If you have 2... ever consider a 3rd?

mrse1107 · April 2011

So my 2 kiddos are no longer 2u2 but once were...

Sometimes I think and feel I really want a 3rd. But, then I bombard myself with questions like "how soon is too soon and how long to wait is too long"

I love the closeness my LOs share - they LOVE each other, so much. And I worry a 3rd could really "upset the applecart" in this area somehow by waiting too many years or something

I'm not sure if this is even coherant, or if its purely babble. Sorry

PhilsWife07 · April 2011

We're having a third. Right now the plan is to wait until DS2 is 2 to TTC. I don't want too much space in between though as I don't want the third to feel like the third wheel since he/she would not be as close in age with DS2 as DS2 is with DS1. Ideally, I'd like to have a fourth with similar spacing to DC3 as I have with DS1 and DS2.

t.bird · April 2011

we do want a 3rd- i wouldn't mind them all being spaced 14 months apart- but we'll have to see.

Cilley · April 2011

Nope, no room and no more energy to do it again!

lkf041 · April 2011

We are expecting our 3rd so we will be doing 2u2 again. 1 and 2 our 18 months apart, 2 and 3 will be 18 months apart as well. Still not sure if we are crazy for doing this!

mlf625 · April 2011

We go back and forth, but I'm 99% sure we'll end up with a 3rd. We'll TTC within the next year, I'm thinking, because if DD gets older and more independent, I'm not going to want to start over with the baby stage. And I share the same concern - my first two are just under 17 months apart and if we space #3 much further, I'd be afraid he/she would be left out of everything and miss out on the close relationship 1 & 2 share. My sister and I are 4.5 years apart and my brother and I 8 years, and we really only got close later on. As kids, we didn't have much in common.

Ideally, we'd have #3 around the time #1 goes off to preschool (he'll start just before his 4th birthday) so I'd never be home full time with 3 little ones!

kcisthebombdotcom · April 2011

I have the same exact concerns as you do. If we have 1 more, it will be when DS is 3.5/DD is 2.5 since I definitely need a break from being pregnant. I always feel like two's company but three's a crowd and that the 3rd might feel jealous of the relationship the first 2 have. I know that spacing doesnt always equal relationships, but I still worry. Luckily, we have a while before we have to make a decision either way.

LJR 84 · April 2011

It's a little early to predict how we'll feel after this lo is born, but our plan has always been to have 3.

That being said- I want to wait until this lo is at least 2 before ttc. I'm so over being pregnant! It's seriously been 2 years straight. I need a break. I could end up eating my words if baby fever hits a little early, but I doubt it will.

luciagdelopez · April 2011

we have 3 back to back. DD is currently 3 and 1 month, DS is 2 and 1 month and DD is 8 months. They all play great together. Its interesting how the 3 and 2 year olds are like twins yet the 2 and the 8 month old get along with such a special connection. I dont think DD feels like a third wheel but it may be because there is a boy sandwiched in the middle.

mrsseguin · April 2011

If I had easy pregnancies, we'd definitely have a 3rd. It's still up in the air. If we did we'd wait a bit longer and start trying when DD is 2. For us, it has been overwhelming a lot with going from 1-2...some days we can't even imagine having 3 kids, then other days, we can't imagine not having 3 kids.

Raffes484 · April 2011

lkf041:
We are expecting our 3rd so we will be doing 2u2 again. 1 and 2 our 18 months apart, 2 and 3 will be 18 months apart as well. Still not sure if we are crazy for doing this!

This is us. It might be crazy, but I've never wanted only 2 kids. I am the 3rd in my family and sure there were times I felt left out, but I wouldn't change a thing. I am 5 years younger than my sister and 3 years younger than my brother. My sister and I have always been pretty close, probably forced as we shared a room forever, but my brother and I didn't become close until I was almost 20, before that we couldn't really stand eachother.

CHI-06 · April 2011

My daughters are 20 months apart and this new baby and my youngest will be 17 months apart

caymanbride · April 2011

My boys are exactly 2 years (and 2 days) apart, and I love the spacing. I wish I felt done, as 2 would be so much easier in life, but I just don't feel like our family is complete. So, yes, we'll probably have a third with similar spacing. I don't want # 3 to feel too left behind or left out, and I also don't want DS # 2 to get too old and independent where I wouldn't want to go back to the baby stage.

