Would you move? Anyone from South Bay CA area?

sunmountain · April 2011

So we may be faced w/ a decision to move to somewhere in or around Palo Alto, CA. I am about 80% sure do not want to go for a number of reasons particularly because most of our family is here and helps with the kids. I've been to this area of California but not in at least 5 years or so and not with the mindset of "could I move here w/ two kids 3 & under". It would be a really great opportunity for DH, financially it could be a great thing for us long term (although way more expensive there for day-to-day living) and the weather is better but I don't really mind the weather here in all honesty. I am just not big on change and sometimes need to be forced into things I think I don't want to do. This is just so huge though and I feel like I just recovered from the worst year of my life w/ moving back to our new house (another reason to stay) a new baby and DH has had a new job where he is and traveled a ton. This just seems like I'm asking to be ticked off and stressed out all over again w/ no help from family.

Is anyone from there/lived there or just plain moved away from everyone you know/love familiar with w/ kids? I had to as a kid and hated it but is it worth it even for a couple of years for your spouse's ideal job (he would take in a heartbeat if I said okay)?

thank you for reading this far! Very stressed about this.

ohyeahdollface · April 2011

(bumping from my phone so the format of this post might be horrible) Sorry you are faced with a tough decision, that is never easy! I have not lived in Palo Alto, but I grew up in Cali. More so East bay (Fairfield, Concord, Vallejo area). Palo Alto is still pretty nice, but in all towns/cities you just have to avoid the less desireable areas. Weather, yes, is pretty decent as most of Cali is. That is the thing I miss the most! Also, I have moved away from ALL of my family. Kidless, yes, but it was still hard. After a while it gets easier, but the support is the one thing that I miss a lot. We moved around often as a kid too, and THAT was hard. New schools, friends, and routines. With the economy, we are planning another move too. Sometimes its unavoidable when the job situation comes to play. I hope you find what will be best for you!! Good Luck and best wishes!

WatchPot · April 2011

I spend a decent amount of time down in Silicon Valley for work and yes, I would consider moving BUT we don't have family here and only a very small group of "close" friends so I wouldn't feel like I was leaving much. And I HATE the weather here (maybe it's the constant rain lately, I realize it's not always like this).

When we moved here with out knowing anyone we actualy learned a great deal about ourselves as a couple and as a family I don't think we would have learned if we stayed where we were comfortable. I'm not saying I don't hate being away from everyone, missing everything, but I would definately do it again. Our relationship is stronger, it brings me a lot of pride that we could do it and we have had some incredible experiences because of it.

A few things:

It's not too far away and flights are reasonable
there are a lot of PNW transplants there because of the tech centers
You can always move back

I know it's an incredibly tough decision. If you do decide to move I know a family moving at the end of June and they have 2 kids, so I'll hook you up with an instant connection!

Seattle_JiLLn · April 2011

I haven't lived there but I know someone there and they are trying to buy their first house. They are in bidding wars over 1500 sf houses that need a lot of work and are trying to keep it at $1.2 million. That alone would make me really think hard about it. Living away from your family wouldn't be the hard part. We don't live near family and it's ok except for needing to find a sitter.

MissLauraQ · April 2011

I'm from Calif. Grew up in So Cal - live in Sac Valley (but my sister lives Walnut Creek and her hubby from San Raphel)

I moved to Seattle back in 2004, and because I was far away from my mom, and I have small children it was terribly hard. That's the first thing I'd tell you! If you have a hubby that takes alot of the child rearing maybe it won't be bad - but if you are the mom who does everything - I wouldn't go. And that's no matter where you would move!

But I could not hack the weather - it is so cold there for such a long long time, and DARK! Being a Californian, it was too much weather shock. I got massively depressed, and I'm a perky person. Never been depressed in my life.

And being from Calif - it was hard for me to be a parent there. I felt we were locked up in the house nearly year round because of the weather - just to go to the park I'd have to bundle my children up each and every time - and standing there - I couldn't stan it more then 10 minutes. SInce I was from Calif and warmer sunnier weather it was very confusing. People that grew up there have an easier time with it.

