I feel like less of a mother. I was robbed. Sort of a FFFC

kspies · April 2011

I am so sorry you're going through this. Please don't let anybody lead you to believe you're wrong for feeling that way. You have a right to your emotions, and to grieve the birth you wanted or imagined. When people say "all that matters is a healthy baby in the end," it is dismissive and disrespectful of the mother's experience in birth (I haven't read those words in this thread, but it is so often said to mothers who are coming to terms with their birth). It is an experience you share with your child. As PPs said, it would probably be a good idea to talk to somebody who will listen and understand. You deserve to be heard and empathized with.

kehgirl · April 2011

kspies:
I am so sorry you're going through this. Please don't let anybody lead you to believe you're wrong for feeling that way. You have a right to your emotions, and to grieve the birth you wanted or imagined. When people say "all that matters is a healthy baby in the end," it is dismissive and disrespectful of the mother's experience in birth (I haven't read those words in this thread, but it is so often said to mothers who are coming to terms with their birth). It is an experience you share with your child. As PPs said, it would probably be a good idea to talk to somebody who will listen and understand. You deserve to be heard and empathized with.

I got this late but thank you very much kspies

PaulandShawna · April 2011

kehgirl - I usually lurk here looking ahead, but I TOTALLY and completely understand what you are going through - please PM me if you wish.

I went in for my induction at 39 weeks due to chronic high BP...I don't remember the drive in to the hospital, I don't remember my almost 24 hours of labor, I don't remember ANYTHING (though I was awake at the time) because I DIED during childbirth and came back - though in a coma for over a week after that. I had CPR and an emergency c-section because I went into cardiopulmonary arrest. I didn't meet or hold my son for 18 days, he was home a while before I was even released. I had developed Peripartum Cardiomyopathy (pregnancy-induced heart failure) and the symptoms are so similar to regular pregnancy symptoms that we had no idea at all. 1 in 4,000 women develop this and it's rare. I totally understand your feelings, I didn't feel like a mom at ALL when I came home. My MIL was living in my home taking care of my 2 week old child I had never met. I am still bitter about it, though logically I know it was what needed to be done and I'm thankful she was able to do that - but these feelings are illogical. My husband (who witnessed everything) and I are both dealing with post-traumatic stress. I'm sure it all takes time...it's been 4.5 months and it's as fresh as if it just happened and I'm in counseling to deal with it and it helps.

You are NOT alone in your feelings and they are completely normal!

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I feel like less of a mother. I was robbed. Sort of a FFFC

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