Two Under 2

You know, I think we actually get more positive comments.

We live in an area where the average age of women at their first marriage is 31 (I think - don't quote me, I haven't seen the stats in a while). So to be having our 2nd so close to our first, and especially at the age we are (I was 23 when DD was born), is pretty unusual. The negative comments I've gotten have been mostly from people my own age, but most of the people I've talked to of my grandparents' generation have been very supportive. I've had more than one stop me to tell me how great it is to have them one after the other, and to be a young wife/mother. Anyone else noticed this trend?
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Re: You know, I think we actually get more positive comments.

  • It's funny that you say that, since I notice the opposite. I also live in an area where the average marriage age is much older (new england is ridiculously expensive!!) and when I got married at 24, I got so much crticism that I was "too young" from both my peers and people who were my parents generation.

    I do notice that more people around my age are critical of 2u2 while people of my grandparents generation are supportive. My grandmother had 2u2 numerous time (she had 4 kids in 5 years!) so she tells me all the time I have it easy. lol! 

    I also noticed when I was pregnant the women who said 2u2 was going to be so hard were people who were childless/had 1 child and the ones who actually had 2u2 said it was tough in the beginning but overall manageable.

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  • imageKC_13:

    It's funny that you say that, since I notice the opposite. I also live in an area where the average marriage age is much older (new england is ridiculously expensive!!) and when I got married at 24, I got so much crticism that I was "too young" from both my peers and people who were my parents generation.

    I do notice that more people around my age are critical of 2u2 while people of my grandparents generation are supportive. My grandmother had 2u2 numerous time (she had 4 kids in 5 years!) so she tells me all the time I have it easy. lol! 

    I also noticed when I was pregnant the women who said 2u2 was going to be so hard were people who were childless/had 1 child and the ones who actually had 2u2 said it was tough in the beginning but overall manageable.

    This is us too... OP, I wish I lived where you did, I just turned 24 when I had DS1 and I wish people in my area were more positive about 2 under 2 and/or having large families.  I LOVE the "older generation" that just gawks at my kids and says how "lovely" they are, I'd be on cloud 9 if that's all I heard all day

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  • ayramayram member
    In my family/friend/church circle, it's not unusual to have 2u2, or big families close together in age, or younger parents, so we don't get many negative comments.  It's more just the neighbours (you're pregnant again??) and strangers.
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  • Our close family and friends would never say anything because DH and I dealt with years of infertility and pregnancy loss before we hit the jackpot with our two kids.

    But strangers... eh, I would say it is 70/30 with 70% being positive reactions and 30% being critical/negative.  The most brazen of the negative reactions was a furniture saleswoman who came up, looked at them, asked how far apart they are, and then said "wow. that wasn't planned, was it?".  I just gave her a look and said "none of your business" and walked out of the store.  Sometimes I want to say the truth ("well, we had a miscarriage early on, then took another 18 months to get pregnant with twins, lost a twin in the process, had a preemie, and were prepping for IVF #2 when we got the surprise of our life.... So no, not 'planned' - MIRACULOUS and wonderful".  Biotch.

     

  • I've heard more positive comments than I expected to hear, that's for sure.  I am surprised at how many people think it's great to have them close in age.  I agree with you though... it does seem to be the older people that say that.  Although I guess I've heard it from some younger ones, too... because they have 2U2 themselves, lol.
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  • I had to think long and hard to remember one negative comment I've gotten. Most of what I get is just "your hands are full." Occasionally someone comments that I'm "blessed."
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  • interestingly...where I live I am young to be having 2 under 2 and I am 30 :)  None of my friends or my husbands friends have even one child yet let alone being married !  I got married at 23 so we were considered "young".  I think the same people criticize no matter how old you are.  My mom was 42 and 43 when she had her 2 under 1 (these are my brother and sister who are 12 and 13 years younger than me), and she still got criticism! 
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