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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
jmlushbough
member
Please, please tell me this is a stage...
jmlushbough
member
Our son just turned one. For the last few weeks, he's been a bit of a grizzly bear. Whiny, and clingy, and just in general a bit high-maintenance.
What I've discovered is that he's only really this way with me. If he's hanging out with DH, or Grammy, or pretty much anyone else, he's mostly okay. As soon as he sees (or hears) me, he wants me. He wants to be on me. He gets whiny and clingy. He cries (fake-ish crying) until I pick him up.
So, I understand that he's at an age where he somewhat understands cause and effect, and he's testing his boundaries. I certainly don't enjoy these little tantrums. They drive me crazy. They also make it impossible to get anything done because when it's me and him at home all day, he pretty much needs to be by my side all day. But I don't really know how to deal with it. Ignore it? Redirect it? just pick him up and snuggle him like he wants?
WDYT?
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Re: Please, please tell me this is a stage...
I have no advice but I wanted to say that you are not alone. I am trying to figure it out but it is frustrating. Nothing has worked so far.
We've got this going on too. Our game plan is ignoring or redirecting the whining: we ask him to use his words, and tell us what he wants. If he doesnt say/sign something, then we suggest things: eat, drink, Mama, diaper change, etc. and then he will say or sign what he wants.
For the picking up, I don't pick him up until he says "up" and then signs "please" - without whining. That way, I don't feel like I am reinforcing his whining... If he can't settle down to "talk" with me, then I usually just walk away and ignore, and try again a few moments later if he is still carrying on.
DS has also been teething lately, and it's molars - until we saw 1 pop through and 1 start bulging, we were not 100% sure that it was teeth, we just suspected it. At times his cheeks get bright pink when his teeth are bothering him, but not all the time - I often try Motrin if he is just out of sorts and not redirectable. Or a nap.
Good luck!! Keep trying different things. Overall, my principle is not "giving in" to the demands, and rather waiting to give him what he wants until he is calm. That way, he learns that calm behavior gets us what we want instead of tantrums. Of course we still have our bad days, but overall it doesn't take long to calm him down. Signing is SO key to that - it has helped SOOOO much in ending the tantrums when he can tell us what he wants!!
We've been working on signs for what seems like forever. He only recently started doing milk consistently. How many signs does your LO do, and when did he start doing them consistently? Any tips in that area?
We started with more, milk/drink, and eat. We'd sign as we said the word, and he caught on pretty quickly. He can also sign please, sorry, home, done, diaper change, what, banana, cookie, mama, dada, hot dog, help, points for up and down...
He was almost 1 year before we started working on them, and we've been adding signs as we've seen the need (such as, when he would whine and grunt and we'd finally figure out what he wanted - like pointing at the fruit bowl for a banana.) He will be 16m on Tuesday.
I think using them yourself to model for him is key, and then of course verbal praise when he does it right. That's really all we've done... He just started doing it one day and we "hit the ground running" as they say.
Yes, it is a stage and it did not last long.
My son was extremely clingy right around the time of his first birthday too. I actually remember having to hold him most of the time during his birthday party. He only went into his highchair to eat and did so very warily and he would flip out if he could not see me.
Hang
Yes, it is a stage and it did not last long.
My son was extremely clingy right around the time of his first birthday too. I actually remember having to hold him most of the time during his birthday party. He only went into his highchair to eat and did so very warily and he would flip out if he could not see me.
Hang
inYes, it is a stage and it did not last long.
My son was extremely clingy right around the time of his first birthday too. I actually remember having to hold him most of the time during his birthday party. He only went into his highchair to eat and did so very warily and he would flip out if he could not see me.
Hang in