- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
June 2011 Moms
pregarella
member
Timing your pregnancy around an event?
pregarella
member
I heard an interesting vent from a friend last week. She was LIVID that her cousin had the audacity to get pregnant and will not be able to attend her brother's wedding in October.
I completely disagreed with her and told her as such. Thought she was crazy for being so mad. I told her that most people don't time their pregnancies around events, especially if they are trying to get pregnant, or even worse, have had a hard time geting pregnant. And for a cousin's wedding?? For a sibling, I could maybe understand a bit better....but a cousin? Really?
Did any of you specifcally time your pregnancies around an event?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Timing your pregnancy around an event?
If we were patient people, we would have timed it a little closer to my graduation. I am finished with college in November, but don't walk until December. However, when we got married we both wanted to start trying right away. Guess I will just have to suck it up for the last 5 months of school when I will have a newborn/infant!
Nope, we certainly didn't time this LO around any specific event. I always said idealy I would like to have a spring baby, and I charted and TTC for that with the understanding that I very well may not get what I want and that was okay.
I'm glad you told her what you thought! Perhaps if she starts TTC (if she doesn't already have any LOs) she may see your point more clearly.
We planned around when we were ready but not specific events. Though, we waited as long as we did because we had so many events each summer and we didn't want to have to miss out on too many weddings because I wouldn't be able to travel, etc.
However, we did not specifically plan around those events, but we figured that was a reason to wait an extra year.
I think it's ridiculous though to expect someone to plan around events. Plus, what if someone was having a hard time getting pregnant but an event comes up - are they supposed to wait x months to start trying again?!
June Bugs Blog
For DD #1 we waited for financial reasons, DH needed to graduate from college. However it took us a year to get pregnant with her so we ended up definitely pass his graduation date.
For this baby we just waited until I started ovulating again. We had nothing on the horizon to put off trying to have a baby and if something did come up it would have had to been a pretty big thing.
I think your friend is being a little weird.
Eleanor 9.30.13
For a cousin's wedding? No way!
We did plan around my work (I have 2 months every year that are extremely busy), but if we were trying to conceive for more than a few months, that would have been tossed out the window.
We started trying to conceive after we had a miscarriage with an unplanned pregnancy. We didn't even wait to plan around our wedding which was eventually postponed (the wedding not the marriage). It might sound selfish but I would not have waited for anyone else's wedding either.
DH's cousin's wedding is a month after our due date and I think our baby is stealing the spotlight.
I don't get this at all. So many factors go into whether/when a couple can conceive - I can't believe this chick is upset about it. That's ridiculous.
That being said, DH and I were hoping that I'd get pregnant so that I wouldn't be super pregnant during the hottest parts of the summer, but that was a hope more than any kind of plan. We just started trying when we were ready and kept trying til it worked
Been away from theBump for a while, getting active again for all the good advice
I was shocked and annoyed and I definitely told her she was nuts. She is SO far off from having kids, I just don't think she gets it. That and she is a bit of a "the world should revolve around me" gal.
The only "timing" we put into this baby was to try not to be pregnant before we got married (last July). It happens to work out well with school schedules and some work things, but I'm missing a MAJOR certification (basically our version of getting accredited) at work and even they weren't actually mad. Though I did get some jokes about how it was nice that I planned to "get out of it" but no one was serious.
On the other hand, I do have a cousin who is TTC, they're in the middle of doing in-vitro, but when they first started I know she was trying to plan it around some concert thing her stepdaughter was going to be in or something ridiculous like that. And it took the majority of the family to "convince" her that no one would care if she was going to miss or be pregnant for that event and that since they were having such a hard time to begin with that she needed to just take things as they came. This is however the same cousin that "only wants a boy" as part of her IVF, so it doesn't take much to get me rolling my eyes at her. (flame away at that, but I think she is being ridiculous)
Same thing here.. We were lucky to get pregnant the first month trying, but we really had no way of knowing how long it would take since I've never tried to get pregnant before. I know a lot of people were trying to get pregnant, were pregnant, or just had a baby around my wedding, but I was never be upset because they could possibly miss our big day. I always said that it was a "happy" reason not to attend. I think it's selfish to expect other people to make life plans around your wedding.
Ummm that's a negative.
