I will be okay.

crownedbee · April 2011

I will be okay. I will be okay. I will be okay.

It's not a joke. She's showing.

My dad is 47 and his girlfriend is 31. They didn't tell us before now because she was having a lot of problems and wanted to get the NT scan out of the way (plus some more testing, I think) because her brother has Downs. She's bled a lot and from what I understand is still bleeding. They weren't even sure for awhile if this was going to be a successful pregnancy.

They also said they talked a LOT about how to tell DH and me. My dad said every time he thought about it the only thing he could think about was watching me hold my cousin's baby last year and how incredibly difficult that was for me. They both said they were sorry and they didn't want to hurt me.

I am shaking, my eyes are leaking and I could throw up at any moment. But I will be okay (it will happen if that's what I keep telling myself, right?).

weelass24 · April 2011

(((BIGHUGEHUGS)))

You know where to find me. I'll be up half the night, so let me know if you need me, OK?

ItsmeTW · April 2011

I trust that you will be okay.

greenclown · April 2011

{hugs}

Melaneigh1 · April 2011

(((hugs)))

You will be okay.

hippotree · April 2011

Big hugs.

skyfarm15 · April 2011

(((hugs))) You will be ok.

caffinated_tulip · April 2011

Yes you will be okay! ::HUGS::

jCamsquared · April 2011

Oh sweetie. ::big huge hugs::

Mrs_Liberto · April 2011

::Boobiesquishes::

Big huge hugs for you, your DH, your dad, and his GF. This has to be a scary time for all of you.

Chatham2007 · April 2011

The way life works blows my mind sometimes. Big hugs to you sweetie, big big big hugs.

Le Olive · April 2011

You'll be okay because a lot of people care about you. Hang in there.

leslie13510 · April 2011

::big huge squishy hugs::

You WILL be ok. And your dad sounds like a great dad, all things considered.

::more big hugs::

EdithBouvierBeale · April 2011

it sounds like they are living their private lives very consciously of your feelings. That is nice of them.

why are you crying now?

Chatham2007 · April 2011

EdithBouvierBeale:

it sounds like they are living their private lives very consciously of your feelings. That is nice of them.

why are you crying now?

I'm seriously so sick of your shiit. I'm sorry CB, but seriously.

crownedbee · April 2011

EdithBouvierBeale:
it sounds like they are living their private lives very consciously of your feelings. That is nice of them.

why are you crying now?

Fvck off and die you stupid fvcking cvnt.

EdithBouvierBeale · April 2011

ok, I read this again because I thought maybe my sensitivity switch was off, but no...I feel like they worked hard to be sensitive toward you and comfortable with the GFs personal situation...and you are acting like a psycho.

listen to me:

YOU ARE RUINING YOUR LIFE.

I am sorry that you are having such difficulty conceiving. but you can not continue to dedicate ALL of your energies on why it hasn't happened yet, the heinous injustice of when it happens for others, and the wallowing you're doing in misery over the matter.

you need therapy,

I say this with kindness, because everyone else is just encouraging you to continue to cry in your woe is me bubble, and it's time to STOP THAT.

pull your shiit together and form a plan for how to continue living your life. you have a lot of years left to fill, and you are going to be extra sad if you look back one day to find that they were filled with nothing but wallowing and dwelling and misery.

do what you can, but STOP focusing on this. you are not being fair to ANYONE. your soul needs a rest.

EdithBouvierBeale · April 2011

crownedbee:
EdithBouvierBeale:

it sounds like they are living their private lives very consciously of your feelings. That is nice of them.

why are you crying now?

Fvck off and die you stupid fvcking cvnt.

ok, you know what? that wasn't very nice.

Chatham2007 · April 2011

For the record, if my father came to me today and told me his GF was pregnant, I would also be a wreck. Not because I am TTC, but because he is my dad and I am a grown adult. She just fvcking found out. She is entitled to have a brown paper bag moment.

And like I said before, you need to have a sensitivity switch in order to turn it on.

crownedbee · April 2011

EdithBouvierBeale:
ok, I read this again because I thought maybe my sensitivity switch was off, but no...I feel like they worked hard to be sensitive toward you and comfortable with the GFs personal situation...and you are acting like a psycho.

listen to me:

YOU ARE RUINING YOUR LIFE.

