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Trying to Get Pregnant
who, what, and when...telling people
We're not officially TTC yet, but it's the top thing on our minds. I want to talk about it with everyone because of excitement, but don't want to tell anyone at the same time.
Who did you tell that you were TTC if anyone? When?
When do you plan on telling people if/when you become pregnant?
I'm thinking of starting a private blog to get things out so I don't tell people lol.
TTC #1 since Aug 2011
Dx PCOS 2002...500mgs metformin
Dx PCOS 2002...500mgs metformin
This discussion has been closed.
Re: who, what, and when...telling people
We told DH's mom although that was unplanned .. My mom has an idea because she knows I've been getting tests done & typical mom - wants to know the results of everything (even DH's SA, lol)
Other than that.. just two female friends up here because they were/are also TTC.
When we get pregnant, we're going to wait until after the first trimester to tell anyone other than immediate family/close friends. Definitely no Facebook until that point. Once we tell everyone, I'll probably start a baby blog. My family can be nosy and I don't feel like putting it all on Facebook so they can read the blog if they want to know the details of appointments and what not.
I just use forums like this & others to talk to girls TTC and it helps not tell people.
My parents have an idea that we're TTC (we talk about needing a bigger vehicle, etc) and DH's sister has warned us that we're not allowed to be pregnant over Christmas so, I don't know what we'll do about announcing it.
I think we'll tell on an as needed basis. I have a feeling I'll be showing early and if that's the case, we'll have to spill the beans. But we'll just wait and see what happens.
Who did you tell that you were TTC if anyone? When?
I have only told my sister and DH's sister. They are the two we are closest with. My mom knows that we are thinking about TTC in the near future.
When do you plan on telling people if/when you become pregnant?
Immediate family will know once we go to the DR. to confirm it. Everyone else will know after the first trimester.
I'm thinking of starting a private blog to get things out so I don't tell people lol. Sounds like a good idea!
Our first baby is due 1/2/12!
Make a pregnancy ticker
I've only told one really good friend who I trust absolutely to keep it a secret. She is nice to talk to because she has kids and has been trough ttc. We've been trying now for 9 months, and I'm glad I haven't told anyone else. I think if we had, it would have just added extra pressure that we don't need.
When we get pregnant, I think we will only tell the friend who knows and maybe my SIL who I'm very close to at first. When we are farther along, maybe after 1st ultrasound, or maybe after 1st tri we will tell everyone else. I would love to tell my parents and his parents right away, but I don't think anyone would keep it to themselves.
TTC#1 starting Feb 2011, BFP #1:5/31/11, CP: 6/6/11; BFP #2: 7/9/11, loss confirmed 8/3 with D&C on 8/12 finding complete molar pregnancy. Forced break until Feb 2012. My blog
Who did you tell that you were TTC if anyone? When?
It started off with just my sister, and my two closest friends. I had wanted to surprise my parents once I got pregnant. However, once we realized we were having some problems and were referred to an RE, I told my Mom. I knew she would be upset if she found after after that fact that I'd had a bunch of tests done and she didn't know about it.
I also recently had to tell my office manager and my boss...there was talk of a change in insurance in July. I didn't want to start paying out what could be thousands of dollars in fertility treatment, if our insurance was going to change to a new company. I would have had to start with a new obgyn and new RE, and didn't want to risk having to go back to square one with their dr's and pay again for what I had already paid.
When do you plan on telling people if/when you become pregnant?
Immediate family right away, my BFF's before the end of the 1st tri...everyone else I would like to wait until the end of the 1st tri. It may end up being earlier. I have dark hair and solid gray roots, which most people are not aware of. If I can't color my hair in the 1st tri, that may give me away earlier!
I'm thinking of starting a private blog to get things out so I don't tell people lol.
Love the blog idea!
