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September 2011 Moms
italnprncss78
member
I thought we were here to SUPPORT one another? *vent*
italnprncss78
member
I am fairly new to posting and joining in on discussions. I love the posts that ask serious questions about pregnancy because even though I am going to be a mom for the 2nd time, I for sure do not have everything figured out and I love to see other mothers opinions on the situation. But then I run across the posts that are just horrible. Name calling and such...aren't we supposed to be grown women? Well I mean I know I am. I am 32 years old and I am in awe of some of you being so mean and judgemental. Not everyone is going to parent the way you do, but that is the wonderful thing about being a mom, we all have our own parenting style.
I just wish that posts would refrain from the harshness that has been showing more recently. I understand in post like UO, there are going to be disagreements...but the point is knowing we all have DIFFERENT opinions.
Just a little rant from me...a newbie who was really liking all the useful information, but is now thinking twice if this is the place for me?
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Re: I thought we were here to SUPPORT one another? *vent*
I really haven't noticed any judgement or harshness. I have encountered that on other boards but for the most part the Sept board is quite friendly. We have strong opinions here, but I think for the most part we agree to disagree and don't resort to name-calling etc.
Even when there is a disagreement, I feel there is still a level of respect maintained here. Did I miss something?
This.
Although I am not familiar with what particular posts you are referring to I would have to agree. This is supposed to be a place to get opinions and such and to each their own, but I have (in the past) seen some pretty harsh stuff on here. I guess that's why I really try not to post too much, fear of being flamed. But this is my first and I would love a place to go to get advice and not have to fear that!
This. An internet forum, being made up of dozens (sometimes hundreds on an active board) of posters, is bound to be a place that attracts a wide variety of personalities and posting styles. It's up to each of us to choose how we participate and contribute, and what we ignore.
Bemoaning the fact that there are posts/responses in a style you don't care for is the last thing that will create the environment you are looking for.
Edit - posters
www.homeofthehonakers.blogspot.com
Haha...no, I'm not that sensitive. I definitely take all opinions to heart.
i've noticed that some boards are very very "honest" but, we have to understand, that most of us are pretty hormonal and yes, maybe judgemental. (i do believe op was talking about the dog post from second tri) i learned the hard way that if i ask for an opinion, i will get it. whether i like it or not it will be said. it's just a bunch of women ranting.
sidenote: i have noticed that our little september board is very very mild compared to other boards... hence why i stay here:)
Make a pregnancy ticker
I haven't seen anything either, but I wasn't on for about a week or two.
I think our board is awesome too and haven't seen anything, so I don't know what to go back to. I am so sorry you are feeling this way!
In all fairness, if you want a true dose of honesty and harshness, don't go over to the name board. Yikes!
? So what is this post about??? Now I am curious!
I think if anything, YOU need to gain a little perspective. This is a forum full of hundreds of women, from all over, all different traditions, upbringings, personalities, etc. I could go on. This board, is one of the most drama, judgement free boards on TB. If you don't believe me, try the tri boards.
I will never understand why one person thinks they can dictate how a board of hundreds works. Never ever will I get that.
Okay, well since you are new, I will let you know that posting this type of thing usually doesn't go over too well. Since you haven't given any specifics, it kind of comes across like we're all just a bunch of b!tches. You want people to act like adults--perhaps the adult thing to do, if you were offended by something someone said, would be to pm that person and confront them personally? When you make a post like this instead, it makes you seem passive aggressive. I'm not trying to be mean--I'm really trying to help you understand the way the board works. We do get into some really heated discussions sometimes. But then we move on, and at the end of the day, we've all got each other's backs. We would love for you to be a part of that, and we'd love to have your back too. But when you come in basically attacking the whole board, you kind of alienate yourself. Does that make sense?
I agree with the others. I think if people know what posts or issues you're referring to, that would make a big difference. I can definitely see, even from the responses you've gotten, that people are civil and genuinely want to understand what you're talking about.
To give you an idea or how nice this board is, if you want to have some fun, write this same post on 2nd tri or a babies age board or something. Then watch yourself go up in flames! This place is tame, really.
I'm really confused. I don't think I've seen any posts on this board that I could consider unsupportive or harsh.
Except for this one.
It is NOT just on this board. I am talking generalization for the message boards. Like I said I am a 'newbie' and I am lurking on a few, 2nd tri, being one of them and they are harsh there. I am learning that there are certain people who 'run' certain boards. It is almost like in high school and you really wanted to be one of the cool kids. LOL. I will agree 100% that this board the, September 2011, is my favorite board to be apart of...hense my decision to post my 'vent' on here, because I feel I would get honest feedback regarding my opinion. You ladies are the few I have fun posting with.
This. This kind of post just pisses people off. If you are upset about something, say it. Don't beat around the bush. There is nothing on this board that offends me and actually I think it's a great place to chat and get to know people and share in pregnancy details. Considering no one even knows what you are talking about, this accusation you are making just causes drama for yourself.
Haha it was an amazing warm fuzzy fest
. I love our September board, reading some of the 2nd tri stuff just gets me annoyed and then I come over here where it's all love and support 
"I am in awe of some of you being so mean and judgemental."
When you said that, it came across (to me at least) that you were attacking people on this board, not 2nd tri. I do agree with your original sentiment--we should be acting like adults, and not calling names. I don't know what happened on 2nd tri to inspire this, but I can imagine. Just be careful when you vent that it doesn't sound like you're calling out the wrong people!
And the clouds parted, and the birds sang . . . and it all made sense.
Okay then! That would have really helped if you had said that in your original post, because everyone was scrambling to figure out what you're talking about.
I think you'll find that most people around here agree with you, there are some threads that get carried away and turn into bullying, name-calling, and just some general mud-slinging. Not on this board, but on other boards. You've got to shop around and see what you like and where you'd like to stay.
I often ask questions that would be better on-topic on other boards because this is my "home" board and this is where I post 99% of the time. I may lurk other places, but I don't really participate. Just like everything else in life, you have to pick and choose what is for you and what's not.
And that is absolutely not my intention...I just posted back to some of the 'what are you talking about' posts. Like I said I really like this board which is why I posted here. Since I am new I was hoping some of you could shine some light on what I was talking about. And YOU have completely explained, in a very civil way, which I appreciate 100%. I love all your posts...I reply to many of them. Maybe I'll stop with the other boards and just stay here...because yes...it is MUCH tamer than the lions den
This exactly!
THIS
Sorry...I'm getting the hang of it!!
Thanks for clarifying.
And I agree on just letting go of the other boards. I don't know what it is that makes us different, but I absolutely love this board. The tri boards were just pissing me off, so I finally just quit going there. Also, glad I came across as civil. I re-read what I wrote, and I worried it could be taken wrong.
Here:
I never understood why people think this is a support group. It is a message board for a bunch of moms going through the same experience. Sure, support is given, but often not freely. We build friendships, share our experiences, and offer advice/encouragement. But it's a two way street and you get what you give. So we also call people out when they are out of line or we dissagree. And of course people are going to clash sometimes and some are bound to get out of line, that's life.
Seriously though, I'll try to be more grown-up and supportive.
Maybe you were talking about other boards, like you said, but it came off sort of preachy.
Yeah, there are some nasty women on some of the other boards. We are pretty nice here. Because I live vicariously through other's drama, I love to lurk on the drama boards (usually the month boards and the tri boards).
I think there was a little bit of that at first, but as we've gotten to know each other, I think that has really gone away for the most part, and we've all become really supportive of each other, even when we strongly disagree.