LGBT Parenting
ctbride08
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PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
ctbride08
member
How are things going in your kid/baby-related world this week? Struggles? Brags? Let's hear 'em all!
QOTD: How do you feel about your children going to college? ie: will it be expected/required? encouraged? you'll support whatever their plans are even if it doesn't include college?
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
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Re: PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday
we had our first U/S yesterday and saw the heartbeat! it was so exciting! everything is progressing normally and our original EDD is only a couple of days off from the measurement, which made me happy. just knowing that the bean was growing at a good rate is such a relief.
QOTD: How do you feel about your children going to college? ie: will it be expected/required? encouraged? you'll support whatever their plans are even if it doesn't include college?
our kids will be expected to do something beyond high school, but it doesn't necessarily have to be a 4 year liberal arts degree. i want them to have the experience of college classes and that pre-adult life of some responsibility, but not ALL, but if it's at a trade or art school or some kind, that's fine with me. as much as i was a bookish kid, i wish someone had told me about those kinds of options. i think i would have been much happier in a more hands-on career than the one i've stumbled into and am trying to get out of.
Things are good at our house. Our streak of horrible, no good, very bad behavior has come to an end and been replaced with typical 4-5y behavior (sometimes good, sometimes not so good, sometimes annoying as hell.)
Grayson has started having multiple accidents during the day. This is from a kid who once he was potty trained rarely had accidents. He's had them at school, at home (this morning he went to the bathroom right before he walked out the door and by the time he was getting into his car seat he was wet.) He denies any pain, appears to empty his bladder, no major changes (they are in camp this week but they've done that before, he says he likes it, and seems happy to go), etc. We've not been punitive, but told him that he needs to go to the bathroom before he has to go so badly he can't wait, tell his teachers/counselors, taken him when we drop him off, etc so I don't know what is up.
Re college: Will it be required? Yes and no. It will be the expectation, but if one/both of them totally reject the idea of college for some reason we will rethink it (though it will be a hard mental transition for us.) I do know they will need a plan to get an education of some kind, be that college, a trade, or another skill post high school. I don't care what they do so much as they are able to be self sufficient, are happy in their field, and feel fulfilled. I do know that no one will be living in our basement at 22y and playing video games all day/night. :P
(2brides-- I love that book!)
I had hoped to be able to come on here and say that we are rounding the bend towards wellness in our house, but, alas, that was not to be. Peanut has gotten worse rather than better, and a trip to the doctor this morning revealed a double ear infection much worse than the single one she had before (and had been on amox. for). The details are pretty gross, so I'll spare you, but suffice it to say I see why she has been waking up crying every hour or two. They put her on a stronger script and said to keep doing the albuterol to help her wheezing. Poor Peanut.
Little Man still has a cough, and is about half way through his amox. for his ear infection. He seems to be sleeping a little bit better, though (knock on wood), so I'm hoping he'll avoid heading down his sister's path.
We've hit a period of both wanting to be picked up and carried 80% of the time. And of course if you pick one up, the other one (who could have been playing happily) comes over and asks to be picked up (and cries and cries if you don't). They are getting a little heavy to pick up at the same time, so I hope this is just the illness or a phase that passes before they get too much bigger!
QOTD: I will speak for myself and let S put her 2 cents in if she'd like. I will expect them to go to college. I think 10 years ago I probably would have said they can do whatever they like, as long as they are productive and happy, but now I think college (at least jr. college) will be mandatory. One of my brothers was "allowed" to opt-out of college, and I think it did him a great disservice.
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
Today is a much better day with Izzie, I've been having a hard time bonding with her since she moved in. We will get there eventually, it's just hard right now. She is doing great in our house although timeouts are a daily occurence.
A is starting to let her real emotions about Izzie show, she is jealous and wants her space back. She has been really good with Iz and plays with her but occasionally needs a break.
J and I are doing all we can to make the transition easy on both of the girls and it's made us closer in the process.
I really, REALLY needed a Mommy break yesterday so J took the girls to her parents house for a visit while I got a few chores done in silence. Bliss!
QOTD: I would like the kids to go to college or trade school, but ultimately, it's up to them. We've encouraged A to go to college since she decided that she wants to be a vet. She wants to go to USC to study veterinary medicine, I don't think they even have classes for that there but at least she has her sights set high! We will do whatever we can to help our kids get into, stay in, and afford college.
