My husband and I moved away from our home town about 4 years ago. People back home have been so supportive and we have had numerous offers from dear friends to thow us a shower back home. We have 2 showers happening there for family and friends. But where we live now (~5 hours away) no one has offered to throw us a shower. I don't want to be selfish, but the birth of our first baby is something I want to celebrate with our new friends here. Do you think that they've just over-looked the fact that I'm not having a shower? Is it appropriate to ask someone from church or work to throw me one?
Re: "Will you throw me a shower?"
Two showers isn't enough? Really?
If you want to celebrate your baby, AFTER it is born, have a "meet the baby" party that is acutally about the BABY.
Showers are gift giving occasions and it's HIGHLY tacky to ask for one, and there are PLENTY of other ways to "celebrate" other than having people give you gifts.
Obviously, having a baby is a HUGE deal in your life. But to force others to celebrate this milestone.... it's a bit ego-centric, to be honest.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I would just do a "meet the baby" party after dc is born. ?It is beyond rude to ask someone to throw you a shower. ?
We aren't having a shower in the new town we moved to but we are doing a "meet the baby" party. ?Once a month a group of us get together for game night anyway so I offered to host it in March. ?Then everyone can see the baby and after she falls asleep we can play games and hang out. ??
Yeah I agree with all the pp's, it is completely wrong and rude to ask for a THIRD shower just because it's close to your home. I think it's very selfish, and very rude, if I knew the guest of honor asked for the shower I was invited to attend, I would flatly refuse.
I think 2 showers is plenty.
Well, we're adopting and not having any showers. We're coping fine, and buying what we need for our baby. Friends and family have mentioned that they'd like to give us a "Meet & Greet" type shower after the baby is here. I look forward to that . . . not for the gifts, but for the joy we'll have to share with those we love.
Sorry, but just be grateful for what you have . . . and enjoy the two showers that have been offered.
AGREED!!!
Do as this poster advises and you won't have too many friends to worry about in your new locale.
The idea of throwing your own shower gives me the vapors....
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Um. Wow.
I'm guessing the people here assume that you have closer friends/family back home who will shower you back there.
It is super-tacky to ask for a shower. Graciously accept the TWO showers others are throwing you in your hometown and be happy. Your new friends will almost certainly celebrate with you when the baby's born, since they'll be in the area.
"Do you think that they've just over-looked the fact that I'm not having a shower?" NO -- they assume you're having a shower at home.
OR they assume you're a selfish brat and wouldn't want to throw you a shower.
You deserve flames for this post.
whah whah.
If you had any friends, they'd be throwing you a shower, no?
I don't think anyone here would want to be your friend knowing how selfish you are. Even if you don't expect gifts, you would still ask someone to throw you a party? It still makes you sound incredibly self-centered.
Mostly, I was just asking to get input. I guess the definition of "shower" went over my head as I am not expecting gifts, but rather a celebration
And you got input! From what you asked, it comes across as VERY selfish. Sorry - but it does.
And I still contend- even asking people to throw a celebration for you is a bit presumptuous. Yes, I personally like and WANT to celebrate milestones in my friends lives. However, when it comes to people expecting others to celebrate their life - it just rubs me wrong. It's YOUR life. Not theirs.
Your friends MAY want to celebrate and once the baby comes, they may do just that in a way that works for THEM. But throwing you a party may not be how they go about it. And ASKING for a party really is over the top.
If you want to celebrate the BABY, after he/she is born, YOU can throw a little "meet the baby" party. People dont' have to do this for you.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Geesh that is really self centered and come on, your definition of "shower" was not misinterpretted. Everyone in the english speaking language knows that a shower means to shower with gifts..So do not play coy.
I personally will not be having a shower when I have a baby because all of my family and friends on both my and dh's side of the family all live 1000 miles away. I do not expect nor will ask or hint towards such a thing with the people I work with. If they choose to buy a gift when I have my child then that is a blessing. Otherwise, I will be getting everything I need for my child on my own and I do not expect anyone to "shower" me once let alone 3 times.
Sorry, but ditto everything that was said. Don't mean to be awful to you, but this is definitely not ok to do.
If you throw a "meet the baby" get together I think that is fine, but I would personally go as far as telling people not to bring gifts. I wouldn't want any of my guests to get the wrong idea that I was throwing a baby shower for myself. tacky, tacky, tacky
I would add your local friends to the invite list back home included them in one of those showers....u never know they may decided to take a road trip or opt not to and plan a get together for you at home.
HTH
It is unwise to throw your own shower and it is unwise for YOU to ask a friend to host one. You can however ask your Mom or MIL to ask a friend (one that you are very close to) to host a shower in your area...especially if your Mom picks up the tab. If you don't feel comfortable doing that then just have a "meet the baby party". I had a shower for my 2nd baby (unheard of in my area) and my friend threw it for me. We were new to the area and the church. She invited the whole congregation plus my family. There were probably about 30 people there (mostly my family). Once the baby was born we received soooooo many gifts from church members (probably about 40 or more). You might want to just hold off and have your showers in your old hometown and celebrate with your friends and church family after the baby is born.
The other pp had a good idea as well. Just have friends invited to one of your showers back in your home town. So..it's 500 miles. Maybe a bunch will get together and make a week-end out of it. Or...it might light a fire under one of them and get them thinking about hosting a shower.