MIL's Smoking — The Bump
Preemies

MIL's Smoking

DS was born at 34 weeks on New Year's Day. We were blessed that he was only in the NICU for 8 days - for TTN and lung immaturity.

He's doing great - EBF like a champ and gaining weight well (from 5 lbs 13 oz to ~14 lbs). 

We were planning on taking our first family roadtrip this weekend and now that it is here, I'm freaking out. 

We were planning on staying with MIL, but I am trying to decide whether or not I should trust my gut. MIL "occasionally" smokes in the house. I'm not sure what "occasionally" means, but it's enough to have stained the carpet, walls and door jams. 

Knowing that dust and pet dander bother DS (he's stuffy in our room, where the cats lounge but he breathes clear in his room), I'm scared that he is going to have a bad reaction to MIL's nasty habit. 

MIL is touchy and it would spark a major fight if we didn't stay with her, but IMHO, we should not be made to feel guilty for her poor decisions. We have to make the best decision for our immediate family. I'm just not sure if it's worth risking DS having a potential reaction. Part of me says to stay tomorrow night and see how it goes - find a hotel room if he gets stuffy. Part of me says he's probably going to be stuffy anyway, so it's best to ensure we can find a hotel room.

WWYD?

T&P for you and your LO's... I know our story is not near as complicated as it could be. <3


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PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.

PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix

All Welcome

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Re: MIL's Smoking

  • Our little one's are still in the NICU but have some serious lung issues. We've been cautioned that whenever possible visitors that smoke should shower first, not smoke, and wash their hands good before dealing with the babies.

    If you already know that your LO has issues with some enviromental factors, I would not risk it. Better to be the bad guy and have a healthy happy baby.

    TTC #1 since 4/2007... MFI (low motility/low Testosterone) & PCOS IVF #1 August 2010...BFP 1st sono shows TWINS!!!! Due May 23rd 2011 Ruptured @ 21 weeks (Jan 13) Delivered 26 weekers (Blake and Addison) on Valentine's Day... Keeping faith and praying, God has a plan and we just have to learn to follow. Our Blog ... ourvalentinesdaysurprise.blogspot.com Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • image AggieBeth06:

    We were planning on staying with MIL, but I am trying to decide whether or not I should trust my gut. MIL "occasionally" smokes in the house. I'm not sure what "occasionally" means, but it's enough to have stained the carpet, walls and door jams. 

    Knowing that dust and pet dander bother DS (he's stuffy in our room, where the cats lounge but he breathes clear in his room), I'm scared that he is going to have a bad reaction to MIL's nasty habit. 

    MIL is touchy and it would spark a major fight if we didn't stay with her, but IMHO, we should not be made to feel guilty for her poor decisions. We have to make the best decision for our immediate family. I'm just not sure if it's worth risking DS having a potential reaction. Part of me says to stay tomorrow night and see how it goes - find a hotel room if he gets stuffy. Part of me says he's probably going to be stuffy anyway, so it's best to ensure we can find a hotel room.

    This.  Her potentially hurt feelings are NOTHING compared to the health of your son.  I know there are nutty people out there, but hopefully she would get over being offended for the health and safety of her GRANDCHILD.  

    And ugh, if it stained the carpets, I wouldn't want DD crawling around her house.  Gross.

    BFP(1) DD1 born 4.17.10 @ 33w5d due to pPROM
    BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM

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  • image BostonKisses2:
    You're totally right that you need to think about your son and possible reactions.  I would personally find a hotel room for the entire stay, because I wouldn't want Judith exposed to something like that (and she definitely can't be exposed now because of the CF).  Like PP said, I think your son's health is more important than your MIL's possible hurt feelings, and that's pretty gross if it's staining the carpets and walls.  GL, and I hope you all can have a good visit regardless of where you stay!

     

    I agree 100%, I wouldn't be comfortable with any child of mine being exposed to smoke like that, regardless of gestational age at birth.   

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • Hey Beth!

    I don't know what I would do. If her 'occasional' smoke stains the carpet, it's more common than she lets on.