If they choose not to go to college than they need to have an extraordinary plan in place for themselves. I will let them live at home but they need to have a full-time job and be working towards moving out.
Two Mommies Healing Hearts
No big changes on the PCP front...I am tenatively scheduled to have surgery next week, which is one of a few things on our absolutely must do before TTC list. I'm trying not to freak out about it, but kind of am.
As far as college...it would be a big struggle for us to accept it if our child didn't want to go. We both have Master's degrees, we both talk about doing further degrees, and there are many people with doctorate level degrees on both sides of our family. It will be our expectation that our children are similarly educated. That said, it's ultimately not something we can force. We will support rational alternative plans that involve self sufficiency. Like 2 brides, there will not be 22 year old video game players in the basement!!!
IVF Oct/Nov 2012
Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
Cautiously optimistic.
Ky has ran into some sleep issues. She is now refusing to sleep. Once she gets to sleep she is fine and will sleep all night/take an hour+ nap, it is the getting there that is a problem. Last night she kept crawling between me and DW. One of us would pick her up, she would cuddle for a few minutes, and then demand to be put down. She also kept crawling laps around the coffee table (hilarious to watch) and then laying down on the floor in her sleep position (knees tucked under, butt high in the air). She would start to doze and then a minute later her head would pop up and she would resume the laps. We finally put her in between us in bed and she passed out with her feet shoved into Ann's chest, back pressed to my chest, and head on my head. I am really hoping this phase does not last long....
QOTD: I do not feel college is a requirement. I have seen first hand the horrible idea it is to force a child into college. Ann was forced to go to a four year college (she wanted to jus tgo get an associates) and now is several thousand in debt and has no degree to show for it as she was never able to finish. Every holiday all her parents talk about is her going back to college and I just want to tell them to leave her alone, college is not for everyone. She mentioned converting her credit hours to an associates and finishing up at a local community college (which would literally take like 3 classes) and they acted like that was the worst thing she coudl do ever. SO FRUSTRATING!
We had E's appointment to check her weight today. The good news is that she gained about a 3/4 lb since she was last weighed at the office. The bad news is she had lost about 1/2 lb since she was weighed in the ER. She is now 22.5lbs and 31 inches at 21 months (18.5 adjusted) So in three months she had a gain of 3/4lb not so great. She is in the 8th percentile which is still down from the 13th where she had been hanging out for a while. So while our dr is not stressed out we are to continue with project chubby cheeks and if she gets sick we need to supplement her diet with some pediasure so she doesn't loose during her illness. I was really hoping for a bigger gain. Oh well. Let's just hope she doesn't drop off the chart completely by her 2yr check in July.
As for the qotw- College will not be a choice. Unless there is some factor that prevents her from attending. If she would like to go to a vocational school (cullinary ect) that would be ok too.
We've had a rocky week. RB has been sick and so clingy. Thankfully everyone is healthy now, but its been stressful trying to juggle 3 young children (one sick) and Passover. Lets just say last night's seder did not go well. Its so fustrating when family has unreasonable expectations of young children. /rant
QOTD: College is expected and we've already started the conversation with Sprout that he will be going to college. In my mind, its the new high school. Graduate and higher degrees will be encouraged, but not expected in the same way. Its unusual for me to take such a firm stand on expectations for my children, but I feel strongly about this one.
Blogs: Our Growing Family - CT Working Moms
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure
ITA also - but if the boys wanted to do something like culinary school or a trade to be a plumber or something viable and employable (yes, I know I sound like my father when I chose the all-encompassing psychology major) I would be okay with that...though it would be hard for us both to swallow given that we've put a lot of effort/thought into our own education (and theirs)already.
C pretty much covered everything. She is quite right...the twins are getting heavy (mostly Little Man)! I think C under estimated the amount of time that they want to be held...I think it is more like 99 percent of the time (or at least that is what my neck and back say).
I can say that C spoke for both of us regarding college. I used to be a big college or the Armed Forces believer (preferably college) but now I am pretty much college driven. No one should have to experience what my oldest did when she was in the Middle East...sorry Dad, but I cannot be the Army's strongest recruiter any longer.
We are still in the planning stages for ttc. I've began temping and charting. I've also contacted my insurance company about coverage and we've started to research a few sperm banks. We still have a few things we need to do before ttc but we both are really excited to know we actually have a set start date.
