Babies: 0 - 3 Months

10 Reasons I Want to Punch DH in the Face

I love DH and how much he loves our family, but right now I kinda wanna punch him in the face. So I thought it would be therapeutic to list 10 reasons why. Feel free to add to my list...

1. You always hog DD when we're in public, but love to pass her off as soon as we're home or you're not in front of an audience.

2. You get to sleep all night, every night, but always complain how tired you are.

3. DD never gets you messy (I'm always covered in spit up, poo, sweat...)

4. You don't understand why I'm so upset about DD starting daycare next week

5. You think I should be able to sleep while BFing

6. You always make cow jokes and insist on hand pumping my boobs while I'm pumping

7. You always want to have sex at 11pm, after I just spent 3 hours trying to get LO to sleep. And then you pout when I say no.

8. You think I spoil DD and she should CIO at this age

9. Whenever you off to help lay DD down, I know she'll going to be up and overtired for another 2 hours.

10. You get to shower, brush your teeth, and make coffee whenever you want 

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Re: 10 Reasons I Want to Punch DH in the Face

  • 11. I understand you just got off work and home but I'm not the only one that can get off the couch when she's fussing after waking up from her nap.
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  • Are you arriees to my husband??? 
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  • imageMomlovesEloise:

    10. You get to shower, brush your teeth, and make coffee whenever you want 

    ... and don't understand how or why I can't.

    STM due Feb. 2017!
  • #12. When I ask you to give him a bottle in the middle of the night b/c I was just up for 2 hours and can't see straight you say, "Are you serious?"
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  • #13.  When you have a day off you get to have a whole day off.  For some reason you believe it is acceptable to still send her to the babysitter, because you have stuff you need to get done. 

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  • #13 When he is staying up late to watch a basketball/baseball/hockey/whatever game and I ask him to take DS so I can get some sleep and he acts really put out to do so.  Really?  Is it that hard to hold a baby while you sit on the couch?
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  • #14- Because I TOLD him NOT to try and change DS's sleeping hours (because the kid will still wake up for the day at the same damn time).... yet last night DS was up until 3 am. Aaaaand awake for the day at nine. Guess who got up with him when DS woke? You got it. Me. Even though I'm starting midnight shift tomorrow.

    Azzhole.

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  • 15) Because when you have a 'vacation day' from work (like a Monday holiday), you think it gives you license to sit around all day and watch tv/watch video games.....when I think a random vacation day is a day to get things done
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  • #15 - You say you have to sleep in another room during the week because the baby would keep you up and you need rest for work, yet on the weekends while you nap on the couch the baby could be screaming at the top of his lungs two inches from your ear and you are out cold, not even a slight twitch.
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  • While I'm in the midst of a 2 hour cluster feeding session at night and I ask you to get me a glass of water and fold the laundry you get pissed because you've been working all day and just want to relax.  REALLY???????
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  • #16- you know how much I hate pumping and the stress I have had over it so don't make jokes about how you want to help milk me and when I have on my homemade handfree bra don't stare at me and ask for me to just wear it and let my nipples stick out.  I don't feel even a little sexy so jokes about how sexy it is are not getting you anywhere but days away from my vagina!

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  • imagecougarlicious:
    #15 - You say you have to sleep in another room during the week because the baby would keep you up and you need rest for work, yet on the weekends while you nap on the couch the baby could be screaming at the top of his lungs two inches from your ear and you are out cold, not even a slight twitch.

    THIS!

     

    Also: when the baby is crying, it's not *always* because "he's hungry". Instead of using breastfeeding as an excuse to not learn to soothe your son, why not just TRY to get him to stop crying?

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  • 16.  You get mad at me when I say I'm tired because I've been up all night with the baby and I didn't wake you up when it was your turn.  Then you get mad at me when I wake you up when it's your turn.  MAKE UP YOUR EFFING MIND
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  • When I flat out say that LO needs a diaper change, you do nothing. Yet when I actually get up and am halfway to the nursery, you say 'I can do that' in a pissy mood that makes it sound like I don't let you do anything. I'm already up, have the baby and am halfway there dumbass!
  • imageTakeLuck:

     

    Also: when the baby is crying, it's not *always* because "he's hungry". Instead of using breastfeeding as an excuse to not learn to soothe your son, why not just TRY to get him to stop crying?

