October 2011 Moms

Who will you have in the delivery room?

Just curious as to who all you ladies plan to have in the delivery room with you. I think its REALLY going to hurt my moms feelings, but I really only want me and DH in there. I know it would be special for my mom, but honestly I dont want her to see my vaj, and I want it to just be a special time for DH and I. Kinda worried about when/how to break this news to her....

 Anyone else??

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Re: Who will you have in the delivery room?

  • I would LOVE to have my mom there, but she's on the other coast and since I can't plan when I go into labor, I'd rather have her here when the baby comes instead of when it may come. 

    So, just DH and my doula.   

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  • My mom, DH, and my sister.  they were all there for Jacks birth, and they all brought their own strengths to the process, that said, I think your mom will respect your decision. 

    I dont think I would look at it as a big thing that you have to break to her, simply mention that you are excited for you and DH and you LO to have your first few moments as a family together.  

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  • I agree with you 100%.  I already know my mom will be hurt, but just like you, I want it to be a special private time for us.  I plan to mention my plan casually early on so she has no misconceptions.  
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  • Just my husband... maybe my sister because she is a photographer, but I am not sure about that yet. 

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  • with my first delivery, I really debated my mom.  I wasn't sure if I wanted her there or not so I decided to just bite the bullet and have her there.  I wish my husband had been the only one there.  She really irritated me and pissed me off. 

     It ended in a c-section so for this one, it will just be my dh in the OR!

  • It will depend on when I go into labor.  My DH is a fire fighter and if he is on shift, we will call him to come to the hospital, and they will let him leave, but my mom will be with me nights he works.  If she is the one that takes me to the hospital, then I won't kick her out.  I am not sure that I will care all that much about my mom being in there, but would like it to be just me and DH.  I will however NOT having my dad in there!!
  • Me, DH, doctors, nurses. Everyone else is welcome to wait in the waiting room. They can see me when I'm not in stirrups anymore, and the baby is no longer bloody and goopy!
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  • I originally just wanted my hubby, but I'm not sure how he'll be able to handle things.  I ended up asking my mom just in case my hubby passes out.  Plus she's totally opposite of my hubby.  He'll be comforting (and probably annoying!) and my mom will tell it like it is & yell at me when I need yelled at!  I also want her with me because she's gone through this (obviously).

    You could still have your mom in with you, just tell her stay "north of the border"  Wink

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  • I just want DH in the room. When I told Mom, she was devistated and is holding out hope I'll change my mind, but I know I won't. We actually argued about it and I had to let her know it's nothing personal, it's jsut more stressful for me and I need to be as relaxed as possible. Good luck when you tell your mom, just try to approach it from a "less people in the room" standpoint so maybe she won't feel like you are just preventing her from coming in.
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  • My plan:  husband, mom and best friend (who will HOPEFULLY be here from Alabama - that one is hard to schedule but she mananged to get here one day before I delivered my son), and one doctor, one nurse.

    More likely:  husband, mom, multiple doctors/nurses.  I fully realize twins is a huge game changer when it comes to L&D.  I just hope surgical instruments aren't involved!

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  • I will only have DH in the room with me.  If you had a part in conception, then you can have a part in the delivery.  I was very adamant about this with my first and told my mother very early on.  In the middle of pushing, I felt like someone was watching me and I look over to the door and there is my crazy mother...staring at me like a nut job!  I was so angry!  The main thing I remember was screaming "get the %$&* OUT!" in the middle of a push.  It is for that reason that I won't be calling anyone until I am being stitched up. 
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  • Just DH. I don't want my mom or MIL there, though I know they would love it, I just wouldn't feel comfortable with them there I'd be afraid to really scream for fear of upsetting my mom, and I'd just be worrying about them. I also think it's a private thing that is between DH and me (and all the medical staff, obviously).
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  • I want DH and my mom in the room with me.  The only thing is my mom doesn't drive on highways or interstates so unless she is with me, I don't know how she is going to get to the hospital...I think it's time for her to make an exception lol.
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  • It's going to be just me and my DH. I love my mom but I know how my mom will act, she will wanna have her head between my legs watching the babies every move and comenting at every moment.....NO THANKs lol...
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  • aandgaandg member
    Only my husband and the drs/nurses. The only other person I would even consider would be my stepmom, but this is something that is special for just my husband and I.
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  • I will have my husband and my mother (who is a labor and delivery nurse) for sure.
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  • Just DH.  I'm having RCS, but even if I was having a VBAC this time, it would still just be him.  He was the only person in the room when we were having DS (besides medical personnel, obviously).
  • Me and DH that's it.  My mom was with me last time and she drove me nuts.  So regardless of the situation it will only be DH. If he cannot for some crazy reason be there, my BFF will be.

