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2nd Trimester
anyone out there with kids that have cats?
My DH and I have been together for 5 years now, and he had this cat before we even met. He refuses to get rid of her (even though he barely pays attn to the cat) saying he can't give her up. So anyway, I would like to ideally get rid of the cat before the child gets here, bc I worry about the cat crawling in the crib and smothering the baby and naything else related to cats and babies. Am I crazy for wanting to get rid of the cat or is it not that big of deal with babies and cats? I just worry - and he refused. I did tell him, if there is any problem once the baby arrives there is no doubt the cat will be gone.
thanks for the advice.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: anyone out there with kids that have cats?
We had two cats when my DD was born and the cats pretty much ignored her. Before she arrived, they would try and sneak into the already set up baby crib but once she was born, they wanted nothing to do with her.
We have a cat now and I am not concerned at all about her smothering the new baby. She is very friendly, but she knows where she can and cannot go. Also, if we don't want her to go somewhere we just keep the door shut.
Our 3 Precious Angels That Left Us Too Soon
BFP #2-EDD 07/05/13 - Tater and Tot passed at 12w3d. D&C 1/17/13
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All Alers Welcome!
Hopefully this will happen! You all make it seem like I shouldn't have a huge issue (which is a great thing). Thanks for all the advice!
That is an old wives tale...that's like saying you need to get rid of the family dog too.
I have a cat...and she is actually not a cat for kids...so I am scared about that aspect. She bites and keeps to herself a lot. However, she is very loving, and we've had her since she was a baby...will be 4 in August. I refuse to get rid of her just because we got pregnant. She is part of the family. I hate when people get a pet and then dump them later on. ( I know a lot of those ppl).
I think you will be fine keeping the cat. Our nursery is actually our cat's current room. Its our spare room with huge windows where she spends her time bird watching. All of her toys and things are in there. This past weekend we moved everything out of there..its an empty room. We still let her have access to the windows...but her toys are now in the living room..and I shut the closet where she slept. I moved her blanket to our closet so she can still sleep in the dark...she loves closets. We are trying to slowly get her used to the idea that that room will no longer be hers.
I also heard that to make it easier on your pet..dog or cat...when you feed the baby at all hours of the day...give your pet a treat..so they don't become jealous of the baby. I am willing to try everything to keep her. My husband is like you...he wants to get rid of her before the baby comes..he is scared she'll hurt the baby. I am hoping we can make things work!
Good luck with everything!
Personally... I think this is a crazy question... The fears are a bit irrational and honestly you can shut doors. I do not understand why people who have pets cannot be responsible pet owners and parents at the same time... Just because you are having a child does not mean you have to find a home for your animals...Animals living with kids provide good experiences and such...
We have a dog that is very protective and right now we are trying to figure out how we are going to deal with her and wonder how she will be with our LO... We hope that she will be just as protective of LO but not to the point people can't come to our house... We have no worries with our cats. It is not like we will ever leave our child unsupervised with the pets...DH and i were actually joking the other day how the cats will probably have more fun with the activity mats than our LO will.
Why would you get rid of your cat? That's kind of ridiculous.
My cat and my DS are best buddies. He pays the most attention to her, pats her the most, and she adores him. She never once jumped in his crib - although we keep his door shut at night - and has scratched him exactly once in two years (and he deserved it). I can't imagine not having her!
We have a cat that we got almost 9 years ago...we'd never dream of giving him up! There's just no truth to the idea that you need to get rid of cats in preparation for babies. Cats and babies have co-existed for centuries. I've heard of the fear of cats smothering babies, but I've also heard that this is an urban legend and that it's never actually happened (and if you think I'm wrong about this, feel free to prove me wrong). If you're truly concerned, you can buy crib nets that will keep your cat from getting into the crib:
https://www.amazon.com/Tots-Mind-Cozy-Crib-White/dp/B00014PLAY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1303749810&sr=8-1
Frankly, you're crazy for wanting to get rid of the cat if you're doing it for the reasons you say (smothering the baby?! I haven't even heard of that one). It sounds like you just don't like cats and weren't on the same page when you got pregnant, and are now trying to use the baby's pending arrival to get rid of your DH's cat.
There are plenty of options to make sure you feel safe having a pet around a baby--keeping baby's door closed when baby's sleeping is a good first step. Google for other ideas.
