Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: FFFC!
You guys are the best
I think I liked potty training better. My dog figured it out in a few weeks. And he can't cry "no underwear".
Jen - Mom to Jillian (10/2008) and Hayden (4/2010)
My Blog
Oh, I know, it's totally a personal semantics thing. I guess I just like the idea that *they* are "learning" how it feels when they need to use the bathroom, "learning" to tell me that, and also "learning" the importance why they need to go in the potty rather than in diapers. I am more the one that will be trained to stick her on the can regularly, I think, LOL.
MSTie24 Thanks for the site that may work for us.
Caldwell he wears underwear at home and does really well. He knows when he has to go and always goes poop on the potty. He needs some help with the pants up and down and that is what daycare says that he has to be good at that before he can come in underwear. It just irritates me that they want him in pull ups because I think it is easier for them and they don't have to really "work" on helping him learn that skill.
We are looking at having him go to Sunnyside in Lake Stevens. So we may change anyway.
Caldwell what was your thoughts on Sunnyside I know Mason was there this year.
Oct 2011 3 1/2 years old.
Robert Williams Birth date 5/16/2008
Haha, I like cats best. You don't even have to train them, it's instinctual to use the litter box.
Ever since giving birth I don't like the cat any more. I was never a big fan of her to began with, but now I really can't stand her.
I haven't let her sit on my lap for longer than a minute, I don't pet her, kiss her, hold her, play with her (all things I used to do). I feed her, change her water, & clean the litter box but that's about it. If we didn't have a cat I'd be much happier but my husband likes her so she's sticking around. If it were up to me, she'd have a new home.
Jas and Ads are leaving this weekend to go see family and I have the house to myself. I am equally excited and terrified!! I have not had a weekend to not think about any else but myself in almost 3 years....I hope I still like myself.
Not a flame, but thank you for keeping her, she depends on you and pets are a lifetime commitment. I love watching DD interact with our cats, she loves them very much and you can tell. I hope that in time you will be able to enjoy you cat more again, especially as you see your baby light up when watching her as ours does. We have 7 pets so they definitely don't get the same kind of attention they did before DD was born, but we try to give them as many scritches, pets and snuggles as we can so they remember they are loved too. Just keep in mind that she may begin to act out if she feels "replaced" so try to give her love whenever you can so she knows she is still an important part of your family. May I ask if there is a reason why you are not a fan (maybe just not a cat person?) Sometimes the truly fun side of cats needs a little bit of extra "persuasion" to come out and I'd be happy to share some thoughts with you if you'd like.
house party!
BlueLu, Amy, hugs.
I have pretended to be asleep more than once this week so DH would take a midnight coughing fit/wakeup.
My old daycare lady is still watching kids. It's driving me nuts. Every other day someone calls or finds me to tell me, as if I can fix it. I called the licensor and she's going to do another surprise inspection today. She did one last week and the daycare lady just explained that she was "just watching her friend's kids while the friend was at work" as if that's not bleeping daycare! Argh. I have had to stop myself multiple times from standing in front of her home all day and giving all the parents a copy of the suspension letter. WTF. Why aren't these parents looking on the state website, which clearly shows her license is suspended????
On the good side, she was referred to the prosecutor for criminal charges for leaving K on the bed, alone, with hard floors. I'm not going to lie, I'm pissed that my baby is going to now have an involvement in the criminal records system, even as a victim. I don't want her name in the database.
WTF!!! That is crazy, it's too bad we can't do some kind of Bumpie Sting. That would be awesome, totally set her up. Keep us posted on what happens.
Mine is kind of related to Bluelu's confession.
I get really really angry (like quiet, shaky angry) when I hear people get scornful about women who kill their children. I don't know why I have such a strong reaction. I mean, I know there are straight up psychopaths out there, but I just feel like the act of killing your children is so unnatural, so unfathomable, that any woman who does that must be suffering in a way that I can't begin to understand. She must have not gotten any of the support she needed, and I think that it's not fair to lay blame.