    To each their own. I thought I wanted my mom last time and it was just too much.  Maybe she'll just keep DS this time :)  MIL???HELL NO!

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  • Just DH. I already spoke to my mom about it and she's fine with hanging out in the waiting rom til the baby is born. She's close enough where we'll probably wait to call her until we see how quickly labor is progressing.
  • Me and DH. My first labor was so fast and I doubt any other family will even make it to the waiting room this time around. DD was born about 6 hours from where all of our family lives, but we're about to move closer. We will be 1.5 hours from most of them this time. My first labor was only 3.5 hours (could have been faster but I let my epidural really kick in before I started pushing) so I expect this one to be quicker.
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  • It will just be DH and I in the delivery room.  I was going to have my mother also, but DH just wants it to be me and him.  I don't think this will be an issue with my mother since she was in the room when I had DS.
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  • Just my husband and the doctors/nurses.
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  • It will just be my husband and I (and maybe a doula if I hire one).
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  • I will have my DH and my mother.  My mom was in the room for my first daughter and she was supportive.   i haven't discussed this with my Dh but- it's my choice- right? :-)

     

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  • It's only going to be me and DH.  I mentioned it to my mother in passing that it would just be the two of us and that we'd call everyone after the fact ( I am a really private person and most of my family has no boundaries).  She hasn't mentioned anything since, but this will also be the first grandchildren, so I really get to set the precedent.
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  • Just me and DH 
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  • Me, hubby and doctors/nurses. No one else. If there is one issue where I've completely 110% put my foot down, it's this.
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  • Just DH.  MIL was insistent on being there but I told her if my mom wasn't allowed neither was she. 
  • My husband of course, my Mom and my sister. Although realistically I will probably have 3-4 "friends" in the room also. I will be delivering in the hospital where I am an L&D nurse - so I know those girls will get in there somehow!
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  • Me and my DH, like with my DD. I will not feel comfortable with anyone else looking down there or watching me in pain. In fact, it would be very stressful for me. But then again, I am not very close to my mother, I don't know what type of relationship you have with yours. I had no trouble telling her that only my DH was to be in the room. I am sure she will understand and respect your wishes. It is your special moment and you should not feel guilty for having it the way you want to.
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  • Hubby and I actually talked about this the other night and I mentioned that the only people I would be okay with are him, Mom, and MIL.  That being said, he decided to add that his Mom would probably be crazy/paranoid/worried etc.  So then I thought, well I won't actually invite the moms (b/c I definitely can't have mine in there without someone to keep her on calm behaviour) but I don't think I'll be able to say no if they ask.  Of course, we also live 4+ hours away and neither of them are fans of highway driving..
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  • Just DH.  I don't think my mom or anyone in family would be surprised.  When I am nervous or in pain, the less people the better. 

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  • DH, hospital staff and MAYBE a pro-photog.
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  • imagedesy_dawn:
    I will only have DH in the room with me.  If you had a part in conception, then you can have a part in the delivery.  I was very adamant about this with my first and told my mother very early on.  In the middle of pushing, I felt like someone was watching me and I look over to the door and there is my crazy mother...staring at me like a nut job!  I was so angry!  The main thing I remember was screaming "get the %$&* OUT!" in the middle of a push.  It is for that reason that I won't be calling anyone until I am being stitched up. 

    Wow! I can't believe she did that! Did she know you were talking (yelling) to her? I've got to hear more about this story!

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  • In an ideal world, I'd love for my DH and my mom to be there.  However, its not really practical to plan on my mom being there as she lives on the East Coast and I'm here in California.  In all reality, it will probably be just me & DH.  I'll be looking into getting a doula though, I like the idea of having someone there who's been through the process themselves and can be an advocate for me when push comes to shove. 

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

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  • I've done it both ways. With DS it was fiancee, MIL to-be and mom.

    With DD it was just DH.

    This time I let him have his special delivery I'd like my sister and my best friend who is a professional photographer, but we'll see if I can convince him. 

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  • I had my mom and DH there for both of my deliveries. I was SO thankful my mom was there, especially the first time around. My DH was very supportive, but didn't have the experience to help me in the way my mom could. She's given birth 4 times and has been an L&D nurse for more than 20 years. She actually delivered my son under my OB's supervision. It's obviously not for everyone, but for us it was a wonderful experience.
  • It is just going to be my DH and I.  My mom lives across the country so I am happy I don't have to tell her she won't be in the delivery room.


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