Baby Showers

"Will you throw me a shower?"

My husband and I moved away from our home town about 4 years ago. People back home have been so supportive and we have had numerous offers from dear friends to thow us a shower back home. We have 2 showers happening there for family and friends. But where we live now (~5 hours away) no one has offered to throw us a shower. I don't want to be selfish, but the birth of our first baby is something I want to celebrate with our new friends here. Do you think that they've just over-looked the fact that I'm not having a shower? Is it appropriate to ask someone from church or work to throw me one?

Re: "Will you throw me a shower?"

  • I don't think it's ever appropriate to ask someone to throw you a shower.  Since you are having two showers at home, I wouldn't be concerned about not having one where you live now.  You could always host a get together yourself but it shouldn't be like a shower.
    DD#1 4/3/2008 TTC in 2012
  • Two showers isn't enough?  Really? 

    If you want to celebrate your baby, AFTER it is born, have a "meet the baby" party that is acutally about the BABY.

    Showers are gift giving occasions and it's HIGHLY tacky to ask for one, and there are PLENTY of other ways to "celebrate" other than having people give you gifts.

    Obviously, having a baby is a HUGE deal in your life.  But to force others to celebrate this milestone....  it's a bit ego-centric, to be honest.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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  • Ditto EastCoastBride on everything.  I couldn't have said it better.
  • I would just do a "meet the baby" party after dc is born. ?It is beyond rude to ask someone to throw you a shower. ?

    We aren't having a shower in the new town we moved to but we are doing a "meet the baby" party. ?Once a month a group of us get together for game night anyway so I offered to host it in March. ?Then everyone can see the baby and after she falls asleep we can play games and hang out. ??

    imageimage
  • Definitely don't ask for one - that's pretty tacky.
  • Not appropriate at all.  Not to flame, but you sound very selfish.  You're already having 2 showers, you need another one?
  • Yeah I agree with all the pp's, it is completely wrong and rude to ask for a THIRD shower just because it's close to your home.  I think it's very selfish, and very rude, if I knew the guest of honor asked for the shower I was invited to attend, I would flatly refuse.

    I think 2 showers is plenty.

  • Well, we're adopting and not having any showers.  We're coping fine, and buying what we need for our baby.  Friends and family have mentioned that they'd like to give us a "Meet & Greet" type shower after the baby is here.  I look forward to that . . . not for the gifts, but for the joy we'll have to share with those we love. 

     Sorry, but just be grateful for what you have . . . and enjoy the two showers that have been offered.

  • imageCashewsMom:

    Yeah I agree with all the pp's, it is completely wrong and rude to ask for a THIRD shower just because it's close to your home.  I think it's very selfish, and very rude, if I knew the guest of honor asked for the shower I was invited to attend, I would flatly refuse.

    I think 2 showers is plenty.

    AGREED!!!

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Just throw one yourself. I don't think it's a big deal. Everyone expects you to have a shower, but people usually don't think about offering to throw it.
  • imagejustgnat:
    Just throw one yourself. I don't think it's a big deal. Everyone expects you to have a shower, but people usually don't think about offering to throw it.

     

    Do as this poster advises and you won't have too many friends to worry about in your new locale.

    The idea of throwing your own shower gives me the vapors....

  • imagejustgnat:
    Just throw one yourself. I don't think it's a big deal. Everyone expects you to have a shower, but people usually don't think about offering to throw it.
    For the love of.... do NOT do this.  You do NOT throw yourself a party where you're EXPECTING to get gifts.  That's even tackier than asking someone to throw one for you.
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • For the love of GOD, don't ask someone to throw you a shower and do not throw one yourself...unless you want everyone talking about what a weirdo you are behind your back.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • its very inappropriate to even think to ask someone to throw you a shower. ?enjoy the 2 that you are getting back at home.



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  • Um. Wow.

    I'm guessing the people here assume that you have closer friends/family back home who will shower you back there.

    It is super-tacky to ask for a shower.  Graciously accept the TWO showers others are throwing you in your hometown and be happy.  Your new friends will almost certainly celebrate with you when the baby's born, since they'll be in the area.

    "Do you think that they've just over-looked the fact that I'm not having a shower?"  NO -- they assume you're having a shower at home.

    OR they assume you're a selfish brat and wouldn't want to throw you a shower.

    You deserve flames for this post.