And so many women suffer from depression, and let it get worse and worse, out of shame. Out of being afraid they'll be called a bad mother. After a baby is born there are all sorts of well-baby visits, but IMO not enough well-mother visits.
I just wanted to give you a high five for being awesome! So many people put blinders up and ignore issues, and I think you're great for going with your gut.
This seriously almost made me cry! Thanks for making me feel like I'm not a crazy mom!
Don't be embarrassed, I'm glad you have a place where you *can* confess this stuff! Good for you for taking time to yourself. I know it's kind of dorky, but sometimes writing a letter to DH helps me to process what I really need from him, what I really want to change, and what is and isn't necessary for me to bring up with him. Do you have any time during a day that you can have some "L-time"? I need my 10'oclock bath to just think, read, not be touched.
Does E go down for bed at the same time as O? Take some time to reflect on what you need to change, what are some realistic changes you could see your DH taking on, etc.
So glad you're feeling better. Not sure if you really wanted the advice, but there you have it.
W is delayed on his gross motor skills. I'm super sensetive to watching his pals climb around while he just lays there. Our pedi referred us to the Kindering Center in Bellevue for an evaluation. They've recommended in-home pt using play to encouragemhim to try because of a 25% delay. We haven't started pt yet, but I've been impressed with the center overall, and I'm glad we got an evaluation. You're NOT a crazy mom.
Usually I am a cat person but this cat just isn't my favorite.
My cat (Yasha) died 2 years ago & our current cat (Zola) was adopted a few months after my cat died. I had Yasha for 6 years (she was adopted as an older cat, the shelter estimated she was 8 years old when I adopted her) & I think it just wasn't enough time in between cats for me to heal from Yasha's death. I loved my cat to pieces & when she died I didn't want another cat but my husband did so I went along with it. In hindsight, I wish I would have told him I wanted to wait before adopting again but we didn't and it is what it is.
Zola has definitely gotten way less attention from me although my husband still makes sure she gets loving from him (he's always been her favorite). I do need to make a conscious effort to pay more attention to her - I'm not mean to her I just kinda ignore her & she ignores me unless she wants food or a quick scratch session.
Thanks for the gentle reminder about pets being a pet lifetime commitment & yes, any ideas you have to help coax the fun side out of Zola would be great. Yasha was strictly a lap cat whereas Zola doesn't want to sit on anyone's lap unless it's her idea.
This is very well put. I completely agree.
There is a guy in my department at work who is gay. He hasn't told any of us (well except one person), but it's quite obvious... and he keeps trying to setup conversation with me to get me to ask him. I want to just tell him "I KNOW" but not sure how. Ideas?
My husband is driving me nuts lately. [I just typed and retyped ten times the reasons why I'm frustrated with him but it's all just blah blah blah blahhhh stuff, so I'm just leaving it at that] HE DRIVES ME NUTS.
Baby website / My blog
One of the Mom's in my baby group enrolled her daughter in Kindering at about 14mo. She was really nervous...but they ended up LOVING it and treated it as an extracurricular class basically. Our whole group got together last weekend and her daughter was as sturdy and mobile (we had an egg hunt) as the rest of the 20 month olds...it was amazing to see!
Ditto the others! My little guys have developmental delays in different areas (and are ahead in others) and if you feel something is wrong that is great that you want to push the issue. Even things that you aren't so sure about. Like my friends kept mentioning to me that my girls didn't take their bottles well. I didn't realize it, but I bought it up and the pedi send in a PT group Encompass (like the Kindering Center) and they found that they are silent aspirators and that milk is sitting in their lungs which can cause choking and illness. I didn't know! So, I wanted to give you a high-five too
Steal my kids picture or pretend they are yours, I will find where you live and ship all of their dirty diapers to your doorstep. Promise.
I agree too!
And blulu and Amy and anyone else who has felt out of control mad/stressed/overwhelmed/aggravated.... I've been there too. A few times too many over this winter actually. I have screamed so loud at Ben that I think I scared him. And I am so hoping he never remembers his mommy acting like that.