IVF #1-July 2011 7/9/11-Started Stims
7/20/11-ER:No eggs in 4/5 follicles. Left the 5th follie intact and converted to an IUI
8/3/11-Beta #1=BFN,
Nov, 2011 BFP #1=m/c at 7 wks 3 days
11/11-AMH .47, IVF #2 March 2012...or not!! Surprise BFP on 2/19. Beta #1=161. Beta #2 305 Our little miracle girl is on her way! Due Oct 29, 2012
<a href="http://s1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/andersenspics/?action=view
We didn't tell anyone that we were officially trying other than a few friends. When we got pregnant, we wanted to wait to announce when it was "safe" and at the holidays. We had to do some fibbing when we knew we were pregnant but were keeping it a secret.
We finally "came out" to 2 of our friends and I miscarried the next day.
Our family now knows about the miscarriage and that it has been a struggle emotionally as well as physically. They also know that we're trying, but because of the emotional and physical issues, it's been difficult.
Next time around, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I partially wish we had told our families right away so they could have shared in our excitement (all they got was the sad news of a loss)...but at the same time, I don't want them to get attached like DH and I did and have to mourn that loss if something happens again.
We haven't told anybody, mainly because our immediate families (mainly parents) are so excited about us having kids someday that I don't want to get their hopes up since the process can take awhile!
ETA: we also don't want to field a ton of questions from everybody about whether we are pregnant yet, and we're pretty private about the subject (other than on here, obviously!!)
Who knows we are TTC: We are just starting our TTC journey and have not officially dropped the BC yet (condoms). We may start in a couple of weeks for DH's birthday, but not 100% sure yet. Just bought VIP FF yesterday. My parents know we will TTC very soon, and many people know that we want kids. I think people think we are not able to have them since we have been married almost 9 years and haven't had any yet. My friends certainly know how much we want children, as do the IL and my parents.
Who will know when pregnant/when we will tell: We will tell my parents and his parents fairly early because we want their emotional support if something bad happens. We are most likely going to tell them by surprise, either by taking a photo and saying "1-2-3 You're Grandparents!" or something like that. If not, then we will tell both sets of parents at a bistro that we all like and have a dessert brought out or something. We know the owner there and my parents have been known to eat there sometimes 2 times in 1 day! Once the parents know I will tell a couple of friends, and then will tell the rest of the people when I hit 2nd Tri or start showing, whichever comes first.
First time, we didn't tell anyone we were trying. We told our immediate family at 5 weeks and the rest of the family around 9 weeks. We told the world around 12 weeks.
This time, we did tell our immediate families we will be trying this spring, but nothing specific. I'm in SIL's wedding in October and I wanted her to know that there was a possibility I could have a big pregnant belly.
This time around, we'll try to hold out on telling as long as we can, but I've heard you show earlier after your first. I started a blog for DS a long time ago but haven't kept up with it. I'm thinking of starting a new family blog but won't make it public until we have new family news.
MH and I are in cycle 12 and I can count on 1 hand the number of people who know, including MH.
MH and I were talking about telling our parents about possible fertility stuff...but I don't want his sisters to know and there is a 97% chance if we tell his parents his mom will tell my SILs. So, we may not tell them. I do have maybe 3 friends I plan on filling in eventually. However, after we get KU we don't plan on telling family and close close friends until after the 1st DR appt and everyone else after 1st tri.
ETA: I've been on this board a little over a year and I can tell you one thing. I've never seen anyone say they wish they HAD told people. I have, however, seen a lot of women wish they HAD NOT told anyone. Once you tell you can't take it back and you may be TTC for longer than you though.
Trying since Jan 2011. Unexplained IF.
2 IUIs = BFN.
1 IVF (Dec 2013) = BFN.
FET, 2 frosties (June 13, 2014)
14dp5dt-June 27 -BFP, beta 2061. 2nd beta >5000, 3rd beta >5000, 2 sacs 06/30.
Twin Girls - 02/11/15 - at 37 weeks (no NICU, home with me at 3 days).
This, exactly.
I told my sisters, two of my good friends and my best friend at work that we are (almost) TTC...and when we will start TTC.
I'll probably only tell those same people (maybe H's dad) until after the first tri.