I am sorry that you are having such difficulty conceiving. but you can not continue to dedicate ALL of your energies on why it hasn't happened yet, the heinous injustice of when it happens for others, and the wallowing you're doing in misery over the matter.

you need therapy,

I say this with kindness, because everyone else is just encouraging you to continue to cry in your woe is me bubble, and it's time to STOP THAT.

pull your shiit together and form a plan for how to continue living your life. you have a lot of years left to fill, and you are going to be extra sad if you look back one day to find that they were filled with nothing but wallowing and dwelling and misery.

do what you can, but STOP focusing on this. you are not being fair to ANYONE. your soul needs a rest.

Unless you are some kind of psychotic stalker person, you don't know how I live my life. So stop making yourself think that all I do is sit around and cry because my ute is a barren wasteland.

I'm sorry that I am still having issues accepting the fact that my dad and his girlfriend are going to have a baby three hours after I found out. You're right, I should be right the fvck over that by now.

Mrs.EliK · April 2011

I have no doubt that this is a difficult situation for you as well as for your father and his girlfriend. I do agree with Edith and that they sound like they have been trying to be sensitive of your feelings. If you're not in it now, maybe counseling would be beneficial for you during this difficult time.

Chatham2007 · April 2011

Mrs.EliK:
I have no doubt that this is a difficult situation for you as well as for your father and his girlfriend. I do agree with Edith and that they sound like they have been trying to be sensitive of your feelings. If you're not in it now, maybe counseling would be beneficial for you during this difficult time.

Jesus Christ, do you think this is helpful right now? GTFO.

EdithBouvierBeale · April 2011

crownedbee:
EdithBouvierBeale:

ok, I read this again because I thought maybe my sensitivity switch was off, but no...I feel like they worked hard to be sensitive toward you and comfortable with the GFs personal situation...and you are acting like a psycho.

listen to me:

YOU ARE RUINING YOUR LIFE.

I am sorry that you are having such difficulty conceiving. but you can not continue to dedicate ALL of your energies on why it hasn't happened yet, the heinous injustice of when it happens for others, and the wallowing you're doing in misery over the matter.

you need therapy,

I say this with kindness, because everyone else is just encouraging you to continue to cry in your woe is me bubble, and it's time to STOP THAT.

pull your shiit together and form a plan for how to continue living your life. you have a lot of years left to fill, and you are going to be extra sad if you look back one day to find that they were filled with nothing but wallowing and dwelling and misery.

do what you can, but STOP focusing on this. you are not being fair to ANYONE. your soul needs a rest.

Unless you are some kind of psychotic stalker person, you don't know how I live my life. So stop making yourself think that all I do is sit around and cry because my ute is a barren wasteland.

I'm sorry that I am still having issues accepting the fact that my dad and his girlfriend are going to have a baby three hours after I found out. You're right, I should be right the fvck over that by now.

nearly every post you make is an ode to your misery, dude. your blog is a sad fest.

I really think you could benefit from some perspective, and you deserve to be happy.

I don't get why this is so horrible anyway?

If my parents were to tell me they were expecting (early 50's), I think I would laugh for about an hour, and then get kind of excited about a sibling 34 years my junior..that's neat and crazy all at once. there is nothing terrible about it to be sure. it's a new family member, a new dynamic, it is super exciting!

start thinking positively about it- what the hell is making you shake and barf and weep?

Chatham2007 · April 2011

If only we could all be more like you. Yeah... No thanks.

EdithBouvierBeale · April 2011

Chatham, shut up.

Chatham2007 · April 2011

LOL

crownedbee · April 2011

The only people that matter in this situation completely understood how I felt getting that news. They have hearts and souls and have stood beside me for the past three years.

You can continue with your shenanigans but I will no longer be replying to them. I owe nothing to you.

NavyClan · April 2011

Edith, I get what you're saying and I truly believe you're saying it because you care, but she JUST found out. She's in the midst of processing this right now. Her blog is an outlet for those sorts of feelings, so I don't think it's fair for you to say she does nothing but wallow in misery based on that alone.

That being said, I'm glad from seeing this update that they were thinking of you and worried about your feelings in this whole matter, CB. Hopefully that makes things easier for you as you won't have to worry about them lying/purposely hiding things to spite you.