QOTD: Jay and I both have degrees. I currently have an associate's but working on my bachelor's and Jay is doing an MBA program.To us attending college is really important. We would prefer for our children to at least have a bachelor's degree, neither of us are too fond of trade schools but if they preferred to do that we would support them.
Married my best friend 5*15*2008 Trying to start our family 8*2011
unmedicated iui#3= bfp 10/20/11! beta#1=11, beta#2=85, beta#3=741,beta#4=1000,beta#5=2146,beta#6=7454 *please keep doubling*
We aren't anywhere near TTC, but college will be required for our children as much as you can make an 18 year old someone do something. We will talk to them about it from as early as they can comprehend. College is very important to us, I am getting my Bachelors and hopefully a masters while julie is finishing up her masters. My dad didn't graduate highschool, and my mom JUST finished cosmetology school, I know first hand what it's like to not have a degree.Julie is also the only of her siblings to obtain a 4 year degree and the fact she is getting her masters is just blowing their mind. Her mom and dad don't have degrees either.
However, I hate to be so judgmental as my dad owns two very successful companies, and my mom is doing okay with out a degree as well.
Yet, my children WILL be going to college as it is the new high school. If they want to start at a JC and transfer to a 4 year that is fine with me, but a Bachelors will be expected at minimum, and falling short will be hard for us to swallow.
It's spirit week at DD's school and today is crazy hair day. Got her hair done up in 3 ponytails and it was super cute and then, "mommy I don't want it like that, I just want it normal." Haha, sigh.
DD seems to be doing a bit better with bedtime though she wants extra comforting every night, my tough love approach seems to be working. She has decided in the past week that she doesn't want to go to school and I'm assuming it's because she got to stay home and watch movies while she was sick and that was WAY more fun. I've asked her if anything is wrong at school...no mommy, it's just not fun. Sigh...get used to it kid you've got many more years of this!
And on that note...well I don't know what her dad thinks, but I think it's very important for DD to have some post high school education. I do believe college is the new high school. I will support her as much as possible towards this goal and encourage her to pursue it.
One word: Frustrating
For the past few months, my cycle has been like clockwork. 30 day cycle with O at day 14.
So we went ahead and planned for the IUI.. specimen arrived at the office on day 13.. it's day 14 and nothing. Not even a hint of a positive.
(Vent over)
QOTD: I was "required" to go to college.. and I kind of resented it. I have a degree that I spent 5 years on, and I don't use it. I love the job I have without it. So.. higher education will def be encouraged, but I won't be pushing them if it's not right for them
Cycle #1 6/26/2010 IUI- BFN (TTC break)
Cycle #2 4/24/2011 IUI- BFN
Cycle #3 3/30/2012 IUI- BFP!!!
HB@8 weeks= 154, HB@12 weeks= 180
Grow, baby, grow!
I felt the baby move yesterday!! SO exciting! I have had feelings in the past few weeks that I was unsure of but yesterday, sitting in my office, paying no attention to it at all, it felt like a fat 'ol goldfish in my stomach! Mind blowing! I am feeling awesome which is..awesome! I have energy galore and can eat *almost* anything (still no meat. shudder.. but that isn't a surprise, the only meat I ate before getting pregnant was an occasional chicken finger and only because chickens don't have fingers so I cold distance myself from it.) We are sailing into the 4th month and have an u/s next Tuesday (and every 2 weeks thereafter) to check on my cervix in hopes I don't end up on bed rest. And our nursery furniture is in! We are hoping for delivery tomorrow! YAY!
QOTD.. We are both big on higher ed and I agree.. college IS the new H.S. I come from a family full of doctors and attorneys and was the black sheep with 'only' my bachelors degree (I have yet to finish my masters of ED, I began in Hawai'i before my father died). K, on the other hand is going for her 2nd masters degree and is the first person to acquire an advanced degree in her family. We both have brothers who were 'forced' through traditional high schools and fought with to go to college and I can say, having lived through it and watched what it did to my brother first hand, I will never 'expect' our kids to go to college or even get through a traditional h.s. if it is not a good fit for them. My brother ended up failing out of every trade school he tried (to make my dad proud) and was diagnosed in his 20's with a fairly severe reading comprehension problem (after years of testing which resulted in no diagnosis). He apprenticed with a carpenter and now 25, is happy as can be building houses and is easily making more than me (or K with her masters). We will talk about college, throughout their lives, as 'what happens next', but will be ready with back up plans if it doesn't seem right for the individual and wouldn't be the slightest bit disappointed if they chose otherwise.