Ugh. I am so upset right now, I'm wondering what you all would do.
So, our cat, Calvin, is almost 11, we've had him for 10 years, and he's always been a little skittish, he was a stray, and while he's generally relaxed and comfortable with us, changes/noises/etc are still hard for him. But, he was our first "baby" and I know is still adjusting to the new pecking order.
So, I was holding DS and Calvin was sleeping near-by, DS rolled (practically flipped) in my arms- from an almost nursing position to onto his back. When he moved he hit Calvin in the mouth. Calvin bit him immediately, he was obviously startled awake and didn't process anything before he did it. DS melted down, it was awful. His skin wasn't broken, but there is a little red mark on his hand. I think he was maybe more scared than actually hurt.
Ohmygod do I feel like a bad mom. A bad mom mom, and a bad cat mom. I feel like there's no good solution. I think it's our responsibility as pet owners to make the transition as comfortable as possible for Calvin, but I'm not sure something like this is okay. We will try to keep them apart, and make sure DS is safe, but if something ever happened again I'm not sure I'd ever get over it.
Ugh. I'm so upset, my stomach is in knots. What would you do?
Re: My cat just bit DS
I totally understand you are upset. I'm sorry that happened. But you are not a bad mom mom or cat mom!
This might be an unpopular opinion, but I don't view this as a sign of aggression on the cat's part. I really think it was a fluke. The cat was startled awake and reacted. Has the cat shown any other signs of aggression toward the baby?
I think it was just a bad incident and in the future, I would try to keep the baby away from the cat while he was sleeping. I think it will just take a little more diligence on your part.
The two men in my life. Oh, and I have a husband too...
Wow. That is really insensitive.
I have two cats - they are older and very set in their ways. Mostly they keep their distance but the twins are very interested in them now and have been trying to touch. I've been keeping a close eye on them and working on showing the twins how to be gentle. Now, just the other day J grabbed one of them (a huge handful of fur and skin) and was pulling. The cat sort of turned her head and snapped at him. She didn't bite him but may have if I didn't pull him away.
Don't be mad at your cat - he was scared and just reacted. I'm sure the new baby is an adjustment. Your DS is ok and he probably won't remember the incident.
I would say instead of keeping them apart, spend supervised time together so Calvin gets used to your DS and your DS learns how to treat Calvin (don't hit the kitty, be gentle with the kitty, etc.). You know now to be watchful with the two of them together. I think it will all be fine.
Thank you, and I think you're right, he was just startled. He's never shown any signs of aggression, ever. Toward us or the baby.
This is my opinion, too. Calvin is an older cat who has had full run of the house until DS came along. He's adjusting and is probably WONDERFUL about the entire situation on a regular basis. He was startled and possibly hurt, and while it sucks that DS was bitten, I wouldn't be thinking of re-homing the cat or putting him down at ALL. Just be a bit more vigilant about giving the cat his space when DS is around.
Give me a break, as if I'm really serious.
OP I'm sorry this happened. It sounds like a fluke incident bc Calvin was startled awake. You're a good mommy and sometimes accidents happen.
No matter what, this would never be an option. A new home, maybe, but never this.
I don't blame you for being upset, I would be too. I have a 19 year old cat who is very grumpy with anyone except myself. She hisses and swipes if people get too close. She even gets grumpy with ME if I have company in the house. (I've lived by myself for the entire 19 years so I guess that's why she's like that) She's old and grumpy so I know I have to watch her very carefully around DD. The cat sniffs at DD but leaves her alone. I do stress over the day that DD gets mobile and can go towards the cat. When that time comes I will probably keep the cat in a separate room. (the cat spend 99% of the time on the bed anyway so it's not like I'd be doing anything too differently for the cat)
I guess to answer your WWYD question, knowing the cats reaction now, I would not keep them that close. You'll just have to have cuddle time with Calvin when the baby is not with you. Good luck, I feel for you, I truely do.
It was an accident. They DO happen. I am sorry you feel like a bad mom, but you aren't.
I know VERY few people who have babies and animals and NEVER have an incident, to be quite honest with you.
I would just stay on your toes a little more- we all let our guard down at some point and sometimes it just takes a little scare to snap us back into place.
Hang in there!
There is absolutely no reason for this. It was an accident and the cat was startled. They need just need to get used to one another.
This makes me feel a lot better. I wasn't mad at Calvin at all, just upset at how everything went down. And, you're completely right, I should just have some more supervised time, poor guy has a lot of adjusting to do, and we need to help him do that. I was just so scared by the whole thing.
I agree with Simone. She is very wise.
Even if you weren't serious (which I doubt), it's not funny.
I realize you were kidding, but this wasn't a funny thing to say; it's just annoying.
The two men in my life. Oh, and I have a husband too...
I completely agree with this.
I think the biggest thing is going with your gut. If you really think your cat has an aggressive streak and would hurt your son without being provoked, then maybe you should consider a new home for him.
But it sounds like he was just startled awake and the bite was a reflex. It may just be something you need to pay attention to (making sure DS is not near the cat while sleeping because the cat could be startled again).
Yeah, really not funny right now.
Umm, really? I hope you're not a pet owner.
I'm sorry that this happened. I always tell DS1 to stay away from our dog when she is sleeping because I am afraid of this very thing. When I was 12 I tried to pick my family dog up when she was sleeping in a dark room and she got so freaked out & bit me on my face, just below my eye. Even then, I understood that I shouldn't have touched her when she was in a deep sleep.
Unless you see a pattern of agressive behavior develop, I would just make sure to keep Calvin and DS separate when Calvin is sleeping. Hopefully as he gets more used to DS, he will be less likely to react like that. Good luck!
Oh my geez just pick a forum and quit hopping back and forth! You're getting my hopes up, woman!