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November 2011 Moms
FFFC
I think you should pass a test to be a parent. I have worked retail all my life and the things that I have seen have truly frightened me about some of the people that reproduce (mother shopping while her child is outside running in the parking lot type things)
With that being said, I know Im not going to be the perfect parent. I know that some day my child will get hurt or get into something and I will just feel awful. But supervising your kids in a public place, having them buckled in a carseat, and changing their diapers on a regular basis seem to be pretty common sense things to me (and fail a decent portion of the mothers I see in my area)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FFFC
This scares me to death. I tell my husband all the time that this is a one shot deal. Every decision we make affects the person our child becomes. There is no rewind button and no do overs so we have to make every moment count.
Yesterday my mom and I were talking about the twins and she told me that she's not sure that she can handle taking care of two newborns at once. So I said fine, that I would either hire a nanny or put them in daycare. She threw a fit on me saying that daycare was evil (I totally disagree - I think daycare is a GREAT thing for kids) and that if I hired a nanny, she and the Nanny could care for the kids together. I told her that was stupid because if I hired someone to care for the kids, they could care for the kids on their own because people do it all the time.
I think that although twins will be challenging, it won't be any harder than caring for a newborn and a 1 or 2 year old, which my mom has done for years - she took care of all three of my sister's kids (they were all born 2 years apart) until they went to school. So last night I made the decision that although I would love for family to be able to care for my kids, I am going to either put them in daycare or find a nanny to come in while MH and I work because I'd rather do that then listen to my mom complain every day that my kids are too hard to handle.
You ladies made me tear up - stupid hormones! But it's so true and it's something that after being a parent for 18 months now I sometimes forget or get lax about. But I need to remember I am raising this little girl to become a woman someday and I need to make sure I always keep that in mind!
We always remind each other that its about "right now." Make the most of this very moment because its all that you have. I know a lot of parents that spent so much time preparing for their childs future that they missed their childhood. But my grandma pretty much raised me and everything was about "right now" and what we could do right then and there to make a memory. I cooked dinner with her every night, we had picnics year round, we had slumber parties, spa days, and tea parties, we did cancer walks, trick-or-treat for unicef.... but every moment she used to spend time with me and teach me life lessons on how to be a great person. Thats how we hope to raise our kids into great adults- by raising them as great kids first.
Thanks for the previous comment as well, but regarding the crying OMG. I am NOT a crier at all, but everything the last couple days gets me teared up. If I had watched the wedding, it would have been a mess.
I was too - but during Kate's ride there, and the entrance. Standing in the LR, workout clothes on, crying for 10 min. First time I've cried in months, and that triggered it, wow. Felt good to cry though!
I think that people say this too lightly. Do you truly think this or are you just saying it?
If you are truly saying it, and actually think this-like you stated-do you realize how scary that thought is? And where does it stop? There are hundreds of thousands of people with PhDs, MDs, PharmDs, EdDs, etc in this country. What if they were the only ones allowed to have children? Would you still qualify to be a parent? I wouldn't. What about the people who would advocate that only beautiful people should have children because they are less likely to be bullied?
I think my H and I are going to be awesome parents. But we don't have our doctorates. And while I think we are hot, we aren't on the level of like celebrities or anything. So we wouldn't get to have kids.
If you are saying, "no, just test for common sense stuff!" ....again, where is the cut off? AAP says to leave your child in a FF car seat until they are 2 now....but if my child has anxiety about car rides and is miserable, and FF would help him, but he's only 1.5.....what if I failed that question? Is it common sense to spank or not spank your child when shes been bad? ...Who gets to decide who gets to reproduce?
Its a terrifying idea. Or maybe I've just read too much dystopian fiction.
my mom lives in florida and usually flies up one weekend a month to visit. she's coming in today and i haven't seen her since february. i'm excited to see her, but i can't help but feel she's secretly enjoying the fact that i'm no longer the "skinny one". i've always felt she makes things out to be a competition between.. she's only 46 and barely looks 35.
we're both petite and can usually wear the same size clothes. while i'm thankful she passed on good genes, i can't help but feel a little insecure around her.. especially now that i've sporting a baby bump & my boobs look like something out of national geographic and she's still rocking 6 pack abs & wearing size 2 jeans.
i am so superstitious about this pregnancy that I can't bring myself to buy or plan anything until the second trimester. Then I read the Young House Love birth story and realize things can go wrong up to the very last minute, which freaked me out even more! I hope I'm not going to be such a paranoid mom (but I'm starting to think that's going to be hard to avoid).
I love YHL...Clara's birth story did freak me out, but they are such cute parents and I love the pictures of her with Burger.
This is why I schedule my doctor's appointments for 8 AM! No time to worry, only barely enough time to get ready! lol
My friend posted on FB that she wants a shirt that says:
1. June
2. Boy
3. No we don't need advice on names.
She can get one! I plan on ordering mine June 4th after I find out the sex!
https://www.etsy.com/listing/57233574/any-more-questions-funny-custom?ref=sr_list_1&ga_search_query=maternity+shirt+questions&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
I haven't purchased one single item for myself or baby until we go for our appointment next week and see that LO's ok. DH keeps saying it'll be fine but I won't allow myself to relax until I know.