My sister wasn't too pleased with us...but too bad. What if we had problems getting pg??
SO I will be 34 weeks while being the MOH at my sister's wedding on May 14th.
Yes, we had to plan this pregnancy around my job. As a first year teacher, I did not feel that I could have a baby any time other than the summer. We are extremley lucky and incredibly happy that we got pg when we did as we are both older and have waited a long time for this.
Would I plan it around my cousins' wedding? No, but I only have 5 and I'm not close to any of them. A bff or my sister? I prolly would have made sure that I wasn't really pregnant, but it wouldn't have stoped me/us.
I sort of wanted to be due in July, since that's a new year for our schedule and it would've made my June scheduling/start of maternity leave a little easier.
But I wasn't very strict about it (obviously, since I'm due the First week in June!). It wasn't important enough to wait another month to TTC.
I would consider delaying plans if I knew my brother had set a date- but no one else. And we didn't struggle with infertility- I'm sure if we did, that wouldn't factor into the decision at all.
Considering I found out I was pregnant with DS 5 months prior to my schedualed July wedding I agree its not something you can really plan! I'm a firm believer that things happen when they are meant to.
My cousin's wedding was in October the same year and my due date was 4 days after her wedding was schedualed. She jokingly told me not to "let of of my baby cr*p ruin her wedding" (specificly going into labor). My baby stuff didnt ruin her wedding because DS was delivered early September instead of his mid-October due date.
This pregnancy was not schedualed around anything either. Then again we dont have any weddings in the family this year I dont think. I can say it would have been nice to have been able to get a sitter for DS so DH and I could have gone out and celebrated my turning the big 25 with a couple of drinks...
No events whose importance would surpass our desire to get pregnant and have a family...
So we were open to the timting & letting it happen!
"5.01.09"
WTF? I timed mine to deliver before husband's 40th (I wanted him to be a Dad before 40) and I missed by a day! Joking ... kind of! But on a serious note what an entitled person to think that the world revolves around them/their family/brother whoever.
I guess knowing that one of my good friends weddings is next July 16th I would not aim to be delivering my next at that time, but if we were trying and it happened, oh well. Weddings, babies, etc. are all big life events and I don't see why one would take precedence over another.
I would have only delayed pregnancy (or tried harder not to get pregnant since this one wasn't exactly planned) for an immediate family wedding that would require travel. Considering we didn't have anyone in our families getting married (they already were) there was nothing stopping us.
My friend was TTC when I asked her to be a bridesmaid. She really wanted to be in the wedding and I told her that she better not do something stupid like stop trying to get pregnant in order to be at my wedding.. babies trump weddings in my opinion. 11 months after trying to conceive she finally got pregnant and delivered 2 days before my wedding. She couldn't be there, and I couldn't have been any happier to see her family grow! Also, I'm fairly certain that after 11 months she could have given two $hits that she wasn't going to make the wedding.
We started trying after a certain month, in order for me to not go out on maternity leave before a certain month. So, we started trying in July, hoping for an April or later due date. We were hoping for April or May due dates, but I think we get pretty darn close.
I was fully aware that it could have happened April or could have been many months after. We just didn't want it to happen before April.
That said, I think it's insanity for people to expect others to NOT get pregnant around certain times, due to THEIR schedules. Sisters, cousins, whoever. It's up to no one but the Mom and Dad to be.
Nope...this is our first and total accident.
We had discussed TTC though and were going to try for a fall/winter baby or early spring baby. Why you ask? b/c DH surfs and we take a ton of beach trips. We were wanting babe to be a bit older so we could go to the beach easier
And now we're having a summer baby right at the beginning of the season
that's just how it works I guess!
My pregnancy was a surprise, but fortunately ended up timed perfectly to when I would have wanted it to be (just a few years earlier than I would have liked). The busiest time for my job is the end of our company's fiscal year (in September) so I would have had a hard time taking full maternity leave if any part of it fell over that month. Luckily, unless I'm really late delivering, I'll get at least 3 full months at home before reporting back to work on Sept.1st.
Prior to my own m/c and reading others' experiences with infertility, I said stupid stuff like "so and so shouldn't have gotten pregnant so close to my wedding".
People just don't realize....they're not trying to be dummies.
Carter James