S/O Big families... Family size

firsttogo · April 2011

For those of you who are not finished building your families, do you get comments from others about what you should or should not do in regards to how many children you should or should not have?

I feel like we hear it all the time, and it makes. me. nuts. The comments about, how nice it is to be done now that we have our girl. ect... UGH!@

Mr.&MrsS · April 2011

We are done growing our family and we still get comments all the time. Dont I want to have a third so I can have a girl?!?! You know, like I can pull up at a McDonald's drive thru and order myself up a daughter. Who is to say that I wouldnt have another boy? (And in my eyes, IF I wanted a third I would have a third because I wanted another CHILD not because I wanted a specific gender. My life doesnt seem any less to me just because I dont have a daughter).

Wow, I guess I needed to get that off my chest!! Lol. Embarrassed

caymanbride · April 2011

Yes. People are always surprised when we say we want at least one more. And then they assume it's because I want a girl. Nope. I want another baby/child, and I'd be thrilled with a third boy. When I do say we want one more (and maybe even 2 more, although that is less likely for a few reasons) people are always shocked and kind of weird about it.

MammaBear81 · April 2011

We started to get comments about our family size after DD1 (because then we had two boys and "finally got our girl" so everyone thought that we should be done then right?!). We always said all we cared about was a healthy baby, not if it was a boy or a girl. When baby #4 came along I got a lot of "why?" REALLY?! how dare I have another baby after successfully having one child of each sex, it's like I broke the law or something Stick out tongue

I don't look at people with one or two babies and tell them they need to have more kids, why tell me how many is right for me?

CaitlinJ22 · April 2011

Most people I know stop at 2, maybe 3 kids. When I say I want more than 2 its like im saying I want 10. I don;t bother saying that we would love 4 or 5. Also, I know when we get pg with #3 (whether its now or 5 years from now) my family will still think my kids are too close together and that 3 is enough....whatever. Im ready for the comments when it happens.

I also think its sad when people suddenly are less excited for you with each child. I can't imagine the reaction when and if we have #4 or 5. I already felt like people were kind of blah about having #2....

I don't get the judgment when people are capable, responsible adults who love their kids...however many there are.

Nanna · April 2011

People always assume we are done just because #3 is a girl so now that we have one of each we couldn't possibly want any more. Chances are that we are in fact done after #3, but the sexes of our children have nothing to do with that decision at all.

Under.the.Rose · April 2011

*jumping in from 3-6*

My mom sure got tired of it. She had me and my brother first, so people were always like "oooh the million dollar family". Yea. She went on to have 4 more children and probably would have had more if it was possible.

FWIW having a big family is awesome.

firsttogo · April 2011

Mr.&MrsS:
We are done growing our family and we still get comments all the time. Dont I want to have a third so I can have a girl?!?! You know, like I can pull up at a McDonald's drive thru and order myself up a daughter. Who is to say that I wouldnt have another boy? (And in my eyes, IF I wanted a third I would have a third because I wanted another CHILD not because I wanted a specific gender. My life doesnt seem any less to me just because I dont have a daughter).

Wow, I guess I needed to get that off my chest!! Lol.

Exactly! And I hate the "Oh, You kept at it until you got your girl".... After our IF struggle, if you ONLY KNEW....

sfshawna · April 2011

CaitlinJ22:
Most people I know stop at 2, maybe 3 kids. When I say I want more than 2 its like im saying I want 10. I don;t bother saying that we would love 4 or 5. Also, I know when we get pg with #3 (whether its now or 5 years from now) my family will still think my kids are too close together and that 3 is enough....whatever. Im ready for the comments when it happens.
I also think its sad when people suddenly are less excited for you with each child. I can't imagine the reaction when and if we have #4 or 5. I already felt like people were kind of blah about having #2....
I don't get the judgment when people are capable, responsible adults who love their kids...however many there are.