But I finally got to move back to Calif in 2009, and love it. The depression went away and my kids and I are outside all the time.

IdahoGirl · April 2011

Reading Comprehension Fail: I just realized you were said Palo Alto, not Pales Verdes. I don't know where I got Southern California - it's in your dang post title. South Bay. DUH.

I've lived in So Cal, I went to university there from 1991 to 1995 and that was 15 years ago. Having said that, the cost of living down there is dramatically higher than here. Dramatically. My friends from university that started their careers in the greater LA basin and then started families there have all moved out or are in the process of trying to move out.

For the price you pay to live there, the schools aren't so hot and the weather isn't all THAT great and the economy sucks.

Should weather be a factor, there are lots of other places you could move.

And - as someone who moved away from my family and then started my own family and am now in Seattle permanently (unless something dramatic were to change with DH's job....and even then, he still wouldn't move to my hometown), I really miss my family. It's huge to not have your own support network that is *yours*, not one you've adopted (even though you may be close).

theresab · April 2011

A couple questions that come to my mind - how secure is this opportunity? Assuming his current job is secure, with this economy I would be hesitant to take a potential risky position especially since it wound entail uprooting the family.

Is there any way for your husband to work remotely?

I don't know that I could move, we also have family here and I'm not big on California (traffic, cost of living, too hot ) so both those things would play into my mind.

My initial reaction is that I wouldn't want to move and would have to take at least 1 trip to the area to be convinced to look into all aspects of life with kids in the area, And salary would have to make up for cost-of-living differences to maintain a similar lifestyle.

Good luck

bunch · April 2011

We moved from the East Bay (Berkeley) without family to here with family. We had such an amazing group of friends down there, and we really miss them. They easily helped with kids, and sometimes it was easier to call a mom friend and ask to take a shower than to call my own mom/sil. Because mom friends are going through it at the same time.

Also, the bump community down there rocks. I'm still part of that board too. And the south bay girls get together a lot and are really really supportive. You'd have an instant support system if you did move down there. And the mom's groups in the South Bay are pretty awesome too.

We'd probably make the move, because I'd know that I'd have a support system (of friends) and DH just really wants to move back. If you want, you might want to throw a note onto the NorCal bump board to introduce yourself- ask for mom's groups, etc...

MissLauraQ · April 2011

Oh duh! I was backwards - you are moving from Seattle to South Bay! Not South Bay to Seattle.

I still wouldn't move - friends and family while you have little kids are so crazy important.

PS I'm also part of the NorCal Bump - but here mostly

LifesPeachy · April 2011

We did- we moved here from Delaware in October- away from all my family.. my twin sister and her babies and my parents. All my friends. We are FAR. CA is not so bad.. you can hopefully find cheap flights and come back often. DE is so far and the flights are so expensive, makes it hard to go home or family to come out here.

But It was an awesome opportunity for DHs career.. so here we are! It is hard to move from everything you know and love but this has overall been great for us. My twin sister is coming out to visit on Thursday and my parents will be here next week! It is a hard decision and I hope you figure it out Wink

Mama_v2.0 · April 2011

We moved from about 10 miles north of Palo Alto to hear for DH's job opp. and leaving both of our families behind. Would I do it again? In a heart beat. I much prefer this area to the bay. Our friends spent $650K on a 840 sq ft 2/1 house w/ a 50000 sq ft yard and we spent $550K on a 3200 sq ft almost an acre. Here we have PCC and whole foods, there they have better farmer's markets and Whole foods. Same level of parent involvement and activities for toddlers/children. People tend to be a little more snotty (even compared to greater seattle snotty areas.) Traffic is a lot worse than anything you are use to and schools are generally okay to good (better than most seattle area schools).

Honestly if they were to ever ask us to move back I would not do it for anything less than double DH's current salary, just so we could afford a decent house in a decent neighborhood.

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