    Can you make an excuse about how DS is waking up more in the middle of the night and you don't want to bother them...that's why you're getting a hotel?

    Anniversary

    Belly Bug <3 BFP June 11th, 2010 missed m/c July 7th, 2010<br>
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  • DD is 3.5 years old now (but was a 1 lb 11 oz 28 weeker at birth in the NICU for 88 days).  MIL smokes and does smoke in her apartment.  She claims that she airs it out before we get there, but I know that is total bunk.  She doesn't believe that it is a problem and has no idea why we are so concerned (look how so and so turned out and they were brought up in a house with smoke, etc.).  We do not let her baby sit DD in her apartment and it upsets her terribly.  When we go over there for dinner, we try not to stay too long and we change our clothes imediately upon returning home.  Everything she gifts to DD reeks.  There is a bag of Easter stuff (toys, etc.) still outside on our back porch right now airing out.  Not only will you all be breathing the second hand smoke the whole time you are there, but your bags, your clothes, everything you take in her place will be soaking it up.  The pillos and sheets will have socked it up as well.  I personally wouldn't b able to breathe on a pillow at night in a house that had been smoked in.  I can't imagine letting DD do it.

    My vote is for getting a hotel room and trying to spend as much time as possible outside or at other locations.

  • Smoking enough to stain the carpets is a lot of smoking. I know this b/c I used to smoke.

    Its better to be safe than sorry. I have been taking care of a sick baby for over a week and it is hard. He feels awful and I feel for him. Not to mention the amount of energy you spend trying to keep them comfortable. Do everything in your power to keep him healthy!

    My aunt came to visit recently and lit up in our backyard while he was outside. I had just told her earlier he had bronchitis.  I couldn't believe it! I just promptly took him inside.

     

    image Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • There is absolutely NO way I would ever stay in the home of someone who smoked, even occasionally, with my little boy.  He has chronic lung disease and is on oxygen, but you know what, even if he were a full-term, healthy baby... I would still not stay with someone who smoked, family or not.  I think you could use the doctors as an excuse.  You could say that your son's doctor recommends that you avoid second hand smoke.  Even though he had a pretty quick NICU stay, he was still a preemie.  And if he gets stuffy from pets, I wouldn't want to risk second hand smoke. 
    TTC with unexplained IF since 8/2007 6 losses, one beautiful perfect boy in our arms Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • I absolutely would not stay at her house.  Period. 
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  • Tell her you asked your pedi and he said you couldn't stay in a house with a smoker. Sometimes lying is a good thing!
  • image FutureMrsDenman:

    DD is 3.5 years old now (but was a 1 lb 11 oz 28 weeker at birth in the NICU for 88 days).  MIL smokes and does smoke in her apartment.  She claims that she airs it out before we get there, but I know that is total bunk.  She doesn't believe that it is a problem and has no idea why we are so concerned (look how so and so turned out and they were brought up in a house with smoke, etc.).  We do not let her baby sit DD in her apartment and it upsets her terribly.  When we go over there for dinner, we try not to stay too long and we change our clothes imediately upon returning home.  Everything she gifts to DD reeks.  There is a bag of Easter stuff (toys, etc.) still outside on our back porch right now airing out.  Not only will you all be breathing the second hand smoke the whole time you are there, but your bags, your clothes, everything you take in her place will be soaking it up.  The pillos and sheets will have socked it up as well.  I personally wouldn't b able to breathe on a pillow at night in a house that had been smoked in.  I can't imagine letting DD do it.

    My vote is for getting a hotel room and trying to spend as much time as possible outside or at other locations.

     

    I couldn't agree more! Also, I dont see what the point of making excuses and lying is. I know that it might be the easy way out, and I guess I can see that being the way to go if you only see her occasionally. But if youre going to be visiting her home often, maybe its better just to tell her the truth. Definitely have your DH leading the conversation, since its his mother, and present a united front to her.  I think this will make sure that whenever you visit her in the future, you dont have to keep up with the excuses - that might become tiresome for you guys.

    BabyFruit Ticker

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