- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 3 - 6 Months
Rinny22
member
Question from a lurker
Rinny22
member
I am a WAHM, so I don't get a chance to post often, but I do enjoy reading posts from you ladies in between projects!! Thanks for keeping me entertained! 
Ok, my question is this...would you be offended if a family member requested that you not bring your baby to a family wedding? I am in a wedding next week, and was asked by the Mother of the bride what I plan to do with my 3 mo. old that day...I was kinda like
uhh, bringing him with? She asked me if I could leave him at home....the problem is,I EBF and he doesn't take a bottle, we've tried and failed! I guess I can kind of understand if someone doesn't want a crying baby there, but I would have someone take care of him during the actual ceremony, like just outside the sanctuary in the nursery part of the church, so it's not like he'd interrupt the actual wedding. Since I WAH, there's no reason for me to bottle feed, and I quite honestly don't want to fight to do it just for one day! And couldn't they have told me this in advance? I guess part of me is a little hurt that they don't want my son there...he's part of the family too!
Am I being unreasonable? What do you think? I need opinions from other mom's!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Question from a lurker
Yes, I'd be offended. Did you explain to her that you EBF? If not, I'd tell her.
I would also tell her your plan of having someone watch him during the ceremony to prevent any interruption. As a mother herself, she should understand that.
-
Beta #1: 4/1 - 51.5 Beta #2: 4/3 - 189 Beta #3: 4/6 - 778.9
AMH: 1.06 FSH: 10.7
DS: 11/2010 Clomid + HCG Trigger + IUI + Progesterone
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
Honest truth - I would never expect that it would be acceptable for me to bring a 3 month old to a wedding, much less one that I am in, and I also ebf.
But with that said, I totally see the dilemma since your LO won't take a bottle. Since you already committed to being in the wedding, I would see if a friend or your SO's family could watch your LO and just bring him to the wedding and you could nurse in the car, then they could go. I know its not ideal, but I don't know what else I would do.
Yes, there will be several other children there...even the 9 mo. old of DD of the photographer! of course his spouse will be taking care of her wile he photographs, but she will still be "present"
I see your point. I was panicking as to what to do with LO when my aunt specifically asked if I was bringing LO to my cousins wedding. I told her probably not, and she requested that we bring him. SWEET!!
I explained that I EBF and told her "he doesn't take a bottle we've tried"...this is what she told me...."maybe you could feed him solids for the day"...SERIOUSLY? This is from a close family member, I am kinda stunned about the whole situation!
The fact that there are other children there would irritate me. If it were strictly a no-child wedding, then I would understand the point of not bringing the baby.
Have you asked the bride?
If you asked me this a year and a half ago, I would have said H$LL yes I understand thier perspective, I wouldnt want any screaming, crying brats at my wedding either.
Now that I am a mother and have a six month old, I would be TOTALLY offended that someone didnt want my baby there! He is my WORLD and if you dont want him there, I dont want to be there!
My, how things change after you have a baby!
I had to bring my baby to work for an hour this morning and I was ready to tell my boss to F*ck off if he said anything to me about it!
That being said, if the baby starting fussing, I do think someone should bring him outside.
Good Luck!
Okay now THAT I would be offended by
I can see your point...but this is a family member, and we've been to other recent weddings on this side of the family, and there have been kids there, so I just assummed....
My question is why did they wait till now to tell me this? Ya know!?
I'm another one who didn't have children at her wedding. But, we made this very clear to our friends with children very early on, mainly because we didn't want anyone (us or our friends) to be surprised, but also because our wedding was in my home state, a 4 hour flight away. Some chose not to come (and some probably wouldn't have come anyway due to travel costs), some left their kids with family members and enjoyed a kid free weekend, and some traveled with their kids and used the babysitters that we found (one family used a babysitter for the first time).
One of our groomsmen, after wrangling his 18-mo son during the rehearsal ceremony, told my husband, "I can see now why you didn't want kids. that was crazy."
So, I wouldn't be offended at the no-kids policy, but I would be bothered that it wasn't communicated earlier. And as a bride-to-be I would have been wiling to try to work out a compromise with someone who was BFing and whose child didn't take a bottle (but I would have understood it a lot less before I became a mom).