It is so true that people are more "blah" about each subsequent pregnancy. Telling people about #5 was not something I was excited about! Luckily, we didn't want to have 5 kids to please anyone else. Having four kids is a joy, and a lot of hard work, but I'm so happy that I'm married to a man who wanted a large family as well. I love having a "big" family

angelproberts · April 2011

I'm an only child and I hated it growing up so I always said I wanted at least 2 kids so since this baby is supposed to be a boy everyone is just assuming that I'm done. Granted I'm not like most of you ladies (married) and I'm on rough times right now, that by no means means I don't want more. I plan on having more just not as close together especially since LO#2 was a complete and total surprise. It really annoys me when my family says "oh you must be done now" because I am sooo not. But I know that I am a straight BIATCH right now so I think that may have something to do with my feelings.

kelleighxnicole · April 2011

My fiancee and I are still unsure as to what we'd like our future's plan to be for more babies, and although we're not aspiring to be anything like an episode of 19 kids and counting -- for the most part we're content to leave it in God's hands. Whatever is meant to be will be. But right now, two is a perfect number for us, and we're enjoying them. But since we have "one of each" (and don't get me wrong we're extremely happy to have both!), everyone's always saying "oh, that's it! you're all done now, snip snip!" to my hubby and "no more after this, eh?" to me. It's like anything else in the world I suppose though, everyone has their idea of what's perfect and how things 'should be.' But I say nature has it's own plan for all of us, and that every little booger baby is a miracle.

Even though I have my hands full, at the end of the day I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

runnergirl79 · April 2011

I'm not sure if we'll have another, but I kind of get the impression that others think three is plenty for us. And, it is for now. I would just like to feel that if my husband and I decided to have a fourth, others would be happy for us. I am not entirely confident that would be the case.

kcisthebombdotcom · April 2011

YES! Now that I have a boy and just had a girl, everyone assumes that we are done having kids. When I say we're considering another, they try to talk me out of it. Really, I don't get why it's any of their business. It's not like they're paying for a 3rd kid if we have one!

PhilsWife07 · April 2011

My mom tells me not to have anymore all the time. My dad assumes we're done at two and has warned us not have anymore. My ILs hope we have more

We plan on at least one more.

PhilsWife07 · April 2011

Mr.&MrsS:

We are done growing our family and we still get comments all the time. Dont I want to have a third so I can have a girl?!?! You know, like I can pull up at a McDonald's drive thru and order myself up a daughter. Who is to say that I wouldnt have another boy? (And in my eyes, IF I wanted a third I would have a third because I wanted another CHILD not because I wanted a specific gender. My life doesnt seem any less to me just because I dont have a daughter).

Wow, I guess I needed to get that off my chest!! Lol.

Amen sister! I still get comments when I'm out with just one of the boys and I tell someone I have another child at home. They ask, "A little girl?" Yeah, exactly. 'Cause when you have one gender you automatically get the other gender on your next try. Confused

And I'm super tired of the "are you going to try for a girl?" question. We'll be trying for a baby thanks. It'd be pretty messed up if we were only going to have a third in the hopes of having a girl.

PhilsWife07 · April 2011

CaitlinJ22:

I also think its sad when people suddenly are less excited for you with each child. I can't imagine the reaction when and if we have #4 or 5. I already felt like people were kind of blah about having #2....

I felt the same way. My ILs were excited and said they'd been wondering when we'd have another when we told them about #2, but my mom was downright rude, which I pretty much expected. She completely bummed me out telling me how much work it will be and how my relationship with DS1 was going to suffer like hers did with me when my sister came along (nice, eh?). I am so not looking forward to telling her about #3 some day and I think that sucks. She's a grandma! Aren't they supposed to be baby crazy? Huh?

TonyaCody06 · April 2011

I am worried we might be pregnant with #3 (unplanned at this moment..i'll test Tuesday) and I have already wondered how our families would react. We have always said 4 but I think we could easily have 5. I love being pregnant, love my children, love being a mommy, and love seeing my girls LOVE each other!!

Family size is a decision for the husband and wife and God to make. Why do people feel the need to judge and give unwanted advice/opinions?

I read someone's response on here a few days ago to "You have your hands full!"..."I'd rather have my hands full than empty!" I LOVE it! I think I will be using that one

Lambie. · April 2011

We are undecided as to whether or not we will have a third but I haven't even gotten this one out and people are already questioning our future plAns on a daily basis.

JMB22 · April 2011

We are undecided about our family size and I'm already feeling the pressure to have more children.

amc_banana · April 2011

We want 4 kiddos and I don't mind telling ppl even though the remarks come...my grandmother yesterday told me how I need to let my body rest from being pg so much..lol

The remarks of how hopefully this time I'll get a girl so I can be "done".

First of all...if I have a girl that doesn't mean I am "done" having kids.

Second of all whose to say I wouldn't be "done" if it was another boy? I love my DS and would certainly not feel "less" of a mom if I only had boys!

SpartanGirl · April 2011

We got so many comments about our "perfect family" after DS was born. People couldn't imagine why we would want more. Though now that we just had #4, people keep asking when we'll have another.

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