Removing mother from FB

Mrssjb · May 2011

Has anyone deleted their mother as a friend on Facebook? I sorely need to. This past weekend was just the last straw. I woke up early on Mothers day to a slew of text messages and FB messages from family, friends, and co workers wishing me a happy mothers day! so before mass I quickly shot off a "thank you to all the family, work, and friend moms who wished me a happy day and I wish it right back!" message since I knew I wouldn't be home for a few more hours and didn't want people to think they were being ignored. Well after Mass and breakfast and errands (laundry, market etc) DH and I finally get home around 4 and I called my mom w/in a half hour and she is cold as ice to me. I go over the next day to give her a present and I find out from my lil bro and his gf that she was storming all yesterday about how I didn;t specifically mention her in my FB status and was talking *** about me. I have noticed her slippin in conversations a few times that she basically facebook stalks me and comments on things I say to other people. She never even said happy mothers day to me and I went and blew $90 on some stupid coldwater creek shawl/sweater for her first Grandmothers day gift. Even my MIL sent me a card...

My mom and I have always been rocky. Tells me how she never planned on having me or wanting me. How my dad and I are buddies cause we're both assholes. I don't want to give a laundry list of 27 years of hurt but well even DH wants me to lie to her to avoid her at all costs cause she is hell bent on making me feel like ***. I need to delete her so she will just have less amunition against me..... any ideas?

11kacey · May 2011

Why are you friends on fb with your mother in the first place? My mom and my MIL are on FB but we are not 'friends'.

I think you should ignore her behavior and let it go.

She's upset. She probably saw a bunch of other daughters thanking their moms o fb and wishing them a happy mother's day and feels left out that you didn't make it a point to write something on her wall. Ridiculous, I know.

sophabelle · May 2011

you can change your privacy settings so she can't see your wall or your posts... i had to do that with MIL. defriending would cause too much drama for me.

sparty611 · May 2011

I think our moms just might be the same person. The day I told her she was going to be a grandma, she told me to 'have a nice life, it was nice knowing you'. Ignored me for about 2 months, has yet to ask me any baby related questions. Just last week, I was talking to one of the neighbors (I live close to where my parents do), and she offered to babysit if I ever needed a sitter because my mom was telling her that she didnt want to babysit her own grandchild.

The whole situation sucks, but I dont feed into her games and try not to let her get to me. I would probably delete her from FB just to cut back on some of the drama.

justme04 · May 2011

Just do it! Then change your FB settings so she can't search for you...and then lie and tell her you just got sick of FB and deleted your entire account. I would make sure to fill in other family and friends your mom might talk to just so they don't slip and say that you posted the best thing on facebook.

I dont have this problem with my mother. But I do have a couple of cousin's who love to think that I didn't work for anything I have who facebook stalked me and I have deleted them. Before I graduated college they said something like it must be nice to not have to work your way through school...they shut up when I told them I worked 2 jobs my entire college career!

TyrinM03 · May 2011

I would...she sounds like a peach...

heysupnatalie · May 2011

My mom and I are close and we are friends on facebook, but in the beginning she was only allowed to see certain things on my page. You could always change the settings if you are afraid to totally cut her off. Tell her you just changed your page or something if she asks. Obviously other people might see stuff and mention it to her but what else can ya do? [:/] My mom is a facebook whore-it's her nickname, but she's never been like that. She's always on it though because shes busy connecting with HER friends. Not me so much. On mother's day I didn't say anything to her on facebook because I was with her IN REAL LIFE. I guess you going to see your mom just doesn't do enough for her. Sorry, that sucks Sad

mari_gold · May 2011

Mrssjb:

My mom and I have always been rocky. Tells me how she never planned on having me or wanting me. How my dad and I are buddies cause we're both assholes. I don't want to give a laundry list of 27 years of hurt but well even DH wants me to lie to her to avoid her at all costs cause she is hell bent on making me feel like ***. I need to delete her so she will just have less amunition against me..... any ideas?