BFP #2 5/27/12. EDD 2/1/13. m/c and D&C 6/21/12.
Amy, you and I are on the same exact page here.
But to OP - I'm sorry its inconveniencing you. Like I mentioned, as a fellow ebf'er I know it can be annoying to plan.
I appreciate the blunt-ness! I don't wanna get my panties in a bunch about this wedding thin, and be all huffy puffy if I'm being irrational! We've tried everything your supposed to to get this boy to take a bottle...and I'm sure if we kept at it he'd eventually take it...he's got to eat sometime....but with my situation since I am home...I just didn't see the point of forcing him to...ya know...I've read that once they do solids, and you can start with a sippy cup (around 5-6 months) and we'll try to put BM in that...I know it;s going to be along year, but it works for us for now
Anyhow, back to the wedding thing...I guess I just feel like my LO is being singled out since other kids will be there...It's not an "adult only" affair
Anyhow, back to the wedding thing...I guess I just feel like my LO is being singled out since other kids will be there...It's not an "adult only" affair
Sorry to keep posting on this, but do you think that maybe they are just worried that you'll be distracted taking care of LO instead of the responsibilities of being in a wedding? All in all it just sounds sticky and I'm sorry you don't have more time to figure it out
No, his name wasn't on either...they asked my to be in the wedding before he was born...
I just never thought it would be an issue to bring him, maybe that was totally my bad! but I mean, why would I know that it wouldn't be ok? They are having a 4 and 5 year old as the flower girl/ring bearer?!
No, but that's a good idea! I just didn't want to put her on the spot, it's her day...and she should have it her way, but I just think they should've let me know because now I'm in a bind! But maybe her mom was just being difficult?!
My mom took me to my uncle's wedding when I was 3 mos. old. She said I slept in her lap covered with a linen napkin, hehe.
I had young kids at my wedding so I don't see the big deal, esp. for an EBF infant. I think if they're allowing other kids it's not fair to exclude yours and I think you're right to be annoyed at that.
This
The weird thing is...It was never discussed earlier...
Children are actually IN the wedding too, and I know several other kids will be there. I don't want to be a PITA about it, but I am now seriously unsure what I am going to do!
I think I am going to start by calling the bride! Thanks for all the input!
I guess I see your point...it just feels weird to me I guess...but I had kids at my wedding and never thought not to have them. My knowledge on wedding ettiquete must be way off!
I think this is the bottom line. Stop focusing on other children being there/not being there. The mom just told you you have one week to figure out what to do with your EBF DS. That was rude of them, and now you have to figure out what to do next. Call the bride.
I would just call the bride and talk it over with her. The more you sit and think about it all, the more aggitated you will be and it could be all for nothing.
Hope things work out!
I think so too, personally I couldn't see my own mother getting involved with anything unless I specifically asked her.
I would completely agree with this if the OP wasn't in the wedding.
To me, there should be more intimate discussion and knowledge of what is expected much further in advance considering her being in the wedding doesn't really leave her the option of not showing up.
This is what I am afraid of! I guess we'll find out! I guess if they really don't want my LO there (even though other people will have their children there...sorry but I'm kinda stuck on that) I'll have to have my mom-who was going to watch LO in a back part of the church during the ceremony anyway- bring him to the church right before the ceremony so I can feed him--which should be fun because I'll have to completely undress so I don't wrinkle the dress...oh and I can't forget about all the picture time before hand...ugh!
Then she'll probably have to hang out in town for a while with him until the wedding is over and I'll feed him in between the wedding and reception...I'll probably end up ducking out early so she doesn't have to basically be sitting in a car for hours with him.
<sigh> I really wish I would've know this earlier, I never would have agreed to be in the wedding...but I've already committed so I'll have to make it work...
Oh, and I'll post a F/U....thanks for all the input ladies!
Exactly.
At first, I was going to say no she shouldn't be offended.
Then I saw that not only are there other kids/babies invited, but MOB only gave her a week notice! That's BS and would definitely piss me off.
Call the bride. Even if she had her mom call you, you should talk to her directly about this. If you're close enough friends to be in the wedding, you should be able to work it out with her.