Dx PCOS 2002...500mgs metformin
no one knows we are back on the TTC wagon. i wont tell anyone. I dont need questions, comments, suggestions etc.
when i get pregnant again...Only my mom will know immediately so she can start praying that everything is going to go well and the baby is healthy. then DH family we will tell after first trimester prob 13 ish weeks. the rest of the world including aunt uncles etc can figure it out when my belly is big and round.
I got burned last time with a second trimester loss...so as far as i am concerned there is no "safe time" to tell people....
DC#2 born silent at 22 weeks 1.11.11
Dc#3 born vbac 1/2012 <bra DC#4 born VBAC 3/2014
This sounds exactly like me! Only we're on our 7th cycle now...(hopefully lucky number 7!) I even had a friend finally ask me if DH & I were going to be seen by a doctor. So rude, but this experience has made me realize how naive some people are when it comes to the "science" of conceiving a child. I, too, regret telling so many people for this reason!
EDD 07/29/2017
My family has known we were TTC pretty much since the beginning, but that's because we were pretty sure we would have some problems. DH's co-workers, several of our friends, my boss & a few other people know now, but that's because it's been almost 2-yrs & we've had 2 losses.
I don't know when we'll tell anyone. A bunch of people knew the first time I got pregnant, but next time we're going to wait as long as possible to tell anyone. It sucks having to go back & "untell" people.
Married 1/2/99.
TTC since 4/09.
Diagnosed PCOS. Diagnosed Hypothryoid 11/09.
SHG & SA normal. PCOS Research study started 5/10.
Clomid/Femara cycle #1 - 6/10 = BFN
Clomid/Femara cycle #2 - 7/10 = BFP #1 - Missed miscarriage 9/2/10
11/12 - BFP #2 - 11/22 - m/c
5/1/11 - BFP #3 - Pre-eclampsia, IUGR & bed rest from 32w. DD born via induction 1/4/12.
A few people know we are TTC#3, but not everyone. Just a few close friends.
I plan on telling everyone as soon as it happens. Well, I will tell my close family when I get a + HPT, and will tell everyone else once we get confirmation via ultrasound. I know a lot of people wait until 12 weeks or so to tell others, but I don't want to wait. I had a m/c before and want to enjoy being pregnant as long as I can and embrace my baby from the beginning. If I have to tell people about another m/c (hopefully NOT!), then I will. We had told everyone we were expecting when we had our first m/c and had to "untell" them. Yes it was hard, but everyone was so supportive that it was helpful not to to have to go through it alone.
Baby #2: 12 cycles, 1 failed FET, natural miracle but m/c at 9 weeks then another natural miracle that stuck! 9-30-09
TTC #3 - 4 cycles - no BFP yet!
My and my husband decided that we weren't going to tell anyone. My main reason was that I didn't want people asking me about it and just stressing me out more. This has been really hard but it is kinda nice to just have a secret between the two of us. I think some people might expect that were could be trying just from knowing us but no one knows for sure. I just started on the bump because I can at least come on here and feel like I am telling someone and can get it out of my system. It is also nice to know that other people are in the some boat.
As for when we do get pregnant I plan on just telling my parents right away (his have big mouths and won't be able to keep it a secret) I think I would like to wiat until around the 10 week mark or so to tell other people but I don't know how hard that is going to be especially since I won't be drinking when we go out like I normally would and I think people will just now anyways.
I've had several people ask me about it, because DH and I have been married for almost 6 years now and apparently there's a point at which you're considered strange if you're not KU :oP I've told my boss and immediate department colleague because before I can start TTC I have to make some prescription changes which require a lot of doctors appointments. I've also told my mother in generalities, again because of the medical implications.
Once I do get pregnant, I don't intend to tell anyone until we're past the 12-week threshold, but we'll see how that goes. My parents live in Europe (I'm a Brit abroad), so they won't know until I tell them, but DH's parents live right here in the good ol' USA and I'm not sure whether we'll be able to keep it that long if I actually have to see them.