My confession: We are so not doing well financially, and it makes me angry at my husband. The plan was to wait for babies until I graduated from business school and started working full-time again, but surprise! Now I'm terrified.
DH has his own business as a home improvement contractor, and, honestly, he sucks at being an owner. I go to business school, I've been a manager, and he will absolutely not listen to me about basic business principles. He under-prices his jobs, and IMO, just does not understand money at all. I try to give him advice and even do his bookkeeping and he says I'm nagging him. He does beautiful work and his customers love him, but it's not getting him anywhere. I'm trying my best to be supportive and helpful, but I want to just tell him to give it up, get a job, and stop trying to "be his own boss". I think it's selfish and the only reason he even wants to do this is so no one else can tell him what to do. Well, guess what, you always have a boss, even when it's a customer. (Or your wife, haha!)
I love the man, I really do, but his stubbornness and immaturity makes me feel like I'm dealing with a child sometimes. I just really hope he realizes on his own soon that this isn't working, because when I say anything I'm just being a nag.
Phew, thanks for letting me vent!
Well I have one that will definitely get me flamed...but your right there hasn't been anything "juicy" yet so here goes...
I would love to know what percentage of pregnant teenagers never had the sex talk with their parents or were taught abstinence only. I fully plan on teaching my kids before middle school (if they are mature enough for it) about sex and the reprocussions of having it unprotected. When they do decide to become sexually active I will make sure they know their options of where to get birth control/condoms even if they don't feel comfortable telling us.
I think that is truly the best way to prevent teenage pregnancy...flame away.
My poor husband...I've been feeling so bad this whole pregnancy, so far, and except for one hand job, we haven't had sex once.
My poor husband. He's cooking, cleaning, serving me meals in bed, handling my garden, cleaning my cats' litter box, he's doing it all. And I can't even give him sex. I'd love to do so - or even help around the house. It's so frustrating to feel so bad so much of the time.
Maybe in Vegas I can get it together and give him a good....
The only sex talk I had was in school and they taught abstinance. I wasn't sexually active till 18 but I am not the norm. I was just terrified of it, lol.
I have a friend that is due 2 weeks after me. I hate it. I hate that she's always giving me "advice"; I hate that she can't talk about anything besides babies now; I hate that she thinks anything I want to do regarding babies/birth (natural child birth, cloth diapers, etc.) is wrong and that I'll eventually come to her for advice when (her words, not mine) I decide to do things her way; I hate that we're both in a mutual friend's wedding (in November) and she has lost all interest in our friend and her wedding and can only think/talk about herself and her baby.
I tried to be really nice and make her some hand made burp cloths. She took them said "thanks" set them aside (without even looking at or touching them) and started talking about herself again. ::sigh::
I 100% agree with you. DH & I both had open communication with our parents about sex, and are completely healthy and happy in all sexual regards. Realistically our children will not be virgins until marriage, and hopefully they will explore their sexuality in a healthy (emotional and physical) way!
,,,locates the nearest fire extinguisher....
I don't think education is it at all. But in my occupation I see way too many children in seriously dangerous situations that could have been prevented if CPS got involved (Ive called the cops many times and gotten CPS involved myself and Im not afraid to admit it) At my previous employer (a rather large department store) there was a lady in there all the time with her 7 year old non verbal autistic child. She would be in the back of the store shopping and he would be running through the parking lot towards a major road. Her son actually knows me because I was the only person in the store comfortable communicating with him. So we would sit on the bench outside playing until the police arrived to talk to his mother about child safety. Last week there was a toddler that tried to run out of the doors following a ball that he had thrown into the parking lotat my current retailer (its a small store but I still believe in keeping an eye on your child) and another mother stopped him and sent her older child to get the ball all while watching him and making sure there was no traffic. The toddlers mother.... in the back of her store on her cell phone completely unaware that her child came very close to getting seriously injured. Last time I drove to Chicago I saw a toddler walking around in the backseat of the car, with the parent driving on the shoulder in a construction zone.
So perhaps I think people shouldnt be afraid to get CPS involved more, or in some way advocate more for the safety and education of children. (But I also live in an area where child abuse and neglect are very common as most children are the result of unwanted and unplanned pregnancy and there is a very big taboo on adoption in this area. So kids that dont want kids are stuck raising them and they dont have the knowledge to be good parents. The HS still teaches an abstinence only program, to 15 year olds, and a good 30% of them are already parents, so the education, at least here, needs to start at a younger age)
The U.S. did this in the 1920's. It made it so a lot of people from other countries were labeled mentally defective and sterilized as the test was only given in English.
I know how you feel. It's the worst time of the year for the nonprofit world, too (all that end of year, last minute giving). My co-workers can handle it without me and I know I won't give it a second thought once my babe is finally here.