We have two cats, and have had them since they were little babies (5 weeks). They're now 8 and as much a part of our family as this baby will be. Our cats have (and will continue to have) free reign of our home, since it's their home too. But with any pet, you need to make sure the pet is respecting the boundaries you're comfortable with in relation to the baby.
We'll always remember our angel baby: BFP 9/24/10, M/C 10/23/10 8w4d
We have 2 cats that we've had since they were kittens. They'll be 5 years old this summer. There is no way I would considering getting rid of them. As people have said the nursey door can be closed to keep the cats out. We actually got our LO's furniture a couple weeks ago and had to move the cats stuff out of the room they were using since this will be the nursery. We have started not letting our cats in this room so they learn its not their anymore. And so far they have been fine. I have no fears what so ever about how they will be with the baby. In fact, I think they will be scared of her at first. I'm sure the cat will do just fine when the baby comes.
No reason at all to get rid of your cat. My cats were fine w/ DS. They didn't want anything to do w/ him b/c he'd cry, not to mention when DS went to sleep i just shut the nursery door. No big deal.
::stops lurking to tell story::
My friends set up the crib before their DD was born, and 1 of their 3 cats took to sleeping in the crib. The longhaired, very large, very unfriendly cat. Then soon after the baby was born, she was sleeping in the crib when the cat jumped into the crib. The cat freaked out like "oh my god, what is THAT?! I'm outta here". The cat promptly jumped out of the crib, and never tried jumping in again.
My friends also installed a screen door on the baby's room, so they could keep the cats out, but they could still hear the baby well.
Like PP have said, your cat will probably stay far, far away from the baby once it hears it crying. I haven't ever heard of a cat, even a friendly one, seeking out a baby.
keep the door closed. maybe you can start keeping the cat in a certain portion of the house and get her used to not being allowed in the nursery.
As for the declawing... If it's between getting rid of her and getting her declawed then fine, it's better she stay in a safe home with people she knows. However, declawing is a really traumatic procedure, especially done on a cat that old. It's not just removing the claws, it's basically removing the finger joints with the claws attached. Imagine someone removing all of your fingers up to the knuckle, that's what it is. My cats have very sharp claws too, and we just cut them frequently. It takes two minutes.
So far all of your responses have been pretty polite. You should see the diatribes that come out when people mention getting rid of a dog. But I'll say that owning a pet it a lifelong commitment. When your DH adopted he made a commitment to care for her for the rest of her life, no matter what comes along. You at least have to TRY your best to make it work, instead of going by some irrational fear before you see how they even interact. The cat may want nothing to do with LO. And cats live a long time, so if she's not even 5 yet, I would get used to her instead of plotting her exit from the family.
Yes, you are crazy and it's not a big deal. We keep the door to the nursery closed and the cats have figured out that they aren't supposed to be in there. Even if we accidently leave it open they don't try to go in, they've never jumped in the cribs.
Babies + cats are perfectly fine -- the only restriction is that YOU can't change the litter box when pg. You should never get rid of a cat just because of a baby....
I agree - the idea of getting rid of it and declawing it are irrational at best. Learn to clip your cat's claws or make DH do it if you're worried it's going to scratch the baby. It takes seconds and is painless to the cat if you do it right. Declawing is horribly traumatic and painful for them, and it takes a while for them to recover. Imagine someone ripping out the tips of your fingers and then expecting you to type at work (or in the cat's case, walk around, dig in a litter box, etc.). If the cat is not very sociable anyway - there's little chance it will want anything to do with baby - they smell funny, they make loud noises - lol, who would want anything to do with that? Especially once they start moving around on their own, yikes!
I have two cats, both were 6 and 7 when DD was born. One of them would sleep in the crib before DD was born a few times, but once baby came home she's never been in there since. Now that DD is older we are teaching her how to pet the kitty nice, etc. but the cats are still faster than her. If they don't want to be petted, they run away.
We have 3 cats and I'm not worried about them with the new baby at all. They are lazy and sleep on the couch mostly anyway. I'm sure once the baby starts crying they will head for the basement to hide for a while. They all go down to the basement at night so they don't meow and scratch at our bedroom door/disturb us while we are sleeping (we shut the door to the basement). They have the run of the whole down stairs area at night... I can keep the baby's and our bedroom doors open at night with no worries about the cats.
