Pregnant after a Loss

I am so freaking pissed right now.

I am all about snark, random conversations about nothing, even OOTDs, but today proved why I should stay far, far away from the Nest.  There was a post today on ML that overwhelmed me with its audacity.  

It was about a Bumpie who had a picture of her LO's feet in her siggy.  Her little girl was born at about 20 weeks, and so the feet are super tiny.  Now, I understand that some people could find that disturbing, especially if that person had never been close to a loss of that nature.  I personally don't feel comfortable posting pictures of Bryce, mostly because they are of a horrible quality and they overwhelm me with grief when I see them.  That is my choice, and I respect others who feel differently, as it is an expression of their grief.

The reaction some of those women had makes me want to lock them in a room with me on September 17, 2010.  I tried to explain, and I don't know why.  People who think that way are just f'ed in the head, and I am trying to remind myself that I should be grateful for not knowing any of them in real life.

BFP #1 - Twin B lost at 5w
Bryce Addison  I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
Our baby boy was born sleeping on 9.17.10. He was 19w1d.
BFP #2 - Twin B lost at 4w
Twin A
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BFP #3 - Lost at 5w
BFP #4 - Lost at 4w
BFP #5
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Re: I am so freaking pissed right now.

  • I haven't seen the post, but some people are just stupid, internet or in real life. They just don't get it, and you can't explain anything to stupid people.

    I'm sorry.

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  • That's awful. I get upset on a lot of other boards, I try to stick around here primarily.
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  • **butting in sorry** (ticker and LO's pics warning)

    The women who are commenting about how its horrible and "wrong" disgust me! First of all why make a entire post about this poor women and her picture of her lost angel baby???!!! That infuriates me so much right now! 

    Like you said you have not posted pics of your LO but that is your decision and for someone else it is their way of coping and remembering....give that to her! For Christ sake its the least she should be able to do!

     Ok sorry rant over..but I still might give them a piece of my mind...

    **butting out..sorry again** 

     

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  • I've seen conversations like that on TB/Nest and it is unbelievable how aweful some people can be.. Super Angry
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  • I don't dare to look because I'm afraid there would be some skull-crushing on my part. The fact that women are being judgmental there pisses me off beyond belief. She has every right to have that picture there and anyone that doesn't understand that can go to hell.
    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
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  • How absolutely awful!

    I have not experienced or witnessed this first hand, but I am pissed just reading your description of it in this post! Ugh!

    * PAL/PgAL Bumpie & NBC-Twi Nestie * imageBloggity Blog BFP #1 in 2001 ? natural m/c @ 9w4d ? TTC our first since 2009 ? BFP #2 on 8/25/2010 ? natural M/C @ 7w6d on 9/25/2010 Clomid cycle #1 @ 50mg = BFP #3 on 1/1/11 ~ EDD 9/14/2011!!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I know which bumpie you are talking about because I have seen her post, usually on the high-risk board.  It breaks my heart when I see those cute little feet and makes me think for a second about putting Nola's pictures up but like you said it is very difficult to see on a regular basis because it is still so raw and full of grief to do it but I agree that I think it's great when other moms can do it, doesn't botehr me in the slightest.  I never go on the nest I'm always disappointed with the level of ignorance there as well as the tri boards and often times the month boards too, I just stay here. 

    On a side note I think of it whenever I see your siggy that we both went through an awful loss on the same day, 9/17/10, so I feel for you.  ((hugs))

    ?DD 9/17/10 22wks I carry you in my heart.?
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  • When I was active on TTCAL, I remember a thread like that on TIP.  It was really disappointing how disrespectful some people could be.  What made it worse was there was a lot of women that had expereienced loss that would still make rude comments about it, as if they were justified in being cruel just because they had "been there" too. 

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  • I hate that people are so hateful.  About a year ago or so, there was this same drama.  It was pretty huge.  And if you can believe it, it was focused on the MC/PL board.  So women who had very recent losses were subject to invaders on the board making outrageous comments about their sigs and sig pics.  And they went to that board to do it.  It's very sad and depressing that there are people like that.
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  • I saw that post. The thing about ML, the vibe there is who can be the biggest a-hole and get people riled up...it's all about reaction. It made me sick too, and I feel so bad for that girl :(
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  • Ugh!  I read that thread.  Those women lack basic empathy. 
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  • Honestly I think some people just lack the respect gene. Regardless of how you feel about something, if you know your remarks are going to hurt another person you just shouldn't say anything. I mean it was in Bambi for crying out loud.
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  • imageGummybear:
    I saw that post. The thing about ML, the vibe there is who can be the biggest a-hole and get people riled up...it's all about reaction. It made me sick too, and I feel so bad for that girl :(

    This.  They kind of thrive off all the drama and bashing of other people both on their own board and on others.  I don't really get it.

    bumping from my phone. please pardon any typos and missing punctuation
  • There are a lot of stupid and insensitive people out there.  I am also glad I don't have anyone like that in my family.  Hugs
    BFP 1: 08Aug10, EDD: 14Apr11, D&E 11Sep10 BFP 2: 29Jan11, EDD: 12Oct11, DS born 07Oct11!!! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • That stuff doesn't surprise me anymore.  On my local nest boards years ago some women thought that anyone that had m/c info in their siggy should take it out b/c it was inconsiderate of those who had one and didn't want to see reminders.  Nice right?  There are just always people that think the general public should abide by what they deem appropriate b/c apparently they are that special.
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  • That is just so F'd up! I don't even know what to say. How dare these women! I really don't know what is wrong with people...
    TTC since Aug 2006 met RE Oct 2007-Lap/Hyst/HSG=normal Boodwork=normal DX:annovulation/poor egg quality DH-SA/Bloodwork=perfect after 4 cycles+IUI finally BFP May 2008 Pre-E/ HELLP DS born C/S Jan 26,2009 = LOVE OF OUR LIFE Surprise BFP Dec 2010 EDD AUG 22,2011 natural M/C @ 9 wks baby measured 6 wks March 2011 BFP! EDD Nov 22,2011 PLEASE, PLEASE STICK LO Beta 3/16-103 Prog-22 Beta 3/18-261 Beta 3/21-973 Prog-19 Beta 3/23-1975 BabyFruit Ticker
  • imageitsmegin:
    That's awful. I get upset on a lot of other boards, I try to stick around here primarily.

     

     

    This. I only have a two other boards I vist. PGAIF and BMB.

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  • I haven't seen this post, but I'm 99% sure I know which poster you're talking about. What the fvck is wrong with these people?!?
    Stillbirth at 23w6d on Sept, 22, 2008 M/C at 5 weeks June 14, 2010 My miracle, James Frederick born May 2, 2011 via C-section
  • imageitsmegin:
    That's awful. I get upset on a lot of other boards, I try to stick around here primarily.

    Ditto.

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  • I remember a similar post several months ago. It's disgusting to think that people like that exist.
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  • Thankfully the post has now been locked and the link to the persons siggy removed. 

    I think its disgusting that someone would take time out of their day to purposely attack someone who's clearly suffered a tragic loss.  Most of the responses were equally disgusting (not yours obviously, I thought yours was worded really well). 

     

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

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