sitting here feeling guilty :(

eturp · May 2011

It's 3 am and I broke down and am feeding DS his first bottle of formula ever Sad

I don't know what's going on but for the past two nights once bedtime rolls around he just can't seem to get full. And again I don't know why because I can pump 8oz easily in one try in the afternoon but I think part of the problem is that he isn't getting enough from me. I have no clue why I am drying up just at night??

Anyways, DH and I have been trying to get DS to sleep since 8:30 and he has done nothing but fight it (because he is hungry) so I caved and made a bottle of formula for him. I feel so guilty for giving it to him, like my body is failing him Sad I'm so scared this will be the first of many bottles and that it is only a matter of time before he is completely FF. Despite a few minor blips EBFing has been going great for us, I really enjoy it and want to continue. I really hope this will be an isolated incident Tongue Tied

Magical95 · May 2011

Could be a growth spurt or maybe he just wanted to suck?

mrsbmw09 · May 2011

Magical95:
Could be a growth spurt or maybe he just wanted to suck?

This is exactly what I was thinking too.

I know it's frustrating and tiring, but try to stick with it and just let him stay on the breast as long as he wants, that's what will build your supply. I'm sure it will pass in a few days. Can you nurse while laying in bed? That's what I would do.

rac20585 · May 2011

I was unable to breastfeed longer than a few days after DS was born. The doctors actually insisted that I give him formula because I was so stubborn about it. I felt so guilty and I was so disappointed that my plans to EBF did not work out. I cried about it for days and felt pangs of sadness every time I gave him a bottle. My pediatrician assured me that I was actually doing what was best for him, and that all babies are different. Some are better off with breast milk only, some are fine with just formula, and some like to have both! As long as you are doing what is best for your child, he will be just fine. It's wonderful that you have been able to EBF up until now!

eturp · May 2011

mrsbmw09:
Magical95:
Could be a growth spurt or maybe he just wanted to suck?

This is exactly what I was thinking too.

I know it's frustrating and tiring, but try to stick with it and just let him stay on the breast as long as he wants, that's what will build your supply. I'm sure it will pass in a few days. Can you nurse while laying in bed? That's what I would do.

The problem was he wasn't getting anything and was getting frustrated and screaming/crying because of it. Not to mention my nips were getting so irritated from him trying so hard and not getting anything Sad

amy259 · May 2011

Maybe it's something else, him being fussy? Also, at bedtime my LO wants to eat every hour from 5:30 to 9:30pm. Have you tried holding him like you're nursing and give him a pacifier? Maybe he just wants to comfort nurse and be close to you? I'm sorry mama hang in there. Did you post on the BF board? The ladies over there are nice and may have more insight.

Phil&Corinna · May 2011

Although my plans to EBF didn't go accordingly, DS is still getting some breast milk each day. I 100% agree with pp's who suggest leaving him on the breast as long as he wants to suck. HOWEVER, do not feel guilty about one bottle. For us, we introduced it too early (not by choice, but I was on meds so I couldn't BF) at about 2weeks PP, and now he wants nothing to do with BFing - and pumping is a PITA. I fully believe you can still BF 95% of the time and supplement with formula occasionally. I would put LO to breast to feed first though, and then supplement, or your supply will deminish as you know, it is supply and demand. I had a hard time deciding to quit pumping but I feel it's the right decision for our family. If this is what makes your LO full, and sleepy so Mommy can sleep too, I think it's worth it!!

Shelynla · May 2011

I started supplementing with formula a week ago after trying everything to increase my supply. My LO was eating every two hours, but as the day went on, he became less and less satisfied after every feeding. It turned out that he wasn't getting enough, so now I feel guilty for not supplementing sooner.

One of my biggest fears, and the reason I held off on giving him formula for two months, was that I was afraid that I would just abandon nursing and start giving him formula all the time. But I ENJOY nursing him (as I'm sure you enjoy nursing your DS) and he enjoys it too, whether for food or comfort, and I don't want to take that away from him. So even though he does get a few bottles (only after I've nursed him), I am still BFing 6-8 times every day.