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • you can't throw yourself a shower or ask people to have one for you.
  • Wow, you guys are harsh. Mostly, I was just asking to get input. I guess the definition of "shower" went over my head as I am not expecting gifts, but rather a celebration. The fact that so many of you want to throw "flames" at me makes me glad we're not friends.
  • imagemrslefebvre07:
    Wow, you guys are harsh. Mostly, I was just asking to get input. I guess the definition of "shower" went over my head as I am not expecting gifts, but rather a celebration. The fact that so many of you want to throw "flames" at me makes me glad we're not friends.

     

    whah whah.

    If you had any friends, they'd be throwing you a shower, no?

  • imagemrslefebvre07:
    Wow, you guys are harsh. Mostly, I was just asking to get input. I guess the definition of "shower" went over my head as I am not expecting gifts, but rather a celebration. The fact that so many of you want to throw "flames" at me makes me glad we're not friends.

     

    I don't think anyone here would want to be your friend knowing how selfish you are.  Even if you don't expect gifts, you would still ask someone to throw you a party?  It still makes you sound incredibly self-centered. 

  • Geez, people on here are harsh....first of all, I wouldn't ask someone to throw me a shower, because I do think that it is a little tacky....but I can see how you can feel as if your new friends and church members are not really excited for your baby....that being said, they have probably heard about your other showers from you or by word of mouth, so they may just think you do not want or need another one with them...if you were a friend of mine, I personally wouldnt care if you were having 2 showers back home, I would want to give you one with your newest friends as well, it has nothing to do with gifts, its about celebrating the baby....my family and friends are all mixed together, so I would have just 1 shower that involves all of them, but if I had friends in a new place, then I would want to celebrate it with them as well.....all in all I do not think that you are selfish, it was an honest question that everybody decided to rag on...GL with the rest of your pregnancy:)
  • Mostly, I was just asking to get input. I guess the definition of "shower" went over my head as I am not expecting gifts, but rather a celebration

    And you got input!  From what you asked, it comes across as VERY selfish. Sorry - but it does. 

    And I still contend- even asking people to throw a celebration for you is a bit presumptuous.  Yes, I personally like and WANT to celebrate milestones in my friends lives.  However, when it comes to people expecting others to celebrate their life - it just rubs me wrong.  It's YOUR life.  Not theirs.

    Your friends MAY want to celebrate and once the baby comes, they may do just that in a way that works for THEM.  But throwing you a party may not be how they go about it. And ASKING for a party really is over the top.

    If you want to celebrate the BABY, after he/she is born, YOU can throw a little "meet the baby" party.  People dont' have to do this for you.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • Geesh that is really self centered and come on, your definition of "shower" was not misinterpretted. Everyone in the english speaking language knows that a shower means to shower with gifts..So do not play coy.

    I personally will not be having a shower when I have a baby because all of my family and friends on both my and dh's side of the family all live 1000 miles away.  I do not expect nor will ask or hint towards such a thing with the people I work with.  If they choose to buy a gift when I have my child then that is a blessing.  Otherwise, I will be getting everything I need for my child on my own and I do not expect anyone to "shower" me once let alone 3 times.

  • Sorry, but ditto everything that was said. Don't mean to be awful to you, but this is definitely not ok to do.

    If you throw a "meet the baby" get together I think that is fine, but I would personally go as far as telling people not to bring gifts. I wouldn't want any of my guests to get the wrong idea that I was throwing a baby shower for myself. tacky, tacky, tacky

     

    BabyFruit Ticker, Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • I would add your local friends to the invite list back home included them in one of those showers....u never know they may decided to take a road trip or opt not to and plan a get together for you at home.

     HTH

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  • It is unwise to throw your own shower and it is unwise for YOU to ask a friend to host one.  You can however ask your Mom or MIL to ask a friend (one that you are very close to) to host a shower in your area...especially if your Mom picks up the tab.  If you don't feel comfortable doing that then just have a "meet the baby party".  I had a shower for my 2nd baby (unheard of in my area) and my friend threw it for me.  We were new to the area and the church.  She invited the whole congregation plus my family.  There were probably about 30 people there (mostly my family).  Once the baby was born we received soooooo many gifts from church members (probably about 40 or more).  You might want to just hold off and have your showers in your old hometown and celebrate with your friends and church family after the baby is born.

    The other pp had a good idea as well.  Just have friends invited to one of your showers back in your home town.  So..it's 500 miles.  Maybe a bunch will get together and make a week-end out of it.  Or...it might light a fire under one of them and get  them thinking about hosting a shower. 

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