan0071234 · May 2011

DS currently attends a fabulous Charter school and I hope DD will be able to attend one of their schools. He has PE every day, gardening, science camps, history hands on learning, etc. They also are very big on character building and being a good human in general, which I really like. The teachers have gone out of their way to help him learn the way that he learns best, and have not tried to force him in a box. He didnt get any of those things at the public school he was in before & they were good schools.

I also went to private Catholic HS in the bay area & so did DH (same one). Freshman year a bunch of kids got expelled for smoking pot down the street. By the time we were seniors, coke and sex parties were all the rage with the really rich & popular sporty types. They did give us a good quality education, and I am happy I went there, but I know the realities of the rich kids in HS.

Also, I went to private elementary with a very small class. I hated it. I was not popular and there was no chance to get away from the girls that tormented me every day. I begged my parents to let me go to public school- Eisenhower in Cupertino district, a super good school. They refused & I still don't fully forgive them for my issues that I had while going there.

soon2Bkranz · May 2011

I say private but it really depends on the private school.

I taught at both public and private and attended only private schools (and made good money dealing there

But of course there is the tradeoff..Schools like St Nicholas in Los Altos Hills is a very small private school. SO truthfully there arent the same level of problems there. Just easier to control I think. BUT the enrollment is down so the whole "kicking them out" idea isnt really true anymore. But Argonaut school in Saratoga had much the same feeling as St Nicks...

High school is a whole nother ball of wax. I know a lot about Valley Christian....MItty and St Francis since my siblings teach/athletic directors of those schools.

I care about things like uniforms...extras...religion and teachers...

Here in Gilroy I am going to try for the charter...if not that go for a inter-distict transfer to a school that does uniforms and duel immersion.

Valley Christian would be our #1 choice though since they do k-12...but I would worry about my kids "sticking out" because many of the kids there are very very well off

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