Being a mommy is hard work, and when you're overwhelmed and on your own with nowhere to get a break, it's hard to find a good way to cope. I'm trying super hard to stop being a yeller. I even got a book from the library called something like Scream Free Parenting. My FFFC is that I haven't even opened it. I get all of these parenting books from the library and I just never get around to even looking at them. I dont' know why I can't get it together to read and learn what I need to.
Oh and I also will go for a long drive hoping to knock one or both of the kids into a nap and listen to music and drive through Starbucks. It's a way to destress and keep everyone safe from my wrath.
My other FFFC is that I know I need to work on Cooper's sleep habits and I just can't get my act together to do it. What is it with me and being too lazy to change things that would make my life better?
Leanne and Anne -
I totally feel both of you. I have been overwhelmed more than I would like to admit and yell too much. I think that we all take on way too much ... and people are way to quick to judge and so we feel guilty. Not fair.
My FFFC is that on my way home today (ok, every day) I pass the highschool and cant help but check out all the guys in their baseball pants... then I remember I am over 10 years older than most of them and feel bad, but still keep looking.
OMG, i feel you 10000%.
Lunch next week? Or HH after work??
Ask him if he's dating anyone and if not say you have a guy you want him to meet?
Hugs to Leanne, Amy and all the other mamas who need them (which really is all of us at one time or another). Please let me know if there's anything I can do--L, you can always drop one or both kids off with me for a bit and take some time for yourself. You are working really long days now with B back in school and you definitely need some time alone! Or if you want to grab coffee or dinner or whatever, I'm game.
And MOH Jen, add me to the list of high-fivers. I know how hard it is to not see your kid doing what s/he should. For me, getting evaluated was reassurance in and of itself...either they'd tell us there wasn't a delay, or they'd confirm it and we'd get some help, which of course is what happened. But knowing that a professional would do testing was reassuring. And even though he did have significant gross motor delay, it was nice to hear he was ahead in fine motor, and same later on with expressive and receptive speech. If you have any questions or want to vent, I'm here!
Hugs to everyone - there are SO many great mamas here and you all deserve major kudos for being there for your kids when it's rough.
I wish I had some wise words to help, but I'm still figuring it out myself and not sure if I'm doing a decent job of juggling working and mommying. However, my door is always open on evenings/weekends if you need to stop in to vent or have a glass of wine or adult interaction!
My FFFCs:
I'm trying to wait until E is 6 months old to start solids, but she is so darn eager to eat. Last week she grabbed part of my toast while I was eating and I just let her have it and suck on it, and today she had a great time chomping on my banana. I don't think I'll quite stick it out.
I feel like I'm late to all the conversations on here since I can rarely bump from work. It's silly, but by the time I'm home and have free time to chat, sometimes I think, "everyone else has moved on, so why bother commenting?"
YES!!!! Love bumpies
High five to all of you!! For being great mamas and taking advantage of the resources that are available to you & your kiddos! Early intervention can be so successful to help kids catch up, and, on behalf of other EI professionals, we *love* working with your sweet babies!!
I'm with ya. I feel like I have such a short fuse lately, but it's like one thing after another and eventually reach a limit.
I might have to crash your date.
Um, this is awesome.
Bio & Blog | The Chic Bambino | Bumps & Babies Fair
I feel like this a lot, and sometimes feel silly because my comment is always the last one. But...no one has ever said anything ever to me, and I think it's just something we notice ourselves! Still comment, we want to hear your opinion!
I'm kinda shy too incase you haven't noticed...:) But yes lets get together. I'm sure the boys will have a good time together. I'm also let you hold Syd so you can get some practice holding onto a little girl!
I've been trying to wait till Syd was 6months too and I have failed! Tonight I gave her some french bread to play with and keep her occupied while we all ate dinner and she was going to town on it. I might pick up some avocado this weekend.
Also now I'm the last person commenting and I hate that... lol
fixed