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Attachment Parenting
3003girl
member
how do you "teach" a 10 month old?
3003girl
member
I'm going crazy.
How do you teach simple things like "don't grab mama's glasses off her face" or "don't stand up in the tub" or "stay still while I change your diaper" or the best "lay down so you can sleep"
Can they understand these things at 10 months? I feel like I am failing. I go over them over and over and with the glasses I try to redirect. But she still does it and loves it. I try to ignore and that doesn't work.
With the standing up in her crib (which is sidecarred) i feel like a total failure. today I put her down for 45 minutes until I finally held her down. She was exhausted but did not want to lay down to go to sleep.
perhaps i'm also venting here - I have been alone with her for 2 days and am pretty tired.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: how do you "teach" a 10 month old?
Hugs to you. Being the sole care giver for 2 days straight definitely would take it's tole.
I have no advice, but just wanted to say you're not alone! E loves glasses as well & will bat them off of my face or his brothers face every chance he gets. He actually broke his brother's glasses, yikes! I also try redirection & saying things like "not for little hands" or "no touches".
As far as the tub & the sidecar, I always just say "On your bum please" & then place him on his bum. He eventually gets it & I don't have to actually do it for him, just have to say it & he sits down. It doesn't mean he doesn't still try to stand up, but when he's told, he'll sit.
Hope this helps! And I hope your DH gets home soon to relieve you so you can take a nice long bath or do something else relaxing for yourself!
It can be frustrating that the lessons don't sink in after telling them over and over again!
I try not to focus on what DD cannot do because it's such a vague concept. I redirect her, try to make the alternative more appealing and physically guide her into doing what I want her to do. I also try to resist the temptation of what I don't want her to do.
For instance, DD likes to "type" on the laptop. I give her her own toy and make a big deal about it and tell her she can "type" on it. Then I get the laptop out of her sight. Of course, at 18 months, DD is at the age where she can definitely start understanding rules about what's off limits. Sometimes I'll give her a serious look and tell her "I don't like" what ever she just did.
At that age I think we were still firmly in the no touch/grab whatever stage for things like glasses. He got better eventually. We also got better at being able to tell when he was going to do it so we could flip him around or catch his hand and do something silly to distract him.
We also had a similar problem to your crib situation (still do actually) in that he likes to stand on furniture. I would tell him something like "bummy in the chair" and put him down. That actually worked great, but then he started calling our attention to the fact that he's standing so that we would tell him to sit. He still does that, LOL.
thanks for the responses and support. I think I was just having a bad day. I couldn't post before because I haven't been able to get to a computer, but I could read your responses and they helped me a lot last night.
whew. sometimes you just have one of those days when LO does the same thing over and over or is hyper - yesterday was that day. And with DH gone it's hard to get some breathing time.
I guess I'm in for the long haul RE: the glasses. I hate wearing glasses!
I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing with redirecting and reinforcing.
Thanks mamas!
With the glasses, either get her a little pair of sunglasses or some cheap ones with plastic lenses that are hers and hers alone. Carve out time to play "sun glass dress up". The reality is she wants to experience what you have so find a safe and non aggravating way to fill the desire for her and you'll have the most success. Won't make it go away completely but it will help.
Standing in the crib, it's a phase and that one you've got to ride out. Depending on temperment you can do the "if you don't lay down mama will have to leave", " mama wants to help you relax and get sleepy so I'll be back when you're ready". Sure she's going to scream but it's not CIO it's her having a fit because she's not getting what she wants. In those situations I let him scream and the 2nd he calms I scoot in so he's rewarded when he's calm and not yelling.
Staying still during a diaper change, hate to be so negative but it's simply not a reasonable expectation. Once they can move around they do. Of course special toys, hairbrush ect help. I put a mirror above the changing table so they could watch themselves but really it's a struggle until the PT and somedays it's worse than others.
We're going through that too and I found it helps to relate it to cause and effect. We just try to be really consistent with our effects and explain why said effect is happening (even though he doesn't understand). DS loves to grab glasses so when he does, he is immediately put down so that I can clean my glasses while I tell him that mommy needs her glasses to be clean so she can see. The same thing with the tub. I tell him that it's dangerous to stand in the tub and if he does, I just take him out and bath time is over for the day. None of this is done harshly, just matter of fact. As for moving around while changing, I generally give him a high value toy during diaper changes. Something he hasn't seen in a while or that's new altogether. Lately, he likes the water bottle but for a while, his nose frieda was a good toy too. Something he only gets to play with during diaper changes.
For most other things, we redirect. Good luck - it sounds you were just having a bad day, but maybe these suggestions might help in general.
I like the idea about getting a pair of sunglasses for LO, I think she would love that.
Teamsweet - I am going to have to get some more "high value" toys around the changing area. Usually if I move her to the bed she does better than on the changing table, but the other day she was just wound up. BTW - can you believe our LO's are 10 months already!?
Thanks for the suggestions! They are great to hear and put into use. DH is back, so I am less stressed and tired. It was a long 4 days.