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April 2011 Moms
AnjaO
member
Help! 41 weeks and being guilted about induction (long, sorry)
AnjaO
member
I'm so upset and don't know what to do. I had my 41 week appointment today. Ultrasound and NST show everything's great (though of course my little guy decided to take a nap during the NST so it took a while to make sure things were good), but the OB I saw today was unsupportive of my decision not to be induced until 42 weeks. He just said, "Well, did they tell you why we induce at 41 weeks?" and then just kept saying "It's all about the health of the baby." He was dismissive of the fact that my ovulation date was almost a week later than indicated by my LMP and, when I said that first time pregnancies often go past 41 weeks, he told me that wasn't true. All that being said, he didn't try to get me to schedule an induction or anything (I'm set up for another NST Thursday). And I have made absolutely no progress since last week. I figured out my own Bishop score, and I'm about a 3. Not so good for induction. Plus, I asked him what medications they use for cervix ripening, and of course when I got home and looked it up, it's the controversial Cytotec.
So I called DH after my appointment to tell him about all of this and he got really angry with me, saying I have a combative relationship with my doctors (he's only been to a two appointments with me, and this is really the only thing I've ever disagreed with them on... plus the OB I saw last week was fine with my decision). He says they're the experts and I'm being selfish and putting the baby's health at risk just because I don't want a c-section. He also apparently thinks I've been brainwashed by my bosses (as chiropractors, they take a very natural approach to things and had their daughter at a birthing center, which he thinks is unsafe, but that's another conversation...). All I'm trying to do is advocate for myself and my child, and from everything that I've read, it is perfectly safe to wait until 42 weeks as long as the placenta is working properly, etc. And of course, it's a lot safer and lower risk of needing interventions if my body goes into labor on its own.
Everyone except my mother and MIL think I'm crazy for not wanting to be induced, and now my OB and DH are guilting me about it. So am I wrong, should I see if I can set up an induction ASAP, or am I right about waiting another week in the hopes of things moving along naturally???
BFP #1 8/14/10, DS born 4/30/11
BFP #2 9/30/12, M/C 10/23/12
BFP #3 12/16/12, CP 12/20/12
BFP #4 1/20/13, DD born 10/9/13
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Re: Help! 41 weeks and being guilted about induction (long, sorry)
eek - that's a tough call. just keep in mind that this baby is DH's as well, it's not all just up to you (i mean that in the nicest possible way) i think you should have a non heated discussion with DH and tell him your reasons why and hear his reasons why or why not
my thought is as long as baby is healthy and there is no medical reason for induction then i'm sure it's fine but just take DH's opinion into the mix.
it may or may not be up to the Dr's or nurses
This. I hope you and your DH can find a compromise you both feel comfortable with. Can you help educate your DH about the reasons you've chosen to wait?
I had my dd a day before my due date and she had also had a BM inside me-she was not sick, as they suctioned her as soon as her head came out (before I could push her the rest of the way out and before she could take a breath). My BIL also had a BM and he was several weeks early, so I wouldn't let this sway my decision, but I agree with you that at the end of the day, it's her decision.
I've explained my reasons for waiting to DH before. I encouraged him to do his own research, but he said you can find support for any argument (which is obviously true). I told him to look up something neutral, but he just got mad at me. Ironically, both he and his sister were both born 13 days past their due dates.
I know this is his baby, too, and of course his opinion matters or it wouldn't be so hard for me right now. I just wish he'd have something to back up his opinion besides my OB's standard practice being induction at 41 weeks. I'm sure if I'd picked another practice (I picked this one just because of location when we moved here), they might have a different policy. And it sounds like the OBs at this practice all have different viewpoints on things.
I'm sorry you went through this today. I also had my NST today and LO was doing great. My dr. brought up induction-saw my face and said we'll discuss it at next Monday's appt but if you have a headache, feel dizzy, swell or notice baby not moving much-call me immediately-i don't care what hour it is. DH came to the appt. to hear all this.
I was zero dilated and 60% effaced.
How big is your practice? Are you going to see a dr at your NST on Thursday? Maybe you can try to arrange an appt with the dr. that supports you.
Unfortunately, he's apparently the only doctor (out of 8) working that day (not sure how that happened...).
I'm telling DH he needs to come with me to this appointment so he can see that I'm not being antagonistic to the Dr. He still refuses to do any of his own research and says that if that's what the doctors usually do, it must be the right thing. I feel like I'm just going to end up giving in. And then I'll probably get mad at him if things don't go well with the induction.
Darn you baby, come out already!
I'm 40 weeks, 3 days today...and I had a doc in my practice today tell me that after I had a growth ultrasound and a nonstress test, we were going to "discuss my options" for a possible induction or waiting a while. He proceeded to call up to labor and delivery as I was still hooked up doing the nonstress test and told the nurse to tell me that he wanted to schedule an induction for tonight. ?!?! This was right after the ultrasound that showed that my little guy is just fine and that there's plenty of fluid in there for him to hang out in...and he's not a 9 pounder at this point; they estimated him around 7ish pounds. The NST also had good results.
I was so ticked off that he decided to do what he wanted with my body and baby without even consulting me about it and without any medical emergency, especially since I'm only 3 days past my due date...so I told them that I didn't want that doc to have anything to do with me from this point on and made another appointment for later in the week with another doc in the practice.
Oh my goodness! That's ridiculous! I would have flipped out. So much for a non-stress test, right?
I think I would have lost it had this happened to me today! I already prepped DH that if anything like this happened, it would not be pretty. I refused to bring my bags so I would have an excuse to leave and not come back.
I am totally in agreement with you and support your stance 100%. I am in a similar boat - my OB hasn't delivered a baby naturally at more than 41 weeks in "years" he said. He encouraged/started discussing induction at 39 weeks, but has respected my decision to wait it out. At 40 weeks I still have a completely closed cervix with no progress in weeks. We've agreed to wait until 42 weeks for me as long as baby is doing okay in the meantime. The hospital also only uses cytotec, which I am have strong views against and will not allow it to be used on me. I asked my doctor yesterday at my weekly appointment to look into ordering cervadil (although he says he hasn't used it in over 10 years) specifically for me. I also discussed with him some alternative approaches on induction (not breaking water, if we use pitocin on a closed cervix (because i refuse cytotec) maybe we will have some better results if we do it over a course of several days (start/stop pitocin drip approach), etc. He wasn't loving me for wanting to do things soooo far out of the box for what their routine is - but he respects my desire NOT to have a c-section. I really, really, REALLY do not want a c-section. I would prefer not to have induction drugs at all -but I'm agreeable to them if they're reasonable and would *help* me avoid a c-section (many of the methods actually increase the risk of c-section in my opinion).
My husband has been antsy with waiting - worried about the baby, waiting, etc....but has finally resolved to waiting and allowing me to know what is best for *MY* body. Yes, it's his baby, too - but it's MY body that will be put through the trauma to ge HIS baby here. He knows I would never put our child at risk intentionally - and fortunately he trusts my judgement in knowing whats right for US.
Hope you have lots of progress soon~! Try not to worry and hopefully things will just fall into place for you and your family soon!