Kate621 · April 2011

My brother told us 2 weeks after Jack was born that he had knocked up his girlfriend of 4 months. It was not pretty. I cried and cried and cried. Then she miscarried a few weeks later and I felt awful. So I can somewhat relate to what you are feeling CB. Its ok to be upset. I promise you will feel better after it has sunk in a little. ((hugs))

Mysterious_wife · April 2011

I think your dad did what he felt was best for everyone involved. I hope all goes well with the baby.

:big hugs CB:

EdithBouvierBeale · April 2011

crownedbee:

The only people that matter in this situation completely understood how I felt getting that news. They have hearts and souls and have stood beside me for the past three years.

You can continue with your shenanigans but I will no longer be replying to them. I owe nothing to you.

of course you owe me nothing- but for whatever reason, I feel like you desperately are in need of someone to rattle your cage a little, and I am starting to feel sorry for you! the people you DO want to hear from are likely thinking along the lines of what I said. They're not saying it because they know what you want to hear, and I bet they DO care about you.

you have choices in everything and when things don't work out to suit those choices, you can then choose to handle their outcomes with grace and dignity, or you can throw those things out the window and dig yourself a hole to live in.

I'll say it again:

you deserve to be happy. Ask yourself what you can do to be happy, and what about this situation is really stopping you from having happiness.

what exactly?

you don't have to tell me.

just think about it.

for your sake, your husband's, for everyone who cares about you and who is probably exhausted and saddened by your obvious struggle to cope with the reality of your life. you need a little help maybe (therapy)

Chatham2007 · April 2011

Well, Edith, I will give you this. You do put on quite a performance.

I imagine your show is about as popular as Charlie Sheens. You have a few loyal followers that are your goddesses, but the rest are just sticking around to see your crazy rants, cryptic messages and outright nasty posts.

Bravo.

Lucky428 · April 2011

wow. some people (or maybe...person?) are really rude and insensitive in this post -- and it isn't the OP.

OP I'm a lurker but big hugs to you.

armandos_girl · April 2011

Edith - did you ever stop to consider that this board is CB's form of "talking with someone"? Granted we're no replacement for counseling, but counseling is her decision. This is her safe place to vent and put her feelings to words and get support feom people who understand. Lord knows this board has been an outlet for me and I haven't gone through half of what she's gone through. The very fact that she is recognizing and making this follow up post shows me she's not "wallowing in her misery", she's processing it and moving forward.

CB, I'm sorry that I felt the need to respond to Edith first and spend half the post directed at her. You are a strong, beautiful person, who IS handling this with grace and dignity. I know you will get through this and we are here if you need a shoulder to cry on.

Scout05 · April 2011

CB, I'm so sorry. You are a kind person with a big heart, and I know you will come to a place of acceptence with this. Asking you to get there the same day you find out is pretty unfair. You have to work through your emotions first, I'm not sure what good pushing them deep down and pretending it doesn't hurt would do. It's not dwelling on it to cry in the beginning and and be honest that you are having a reaction - it doesn't mean you wish ill on your dad, his GF or their baby, or that you will forever be resentful and upset. It means it's a shock, and like all shocks, it has to be processed.

FWIW - I got all that from my own therapist, who helped me through pregnancy announcement after pregnancy announcement while I sat there bleeding from yet another loss. Shoving it down and ignoring my emotions was part of why I ended up in therapy in the first place.

Big hugs.

EdithBouvierBeale · April 2011

Chatham2007:

Well, Edith, I will give you this. You do put on quite a performance.

I imagine your show is about as popular as Charlie Sheens. You have a few loyal followers that are your goddesses, but the rest are just sticking around to see your crazy rants, cryptic messages and outright nasty posts.

Bravo.

lol- now WHO sounds like charlie sheen, here?

bobmonkey · April 2011

You're going to get to where you need to be to find peace and happiness. If it takes 15 minutes or 34 days, you'll get there. On your OWN time. And you'll get back up, and keep on, with all the people who love and support you. *hugs*

Excitedtostart · April 2011

Huge Hugs and lot's of love to you CB.

Emie28 · April 2011

I just wanted to add that I understand that just finding out about this pregnancy must feel like a punch in the gut and I'm very sorry you are sad. I'm also praying for a healthy pregnancy for your dad's gf, it sounds like they have had some scary and difficult times and have tried to be considerate of your feelings. I hope you can find some peace with the whole situation in your own time.