How did you make your TTC decisions?

MissyNWill · April 2011

I feel like we are at a crossroads. We have been TTC for 2 years. We are dealing with MFIF (low morph, which we discovered in December). We tried IUI in January, then took (and are currently still taking, technically) a break doing anything TTC-related besides unprotected sex, for my mental health reasons.

I don't feel like I want to be on a break any more, but don't know where we should put our time, energy and money. We have explored everything---adoption, IUI, IVF, etc. There are pros and cons to each, but our main concern is the financial aspects of each. Do we keep trying natural cycles and save money for whatever other option we decide? Do we just save for the "big deal" things like adoption or IVF, or pay along the way for a few more tries at IUI? The decisions are so tough.

I realize that this is a decision that we have to make, I just wanted to know what brought you to your decision(s).

Trish11278 · April 2011

Has your DH seen a urologist yet? A urologist might be able to help your DH in other ways before you explore fertility treatments.

MissyNWill · April 2011

That's part of the next steps. I keep forgetting that he needs to do that. He did say he draws the line at d ick surgery

Trish11278 · April 2011

The surgery is actually done through your stomach. The pain from the surgery is all in the stomach from the incisions so it is "technically" not *** surgery, if that helps. My DH did have a rough recovery but I have heard of others going back to work within a couple days.

LindzK · April 2011

We are really taking the whole TTC journey ONE step at a time. (One month at a time.) We are OOP also and it is hard for us financially. We try to do anything we can afford at the moment. We really want to have a family, but if were always stressed about money and in debt, then we won't enjoy it.

I would see the urologist 1st and see if there is anything YH can do and if insurance will cover it.

ChicagoWeded2007 · April 2011

Has any doctor actually recommended surgery? The urologist could also recommend a variety of medications to help him.

ecleptic · April 2011

Our decision making was fairly straight forward- since IVF was our only chance for a biological child it was IVF, traditional adoption, or embryo adoption. All three involved rather large sums of money and potential heartbreak, none were an absolute guarantee.

So we decided to start with IVF and see how it went. So far it's been really encouraging- plenty of sperm for ICSI, good numbers of eggs, mixing them together made a good number of pretty eggs. At this point the only thing I can see the doctor telling us isn't working out would be implantation issues (none yet, but no beta test yet either)- and that would make embryo adoption equally prone to failure... leaving us with traditional adoption as the next step if this doesn't work.

I'd start with your diagnosis and what, if any, treatments have failed and why, if it's known, that they failed. IUI is cheap compared to the other alternatives but if it's a minimal chance of success (like my husbands 100k healthy swimmers- never going to be IUI) then it might be best to look onward. If you're unknown with a minimal treatment history- it wouldn't hurt to start simple and hope that you don't have to spend on the big ticket treatments. It sounds like you've already done an IUI though- so I'd start with figuring out if there's any known reason for it to have failed apart from simple "bad luck". There's still only a 20% chance of IUI working for most couples- as much as a non-medicated cycle for fertile couples and not awesome odds. But if we could- I'd take my chance with low odds and cheap treatment a couple of times before moving on to IVF which, even if you have a 50% chance of success is still not a guarantee even if everything goes perfectly.

wordslikeswords · April 2011

I second the urologist. We were looking at IVF and whatnot until the urologist told us DH had a missing testicle, a pituitary tumor, and no testosterone! He was able to put him on a medication that drastically improved everything to the point his S/A was close to normal. At that point we started trying naturally, but ended up skipping right to IVF. We were forced into that because of a kidney problem I had, and my nephrologist was pretty emphatic that we should do it asap.

I think if we hadn't gotten a sort of ultimatum, we would have tried to take things a little slower and tried at least a few IUIs. It's definitely a lot to think about though. You'll figure out what's right for you.

JnJ62406 · April 2011

we made our decisions based on how badly we want a baby. We realize that our chances of it happening are slim to none on our own, a little bit higher (but not much) with IUI and a 50% chance with IVF. So we are going to move on to IVF as soon as we pay off some debt and save up some for IVF. GL with whatever you decide.

99luftballoons · April 2011

How bad is the morph? There have been many many women on here that have gotten pregnant with low morph, either naturally or through IUI. I am actually one of them (our morph was 3%). We got pregnant on our 3rd IUI (1st medicated IUI), so obviously I know it can happen. If that is your only issue, I would definitely have him see a urologist, make sure everything you have done all the testing you need to do, including HSG and do a few more IUIs before really digging into IVF and adoption as options.

Also- was your IUI medicated or unmedicated? Because the statistics are much different between them, even if you don't have any known issues. And just antecdotally, IUIs are often successful around here on the 2nd and 3rd tries. Sometimes the timing is off or you need another shot to make it work. GL

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