I wouldn't delete my mom over the Mother's Day Facebook incident, but this stuff? Yeah. I wouldn't want someone who deliberately tries to hurt me in my life, whether or not she was involved in my conception.

I'm sorry, that really sucks. Do whatever will make YOU feel better.

chillyupnorth · May 2011

I think some people lose all common sense when it comes to facebook. I would just ignore it and change your privacy settings. One of DH's aunts called to b!tch me out the day we announced this pregnancy on fb because she thought she was the last to know and we should have called her before telling anyone else, other than our parents. Whatevs. People are dumb sometimes.

WorkingMomofTwo · May 2011

I would delete her. I deleted mine after many failed attemps on trying to make things work. My mother and I have never had a good relationship at all and I completely can relate to you. Screw her and delete her. You did something nice for her for moms day and all she cares about is stupid FB? Someone needs to grow up... not you.

pettycrocker · May 2011

If you want to delete her, I don't think you really need any of us to press the button for you. I would delete my mother in a HB if she was acting crazy on public forums, no remorse.

Really if it's bothering you that much, then you probably should just avoid her entirely - you don't need the stress.

kelsgreeneyes · May 2011

My mother also FB stalks me. haha We had a huge fight over it a few weeks ago and havent really talked since. She feels the need to tell me what I should and shouldnt say on FB and will often hound me to take certain statuses off. I have since blocked her from my wall and posts but she can still see pictures I post. That can be a possibility for you! Online life was a lot less stressful before she discovered FB! Stick out tongue

Ivana_Stolichnaya · May 2011

Limit her access to everything. Block her from seeing pictures, your friends list, your comments, your wall...everything.

I would also have a meeting with her and ask her, WTF? and to knock it off or you will cut her.

If you're at the end of your rope and don't give a shlt then go ahead and cut her, who needs that bullshit?

Mrssjb · May 2011

sophabelle:
you can change your privacy settings so she can't see your wall or your posts... i had to do that with MIL. defriending would cause too much drama for me.

How do i do this? I figure I'll just do that to all my fam...but I'm kind of a pc moron here and have no clue how to do that

aimeecasey · May 2011

Mrssjb:
sophabelle:
you can change your privacy settings so she can't see your wall or your posts... i had to do that with MIL. defriending would cause too much drama for me.

How do i do this? I figure I'll just do that to all my fam...but I'm kind of a pc moron here and have no clue how to do that

"account" (top right)
"privacy settings"
"custom settings" (at the bottom)
There will be a long list of things you can set. I have all of mine set to "friends only" so no else can search me and see just anything. If you click on the gray boxes to the right, click "custom", at the bottom of the box will be "hide this from" and an area you can type people's names in.

I hope that helps!

M&M227 · May 2011

I would defriend her but be prepared that she will be upset. My mom is also so annoying on facebook. She's constantly tagging herself in my photos that she's not even in just so they'll show up on her page. No if you want to show someone my picture go onto my page and find it and show them. That's all.

JennV514 · May 2011

Old people do not understand Facebook. They think it's real life. Like PPs said, block her.

Mrssjb · May 2011

I have made it so that she, my aunts (all her bf's from highschool), my cousins etc cannot access my wall. Thanks for the advice. I figured it was best to avoid a blow up and just let them all think nobody can see my wall at all aymore. I have 21 days left and I want to avoid as much drama as I can until my lil man comes out

michellesumpter · May 2011

Just delete her. Once a month I go through and delete folks that I either have little or no contact with or who seem to be annoying. My MIL deleted me, my husband, my father and brother (my mom is not on FB) because she said she got tired of seeing pictures of my daughter with her other grandparents. Sometimes to save face and not drive yourself crazy you need to cut your losses and click delete.

CagleBaby · May 2011

sophabelle:
you can change your privacy settings so she can't see your wall or your posts... i had to do that with MIL. defriending would cause too much drama for me.

