Brother cheating with a friend? LONG

cjdanielson · May 2011

Ill try to make this long story short... My childhood friend (since 4th grade, stood up in my wedding) was getting friendly with my brother. Never had sex but fooled around/kissed/sent dirty pics (the thought of my brother doing that in the first place is GROSS let alone with a "friend") When all this happened my SIL called me and told me. She needed to get away- they live out of state. So she came to my house for the weekend. Bro and SIL are going through counselling and doing great. Bro and I have talked and all is well. I agree cheating isnt a good thing and everyone has their own opinions but whatever.

Well, my "friend" has not once said anything to me text/call/fb etc... NOTHING. its been about 5 mos at least. Well tonight I noticed shes not on my fb anymore- she over posts and there were none... she blocked me. OK no big deal.

I sent her a text basically saying she must have made her choice and have a good life. And that the only thing Ill regret is taht she stood up in my wedding and Im the one that introduced her to my bro and SIL. She texts back. After not speaking since all this happened about how he cheated too, its not one sided, she feel for his "Sweet talk" and became "a dumb girl" blah blah blah I said a true friend would have not tried to screw around with her friends brother and ruin a marriage. And when all was said and done that once everyone found out she should have reacehd out to me and said something about her side of the story-- am I wrong?

If youve read this is alot of babbling but it all comes down to I was really pissed at my brother but weve talked about it and smoothed things over and things are going good between him and SIL. This friend hasnt ONCE tried to say anything no sorry, no explanation, nothing in 5 months and then just defriends on fb... really. Am I wrong to still be pissed that she didnt at least say something to me as a friend?

Kate621 · May 2011

I wouldn't be able to be friends with someone who had done that, especially with my brother. I'd say you are better off without her in your life.

neferhathor · May 2011

i think you have a right to be pissed off, but if i were you, i'd just try to stay the hellz out of this situation. i'm sorry this happened to your family. ((hugs))

write2nicole · May 2011

Kate621:
I wouldn't be able to be friends with someone who had done that, especially with my brother. I'd say you are better off without her in your life.

This. Also, it sounds like you have a friendship with your SIL, if she stayed with you after all that happened. I would think it would be awkward for you to maintain that tie to the other woman.

neferhathor · May 2011

Kate621:
I wouldn't be able to be friends with someone who had done that, especially with my brother. I'd say you are better off without her in your life.

i think this also

cjdanielson · May 2011

Im just so pissed because shes basically saying Im the one that should have called and tried to mend our relationship... um I didnt do anything wrong. Were not in freaking high school anymore. UGH! GEEZ!

Rach7170 · May 2011

I honestly would have deleted her from facebook before all of this. She slept with a member of your family. Not cool and I wouldn't have even emailed her about blocking you at all. Cut ties. I don't care what the excuses are or if she is a good person, defriend her and be done!

write2nicole · May 2011

cjdanielson:
Im just so pissed because shes basically saying Im the one that should have called and tried to mend our relationship... um I didnt do anything wrong. Were not in freaking high school anymore. UGH! GEEZ!

Obviously she doesn't know the rules of appropriate behavior. She was fooling around with a married man, who happened to be her good friend's brother. I would expect to see other inappropriate behavior, like blaming other people for her mistakes.

cjdanielson · May 2011

write2nicole:
Kate621:
I wouldn't be able to be friends with someone who had done that, especially with my brother. I'd say you are better off without her in your life.
This. Also, it sounds like you have a friendship with your SIL, if she stayed with you after all that happened. I would think it would be awkward for you to maintain that tie to the other woman.

agreed. I just dont understand regardless of whatever my brother had said to her. And knowing her... shes the one that started it because she always complains about her 50 year old husband (Were 27). How hes so old not going to be able to give her babies and sleeps all the time... Uh heres an idea find a younger husband instead of a sugar daddy dummy! Dont try to break up a family. I dont think anything will make our friendship better.

I guess Im just hurt because we were great friends for a long time and we have a group of 4 of us that will never be able to be friends again... time to move on... *sigh*

Soter1 · May 2011

I am sure it is hard to lose a life long friend like that. Your alliance lies with your brother and SIL though. If my SIL was still friends with someone that hooked up with my DH I would straight up hate her. Seems like you are better off now, and no, you are not wrong. What she did was not cool. Even if you forgave her, I feel that your relationship with your SIL whether it's good or bad, is the priority. Sorry that you were put in that situation.

happyhoopla · May 2011

cjdanielson:
Im just so pissed because shes basically saying Im the one that should have called and tried to mend our relationship... um I didnt do anything wrong. Were not in freaking high school anymore. UGH! GEEZ!

That would be frustrating, but I wouldn't be too much stock into what she feels is right vs. wrong. Cut ties with her. Since your brother and SIL are working things out, continuing to have a friendship with this woman can't do anything positive for your family.

cjdanielson · May 2011

write2nicole:
cjdanielson:
Im just so pissed because shes basically saying Im the one that should have called and tried to mend our relationship... um I didnt do anything wrong. Were not in freaking high school anymore. UGH! GEEZ!
Obviously she doesn't know the rules of appropriate behavior. She was fooling around with a married man, who happened to be her good friend's brother. I would expect to see other inappropriate behavior, like blaming other people for her mistakes.

AMEN! she does that all.the.time. since we were little.

cjdanielson · May 2011

happyhoopla:

That would be frustrating, but I wouldn't be too much stock into what she feels is right vs. wrong. Cut ties with her. Since your brother and SIL are working things out, continuing to have a friendship with this woman can't do anything positive for your family.

very true

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