Another alternative to declawing is claw caps that are glued to the claws:
https://www.softpaws.com/
I believe vets will apply these if you have trouble doing it yourself, but I haven't used them myself (we have three cats, but we just trim their claws frequently).
By no means am I the crazy cat lady but my two cats are my husband and I's babies right now. We are so excited for our LO to grow up with these two little fur balls. We never let the thought of getting rid of our cats cross our minds as a lot of women stated you can just close the door. Even if your cat isnt friendly you can keep the cat away from the baby and vice versa.
Good luck with your cat troubles.
Why would you declaw the cat if you're just going to get rid of her anyway? I call MUD.
If you are for real, I do think you are being crazy. There is no reason to get rid of the cat, even if she is unfriendly. Your cat and child should never be together unsupervised, regardless of temperment.
I'll second the Soft-Claws. We had them on my old cat. I had no problem applying them myself and they lasted for weeks. Declawing an older cat is cruel. I know of at least one cat that died during the procedure.
Married Filing Jointly Blog
I agree. I have four cats, none of whom will ever be declawed. It is exaclyt like cutting off your fingers to the second knuckle. I cut my cats claws frequently, they know they get treats afterward, so they sit quietly while I do it. You can also get nail files, either hand held or the kind that they can scratch at will.
There are also plastic glue on tips that you can get at PetSmart https://www.petsmart.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4033287. They last for about 8 weeks and prevent clawing. There are many other ways to deal with claws rather than cutting them off.
When the baby comes, we are planning on putting a screen door on the nursery to keep the four cats out. Other than that, I don't think there will be any problems and would never even consider getting rid of my kitties.
If you are seriously considering getting your cat declawed, please find a safe new home for her. You're not a pet person.
I always see this sort of response when someone mentions declawing. Do you find it strange that no-one has an issue with castrating cats and dogs? Imagine having your husband's testicles removed or your ovaries taken out. And yet, doing that to our pets is seen as being a responsible pet owner.
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Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
So your situation is similar to mine...my cat isn't very friendly..especially to children visiting. We always put her in a room while kids are over. I figure she will get used to our baby. She is very loving towards my husband and I...and I hope she becomes that way with our child.
She does attack me though..which is why my husband is ready to get rid of her. Again..she is like my child..not doing it. We are slowly getting her out of the spare room..and will do whatever it takes to help her calmly adjust to her new life. Its not going to be easy, but Im sure it will work. Just give the cat lots of attention....hopefully things work out for the best.
You are a moron. Spaying and neutering is good for the animal's health - it reduces the chances of different kinds of cancers. Pregnancies can be incredibly dangerous for dogs and cats, and there is a huge overpopulation problem anyway. There is no good reason for a dog or cat to be intact, unless they are a titled show dog.
You can't compare that to cutting off part of a cat's fingers because you are too lazy to apply softpaws or train it not to scratch the furniture. It's illegal in most countries - the US is one of the only places (if the only) where you can still get it done.
Happy Spring!.
Whether it's crazy or not, if you are worried about the cat doing anything you should do something to make yourself feel better. They make these cool screens that go over the crib that I'm looking at getting, not because i'm worried about smothering but because my cats love to lay on new things and I want to minimize cat hair on everything. https://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=309775&cmSource=Search
I want to find one for cheaper though.
I would also look at the cat nail covers or try just cutting it's nails all the time and then using a squirt bottle with a teeny tiny bit of lemon juice in it to squirt the cat when it does something bad. Use a little behavior modification before going the route of declawing. My husband has worked with animals for years and declawing is one of the last things you should do. It basically cuts off the tip and first join of all of the cat's toes. It's very painful for the cat. If it prevents the cat from going to a shelter or something do it but I would try something else first.
Make a pregnancy ticker
this.
I would never declaw anyways, but declawing now (and especially right before a major life change) can cause major issues. The cat could start compensating by biting, it may start peeing on things (maybe even the baby) in retaliation.
We have 2 "all wheel drive" cats. One was very easily trained to not scratch, the other was good for a while, but has starting clawing the carpet on the stairs, so we are using soft claws on her.
Declawing is PAINFUL and most countries have already banned it. Many rescue groups and humane societies here forbid their clients from cats adopted through them as well.