I did this with my mom. I have it to where she is my friend, but can't see any pictures or make any of her stupid comments on anything of mine.

damabo80 · May 2011

Whoa. If you don't want to delete her (as that may stoke the fires), you can limit her access. In other words, make it so that she can't see posts on your wall. Pretty much, she just sees a dumb-ed down version of your FB page.

But honestly, it sounds like you have bigger issues with her than whether or not to delete her from FB.I would really think about limiting your contact with her. It doesn't sound like she brings anything positive to the relationship.

Mrssjb · May 2011

Limiting contact w/ my mother has been an issue for quite a while. Trust me DH and I try to have as little to do w/ her and her mess of crazy possible. It just is hard w/ family events, holidays, and the fact that we are very close w/ my lil bro and my dad. When I'm done w/ school we are thinking about moving at least 3 hours away

NativeFloridian · May 2011

Delete her. She won't even know, it's not like it notifies her, lol.

I tend to keep my more dramatic family members off of my friends list, and for the ones who are tolerable I still put them in a group with restrictions on what they can see/comment on. Family and Facebook are kind of a bad combo.

scorpiomom2005 · May 2011

My mom facebook stalks me, my brother, my sister, my husband, my friends, my inlaws, everyone. She doesn't work and basically sits at the computer all day long. Even if she's watching tv, she's watching it from her computer chairs so she doesn't miss a single thing. I've contemplated deleting her too, but since she lives on the same block and watches my son after school it'd cause too much drama so I basically live with it, delete her comments when uncalled for, and call her out on inappropriate cyberspace talk.

UK-Margie · May 2011

Mrssjb:
Has anyone deleted their mother as a friend on Facebook? I sorely need to. This past weekend was just the last straw. I woke up early on Mothers day to a slew of text messages and FB messages from family, friends, and co workers wishing me a happy mothers day! so before mass I quickly shot off a "thank you to all the family, work, and friend moms who wished me a happy day and I wish it right back!" message since I knew I wouldn't be home for a few more hours and didn't want people to think they were being ignored. Well after Mass and breakfast and errands (laundry, market etc) DH and I finally get home around 4 and I called my mom w/in a half hour and she is cold as ice to me. I go over the next day to give her a present and I find out from my lil bro and his gf that she was storming all yesterday about how I didn;t specifically mention her in my FB status and was talking *** about me. I have noticed her slippin in conversations a few times that she basically facebook stalks me and comments on things I say to other people. She never even said happy mothers day to me and I went and blew $90 on some stupid coldwater creek shawl/sweater for her first Grandmothers day gift. Even my MIL sent me a card...
My mom and I have always been rocky. Tells me how she never planned on having me or wanting me. How my dad and I are buddies cause we're both assholes. I don't want to give a laundry list of 27 years of hurt but well even DH wants me to lie to her to avoid her at all costs cause she is hell bent on making me feel like ***. I need to delete her so she will just have less amunition against me..... any ideas?

Well change your privacy settings and remove her access to things...knowing what she is like you also might want to just always start by thinking crazy thoughts upon waking on major holidays and then send her FB updates based on what those crazy thoughts give you as feedback.

Good luck.

kewltif · May 2011

11kacey:
Why are you friends on fb with your mother in the first place? My mom and my MIL are on FB but we are not 'friends'.
I think you should ignore her behavior and let it go.
She's upset. She probably saw a bunch of other daughters thanking their moms o fb and wishing them a happy mother's day and feels left out that you didn't make it a point to write something on her wall. Ridiculous, I know.

Why is it weird that they are facebook friends? I have all of my relatives as friends on facebook. I'm not 16 years old and trying to hide my life from my mom anymore, lol.

I agree with everyone who said that deleting her will just fuel the fire. Up your privacy settings and she'll be none the wiser.

Want a personalized experience?

Removing mother from FB

Re: Removing mother from FB

Choose Another Board

Search Boards