     

    this EXACTLY!!!!  arg Angry

  • this is the best thread EVER.
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  • Don't get mad at me when I try to show you how LO likes to be held when drinking his bottle. Because you can obviously see that he won't take it when you feed him because of how you hold him. DUH....
    Nicholas Aiden Feb.25th,2011 at 12:58pm 5lbs 4oz 18" Photobucket Lilypie First Birthday tickers 32 week 4D Ultra Sound & Born 2/25/2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • don't get all upset when she calms right down when I take her from you,  it could be the fact that I am the one that comforts her 99.5% of the time and that I am calm.  If you want to change this you may just want to hold, feed, or change her a little more often.  Otherwise quit crying about it, she will outgrow it and you will be the fun parent soon enough!

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  • imageMrs.Honeybear:
    this is the best thread EVER.

    Seriously!  I want to print it out and give to DH as a heads up!

  • imageRIMROCK:

    don't get all upset when she calms right down when I take her from you,  it could be the fact that I am the one that comforts her 99.5% of the time and that I am calm.  If you want to change this you may just want to hold, feed, or change her a little more often.  Otherwise quit crying about it, she will outgrow it and you will be the fun parent soon enough!

    Couldn't of said it better myself....

    Nicholas Aiden Feb.25th,2011 at 12:58pm 5lbs 4oz 18" Photobucket Lilypie First Birthday tickers 32 week 4D Ultra Sound & Born 2/25/2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageJustMeInFlorida:
    Don't get mad at me when I try to show you how LO likes to be held when drinking his bottle. Because you can obviously see that he won't take it when you feed him because of how you hold him. DUH....

    oh and FYI take the f****ing pack of cigarettes and the lighter out of your shirt pocket when you hold him, he might not like the fact that it's poking him the face....dumbazz

    Nicholas Aiden Feb.25th,2011 at 12:58pm 5lbs 4oz 18" Photobucket Lilypie First Birthday tickers 32 week 4D Ultra Sound & Born 2/25/2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Oh I forgot one...

    You never snap DD's onsie or put her pants on after you change her diaper. Is it really that f-ing hard?!?!

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  • And if she has been crying and crying and seems like she is warm,  taking all of her clothes off won't help.  Fvcking idiot!  Try soothing her not freezing her!

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  • Mocking the babys cry only pisses him off more. The kid never laughs from it...so why do you keep doing it? Use that energy to shut the kid up!
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  • eturpeturp member
    please stop trying to "teach" DS to like things he simply doesn't, like getting his diaper changed. you'd probably have more luck teaching him calculus at this point and dragging them out while wasting time shushing him and asking that he be quiet makes you look like an a$$
  • imageeturp:
    asking that he be quiet

    do all DH do this? ask the infant to stop crying, to be still, to be quiet, whats wrong...like he is suddenly going to understand what the hell you are saying and respond back? I thought it was just mine lol

    1ht

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  • imageRIMROCK:

    don't get all upset when she calms right down when I take her from you,  it could be the fact that I am the one that comforts her 99.5% of the time and that I am calm. 

     Yes!

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  • Every time you see DS nursing, you say "can I get the other one?" If this happens one more time, you're going down!!!

    Also, he IS NOT hungry EVERY TIME he fusses!!!

  • imagekmlevine04@gmail.com:
    15) Because when you have a 'vacation day' from work (like a Monday holiday), you think it gives you license to sit around all day and watch tv/watch video games.....when I think a random vacation day is a day to get things done

    This... I'm not sure when I last had a day totally off to just sit on my @ss.