MammaBear81 · April 2011

We are baby #5 right now, so yes, we did consider a 3rd Smile

. As for how soon is too soon, and how long is too long, it really depends on your family. For us 18 months apart for all of our kids work, but having two that get along really well and waiting to have a third might work really well for you. Personally I'm not a fan of anything greater than 3 years apart, but that's JMO.

juliane2004 · April 2011

We would love to have a 3rd! We had a BFN this past cycle, but if we get a BFP in the next cycle or two, then each pair of kids would have 14 months between them.

kcisthebombdotcom · April 2011

juliane2004:
We would love to have a 3rd! We had a BFN this past cycle, but if we get a BFP in the next cycle or two, then each pair of kids would have 14 months between them.

I'm surprised your dr. gave you the ok to TTC again. My dr told me to wait a while before conceiving again, although he didnt mind the first 2 pregnancies spaced close together. Pregnancies spaced close together have a higher risk of premature birth, and since you have a history of preemies, I'm surprised they said it was ok.

flgator · April 2011

Mine are not 2u2 either anymore. I want a 3rd but we have no ideas on spacing. We knew we wanted to have the first 2 close together. I have no thoughts on it but just wanted to say I think about it too.

juliane2004 · April 2011

KC_13:
juliane2004:
We would love to have a 3rd! We had a BFN this past cycle, but if we get a BFP in the next cycle or two, then each pair of kids would have 14 months between them.

I'm surprised your dr. gave you the ok to TTC again. My dr told me to wait a while before conceiving again, although he didnt mind the first 2 pregnancies spaced close together. Pregnancies spaced close together have a higher risk of premature birth, and since you have a history of preemies, I'm surprised they said it was ok.

Actually I never asked. I don't like the idea of someone else telling me what to do or not to do, so I base the decision on when to have more on my husband and I.

Also, our two came a month early each due to my type 1 diabetes, not because I went into labor on my own early.

ETA: ... I re-read that, and I think I sound bi*chy, but I don't mean to be.

kcisthebombdotcom · April 2011

juliane2004:
KC_13:

juliane2004:
We would love to have a 3rd! We had a BFN this past cycle, but if we get a BFP in the next cycle or two, then each pair of kids would have 14 months between them.

I'm surprised your dr. gave you the ok to TTC again. My dr told me to wait a while before conceiving again, although he didnt mind the first 2 pregnancies spaced close together. Pregnancies spaced close together have a higher risk of premature birth, and since you have a history of preemies, I'm surprised they said it was ok.

Actually I never asked. I don't like the idea of someone else telling me what to do or not to do, so I base the decision on when to have more on my husband and I.

Also, our two came a month early each due to my type 1 diabetes, not because I went into labor on my own early.

ETA: ... I re-read that, and I think I sound bi*chy, but I don't mean to be.

I didnt think you sounded bitchy at all. And I see where you're coming from, but just an FYI-my dr told me it could be dangerous for the baby's health if I conceived so quickly again.

I'm not trying to tell you what to do or be a PITA-just want to make sure you make an informed decision. Knowledge is power (or insert another cheesy line here).

GL!

SweetBaby2004 · April 2011

Our 2u2 are now 6 1/2 and almost 5 (DD#1 and DS). DD#2 is 15 months old. As close as DD#1 and DS are, they LOVE their baby sister.

DD#1 and DS are very close - they even share a room by choice. However, they play with DD#2, love on her, talk to her - she is part of the "club."

We are currently TTC another baby and do not worry how the children will take to another baby. We will do the same things we did before: make a big deal out of being a big brother/sister (DS's favorite shirt is his "Big Brother" shirt - he wears it all the time!), praise them for their help, include them in care/play as much as possible,etc.

Good luck with your decision!

Nanna · April 2011

#2 was being lifted out of my body and being placed on my chest, umbilical cord still unclamped when I looked to my DH and said "I'm not done!". So, for me it was a no-brainer that I wanted another child (and DH was on board as well). There was never a question for me whether I wanted another - I wasn't on the fence one little bit. I think when you're really done you KNOW you're done.

3PupsAndABaby · April 2011

i'm only a week into 2u2 but i definitely will want 1 maybe 2 more.... just not until DS2 is at least 2 will i start TTC

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