MIL's Smoking
AggieBeth06
member
DS was born at 34 weeks on New Year's Day. We were blessed that he was only in the NICU for 8 days - for TTN and lung immaturity.
He's doing great - EBF like a champ and gaining weight well (from 5 lbs 13 oz to ~14 lbs).
We were planning on taking our first family roadtrip this weekend and now that it is here, I'm freaking out.
We were planning on staying with MIL, but I am trying to decide whether or not I should trust my gut. MIL "occasionally" smokes in the house. I'm not sure what "occasionally" means, but it's enough to have stained the carpet, walls and door jams.
Knowing that dust and pet dander bother DS (he's stuffy in our room, where the cats lounge but he breathes clear in his room), I'm scared that he is going to have a bad reaction to MIL's nasty habit.
MIL is touchy and it would spark a major fight if we didn't stay with her, but IMHO, we should not be made to feel guilty for her poor decisions. We have to make the best decision for our immediate family. I'm just not sure if it's worth risking DS having a potential reaction. Part of me says to stay tomorrow night and see how it goes - find a hotel room if he gets stuffy. Part of me says he's probably going to be stuffy anyway, so it's best to ensure we can find a hotel room.
WWYD?
T&P for you and your LO's... I know our story is not near as complicated as it could be. 
PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.
PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix
All Welcome
Re: MIL's Smoking
Our little one's are still in the NICU but have some serious lung issues. We've been cautioned that whenever possible visitors that smoke should shower first, not smoke, and wash their hands good before dealing with the babies.
If you already know that your LO has issues with some enviromental factors, I would not risk it. Better to be the bad guy and have a healthy happy baby.
This. Her potentially hurt feelings are NOTHING compared to the health of your son. I know there are nutty people out there, but hopefully she would get over being offended for the health and safety of her GRANDCHILD.
And ugh, if it stained the carpets, I wouldn't want DD crawling around her house. Gross.
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
I agree 100%, I wouldn't be comfortable with any child of mine being exposed to smoke like that, regardless of gestational age at birth.
Hey Beth!
I don't know what I would do. If her 'occasional' smoke stains the carpet, it's more common than she lets on.
Can you make an excuse about how DS is waking up more in the middle of the night and you don't want to bother them...that's why you're getting a hotel?
DD is 3.5 years old now (but was a 1 lb 11 oz 28 weeker at birth in the NICU for 88 days). MIL smokes and does smoke in her apartment. She claims that she airs it out before we get there, but I know that is total bunk. She doesn't believe that it is a problem and has no idea why we are so concerned (look how so and so turned out and they were brought up in a house with smoke, etc.). We do not let her baby sit DD in her apartment and it upsets her terribly. When we go over there for dinner, we try not to stay too long and we change our clothes imediately upon returning home. Everything she gifts to DD reeks. There is a bag of Easter stuff (toys, etc.) still outside on our back porch right now airing out. Not only will you all be breathing the second hand smoke the whole time you are there, but your bags, your clothes, everything you take in her place will be soaking it up. The pillos and sheets will have socked it up as well. I personally wouldn't b able to breathe on a pillow at night in a house that had been smoked in. I can't imagine letting DD do it.
My vote is for getting a hotel room and trying to spend as much time as possible outside or at other locations.
Smoking enough to stain the carpets is a lot of smoking. I know this b/c I used to smoke.
Its better to be safe than sorry. I have been taking care of a sick baby for over a week and it is hard. He feels awful and I feel for him. Not to mention the amount of energy you spend trying to keep them comfortable. Do everything in your power to keep him healthy!
My aunt came to visit recently and lit up in our backyard while he was outside. I had just told her earlier he had bronchitis. I couldn't believe it! I just promptly took him inside.
I couldn't agree more! Also, I dont see what the point of making excuses and lying is. I know that it might be the easy way out, and I guess I can see that being the way to go if you only see her occasionally. But if youre going to be visiting her home often, maybe its better just to tell her the truth. Definitely have your DH leading the conversation, since its his mother, and present a united front to her. I think this will make sure that whenever you visit her in the future, you dont have to keep up with the excuses - that might become tiresome for you guys.