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  • When I get back into bed after a middle of the night feeding you groan and roll over like I'm disturbing your sleep. At 1 week PP you told me my jiggly belly was "fat". When you successfully get a burp out of DS you act like I don't know how to burp him and should learn for you.
    Formerly known as ms.mittens Jude 12/31/2008 Ezra 2/10/2011 Nora 7/23/2013 Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Every single one of these applies to my husband. I dont understand it. When he does help he says, " Well I took care of him last night." It was 3 freakin hours!!!!!!!!! UGH! I really started to hate my husband over the weekend until I talked to him and he will supposidly start helping more. I cant wait for him to get hom Sunday night and we will really see.
  • imageTakeLuck:

    imagecougarlicious:
    #15 - You say you have to sleep in another room during the week because the baby would keep you up and you need rest for work, yet on the weekends while you nap on the couch the baby could be screaming at the top of his lungs two inches from your ear and you are out cold, not even a slight twitch.

    THIS!

     

    Also: when the baby is crying, it's not *always* because "he's hungry". Instead of using breastfeeding as an excuse to not learn to soothe your son, why not just TRY to get him to stop crying?

    Must be a man thing. My husband, dad, and FIL all pass my son off to me everytime he cries saying, "oh boy, someone is hungry!" Really?! Because I could swear I just fed him 15 minutes ago!!!!

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  • He's getting better since our DS is getting older but it used to BUG me when he would take DS and say "Whaat?" whenever he'd be fussy.  I'd always say "What is going to be his first word."  At least now he tries to "talk" to him.  OH and when he'd come home from work and not really interact with DS. After a couple times of this happening I finally said something because it was really bothering me and that's why bath time is daddy time; luckily he felt there was a distance between him & DS so it hasn't happened since. 

    OH and the fact that he still wants to go out and stay out late (8 or later....hahaha I sound like an old lady!).  I get it, you like hanging out with your family/friends, but being at a sports bar/their house/etc. after DS's bedtime isn't fun for me...DS's tired and needs his sleep.

    One last thing...stop making it sound like BFing is a burden.  I'm going to do it as long as I can because it's what I feel is best for him; be supportive and stop making me feel that you want me to quit so we can go do "fun" things.  I'm no longer concerned about BFing in public; that's what blankets/covers are for so we can still do "fun" things.

    And I thought I only had 1 complaint. haha

  • This completely made my day!  I thought it was only my DH, funny and FRUSTRATING how they all do he same thing.  
  • imageMomlovesEloise:

    Oh I forgot one...

    You never snap DD's onsie or put her pants on after you change her diaper. Is it really that f-ing hard?!?!

    FOMG, this. Or better yet, why do you snap ONE snap so it rides between his thigh and diaper like a thong??

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  • imageRIMROCK:

    #13.  When you have a day off you get to have a whole day off.  For some reason you believe it is acceptable to still send her to the babysitter, because you have stuff you need to get done. 

     

    My husband does this!!

  • imageRIMROCK:

    don't get all upset when she calms right down when I take her from you,  it could be the fact that I am the one that comforts her 99.5% of the time and that I am calm.  If you want to change this you may just want to hold, feed, or change her a little more often.  Otherwise quit crying about it, she will outgrow it and you will be the fun parent soon enough!

    This. Giving me the evil eye doesnt soothe the baby. He doesn't like to be messed with every second he's awake, give the kid a break and perhaps he wont cry! 1ht

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  • imageJenniferMatos:

    imageeturp:
    asking that he be quiet

    do all DH do this? ask the infant to stop crying, to be still, to be quiet, whats wrong...like he is suddenly going to understand what the hell you are saying and respond back? I thought it was just mine lol

    1ht

    Oh yea, my DH tries to reason with her.
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    Married 12/8/07 | Sleeve Gastrectomy 10/19/09
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  • You cry that you are so tired from taking care of DS while I'm at work (he's SAH for now) but I just worked 10 hrs on my feet with no break, not even to pump! And now I have to come home at 1am and pump, get ready for bed, do any feedings during the night, and wake up at 7am with DS, all the while you are sleeping/playing video games. And since, while you are home all night and I'm working, you don't do any house work, I now have to do that too!! 

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  • A little help with the dishes would be nice.  I hate it when you leave them for me to do in the morning "so I'll have something to do during the day."  Because taking care of YOUR daughter isn't enough!
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