Your body is not failing him. You are still his primary source of nourishment and one bottle of formula hasn't changed that!

veggybugg · May 2011

rac20585:
I was unable to breastfeed longer than a few days after DS was born. The doctors actually insisted that I give him formula because I was so stubborn about it. I felt so guilty and I was so disappointed that my plans to EBF did not work out. I cried about it for days and felt pangs of sadness every time I gave him a bottle. My pediatrician assured me that I was actually doing what was best for him, and that all babies are different. Some are better off with breast milk only, some are fine with just formula, and some like to have both! As long as you are doing what is best for your child, he will be just fine. It's wonderful that you have been able to EBF up until now!

This. I am finding Annalise wants both. Most of the time its only a half ounce of formula and i always feed her after I nurse. If she is still chewing on her fists, rooting, and spitting out her paci I would be a bad mommy to leave her hungry.

I nurse her for 45 min tops but I am having supply issues as well. My mom said she had similar issues when breast feeding.

cedgar778 · May 2011

Gosh, don't be so hard on yourself! You are giving him formula, not poison! It's nothing to feel guilty about - you are feeding him, not starving him! Plus, like everyone else said, you can still BF and just supplement with formula. Wouldn't you rather have him be full and comfy/satisfied then insist on exclusively BFing? Hang in there!

homelyauthor · May 2011

I've been having to supplement with formula since about the 2nd week. I've been having problems with supply, so in order for LO to get enough nutrition, we finish every BFeeding with however much formula he needs to not be hungry anymore. We're up to almost 4 ozs of formula after each feeding. I too feel bad not being able to provide all that he needs through BFing, but I have to tell myself that formula is basically powdered milk with added nutrients, not something bad. With how things are going, even with my milk supply increasing, he's just so hungry that it's looking like we may be supplementing him with formula until he's no longer BFing.

nicolenjoli · May 2011

I felt the same way- In the hospital about the 3rd day he had an aspiration scare that sent him to the nicu for 2 nights- down there the DR. wanted him to have formula to make sure he was able to eat and digest etc... when we got home I only breast fed him but on about 3.5 weeks he was still hungry and I broke down and gave him formula to fill him up. Since then I have been breastfeeding him about 5 of the feedings and formula feeding the 2 night time feedings- I have been mostly pumping but since yesturday I am having a hard time pumping 4 oz! Im only getting 3- I don't know what is going on but I'm hoping it goes back up- I am concerned about when he wants 5 oz. - how am I going to make that much- they say the more you do it the more milk youll make but I haven't seen that work for me- I've been feeding him every 3 hours since he was days old??? I will give him BM until I just dont have anymore to give- As for the formula I am giving him organic formula made from organic milk so that makes me feel a little better : ]

TXmum · May 2011

homelyauthor:
I've been having to supplement with formula since about the 2nd week. I've been having problems with supply, so in order for LO to get enough nutrition, we finish every BFeeding with however much formula he needs to not be hungry anymore. We're up to almost 4 ozs of formula after each feeding. I too feel bad not being able to provide all that he needs through BFing, but I have to tell myself that formula is basically powdered milk with added nutrients, not something bad. With how things are going, even with my milk supply increasing, he's just so hungry that it's looking like we may be supplementing him with formula until he's no longer BFing.

I could have written this myself. My LO just wasn't gaining weight like he should, and took until 4 weeks to get back to his birth weight. I cried the first time we gave him formula. I actually had it sitting out on the counter for several days and just stared at it until I finally broke down and fed it to him. He was so much happier after. We thought he had colic. Turns out he was just hungry. I still BF first, and supplement AFTER BF'ing. I feel like he's getting as much from me as he can, and then I'm giving him what he needs and I can't provide afterwards. Hang in there - it gets easier. And it is an opportunity for DH to have some of the closeness and bonding of feeding too.

LynsiBHM · May 2011

I had the exact same breakdown the other night. I was crying just as hard as he was becuase I felt like I failed him as a mother by not having enough BM to fill him up. I've given him 2 bottles of formula so far and I cried through both feedings.

Have you tried pumping after morning/daytime feedings? I have been, and although I don't get much, it seems to be helping my supply- and then I have an extra ounce (or however much I could manage to pump) to supplement during those nightime feedings when he's so frustrated and needs a bit more.

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