Who's going to be in the room when you have the baby?

lizliechti · March 2011

I thought about having the hubby, mother, and sister BUT I realized I don't want all those people staring at me when I'm in the middle of all this. I'm a really private person. I don't even like to change clothes in front of people. I decided to just have my husband with me.

My mother is perfectly fine with my decision but my sister is really upset. She's a nurse and said she's seen woman give birth 1000's of times and she's always wanted to be in the room with me.

I actually do feel kind of bad but it's my choice, yout know?

SarahPLiz · March 2011

Just DH. My mom and godmother will be contacted when I am pushing, but they live 7 hours away, so that gives me plenty of time.

kathymarie · March 2011

Just my husband.

I was in the room when my sister had her baby and so was my mother. It wasn't planned that way; my sister decided it at the last minute. I really feel like it made us closer and the bond I developed with my niece is incredible.

However, you have to do what makes you comfortable. Make no apologies for your decision! It's your experience.

toriwc · March 2011

Just DH.

Karen1998 · March 2011

Your sister has no say in this; it's your decision.

DH and I will be the only ones in there other than medical personnel. We don't even plan on calling our families until we're 5-8 cm dilated, as otherwise they'd literally come and sit in the waiting room for hours (after driving 4-5 hours to get here). They're not in the shape to do that and it would only make me worry. We also plan to have the first few hours with the baby as our personal alone time so we can bond and I can breastfeed.

pennysuedog · March 2011

It is your body and you need to be comfortable. My In-laws were in the room during the beginning part of labor with DS. My contractions really were starting to hurt and
I wanted to moan or whimper but I just struggled through them because I was embarrassed having them there. Your focus needs to be on gettingthe baby out not being weirded out by having your sister there.

DreamAmor · March 2011

Just my husband.

Saltina11 · March 2011

DH only.

aLsMay24 · March 2011

I hope to have my mom and sister there during the early parts of labor if they are willing but once it comes to pushing and that actual delivery I am undecided. H is in med school and really wants to deliver LO (hoping all goes well) and I think I will want someone up with me. I would rather have either my mom or sister then hiring a doula.

abrazz · March 2011

DH, my sister and mom were there for DD. I only planned for DH to be in there but I changed my mind when they told me I was complete. I was so focused I barely noticed DH holding my hand . I watched the video, we didn't tape the delivery, but right before I pushed the nurse had to get DH a chair and he was laying his head on my stomach during delivery. He said he thought he was going to pass out. I have no memory of that lol. You may not care so much when you get to that point but if you feel strongly about it then I would stick with your plan.

ChefSarah22 · March 2011

Just my husband and the medical staff. Although, my sister will be 17 when the baby is born. Maybe being in the room would scare her into a nunnery? LOL!

mabma80 · March 2011

It is your choice, and she needs to respect it. Good for you standing your ground! : )

DH will be the only one in there. : )

WashingtonQueen · March 2011

My fiance, my mother and my little brother. I could not imagine going through labor and delivery without them!

mdargie · March 2011

Now, granted I have never given birth before, but I feel like I would be ok with any of my immediate family seeing me before I start pushing or anything, granted that I'm appropriately covered up. Once I start pushing, only DH and MAYBE my mom will be there. DH is not so good with comforting and I suspect he may have a hard time dealing and I will definitely need some comforting. So, depending on whether or not he steps up, my mom may be there. I will be playing it by ear and I'm sure no one will be offended either way.

Lindsaywillo · March 2011

Just the hubs...my mom is pressuring me to be in the room too but I don't think so! I just had my husband in the room when we had our daughter and that was perfect. She's laying on the guilt trip that she'll never be able to see a baby being born! Oh well!! Who wants everyone staring at your crotch during delivery...not me!!!

CA2006 · March 2011

My rule for my first babay and for this one is: If you weren't in the room for the conception, you will not be in the room for the delivery.

Kuraks10 · March 2011

my momma and my hubby will be there for mine.

eli_and_jeff · March 2011

Just DH and the doula. I'm not in to having a huge audience to my, umm, al fresco-ness.

It is totally your choice, and I completely understand the pressure (my mom's been asking to be in the room when I give birth for the last decade). Sometimes I kinda want to scream: Hey, it's my pain and my bare behind, I get to decide who watches! But that would probably cause some sore feelings

My friend caved and let her MIL and mom in and she still still regrets it 7 years later.

ally2011 · March 2011

I think it is a special time for husband and wife and should only be between them. I will have a doula, but that is to help me (hopefully) achieve a natural birth. Is your sister married? If not, that may be part of the problem - not understanding the special bond between husband and wife. Either way, I would just tell her you want that time alone with your husband and hope she can respect that. She will eventually get over it, don't cave on something like this - it is your birth and no one else (besides your husband) is justified in having an opinion about it. Good luck!

wfdfire607 · March 2011

Just my FI and my doula. My FSIL already told me I'll be her first SIL that doesn't want them in there. Oh well, I don't need a bunch of people staring at me.

water-fairy · March 2011

Only DH.

AshleyEric609 · March 2011

Scheduled C-section...so just DH and the Dr/nurses.

fraglette · March 2011

Just DH. It's a birth, not dinner theater.

cge_2009 · March 2011

DH, mom and at least one...if not all 3 of my sisters. Smile

MrsM1113 · March 2011

fraglette:
Just DH. It's a birth, not dinner theater.

Bwhahaha. Love it.

aliska · March 2011

DH, best friend, and midwife...that's it. I wanted my friend there so that DH could take a break if needed (we're going all natural in a free standing birth center). I also want her to help me clean up afterwards so that DH can stay with DD.

cynth1 · March 2011

I was not having anyone in the room with me except my DH. But, then my baby was breech and I had to have a C-section so it did not matter anyway. Of course with a C-section you are totally exposed with a bunch of strangers but, at least I never had to see them again.

kristin516 · March 2011

Just my husband. I had initially said my mom and maybe his mom, but we have changed our mind since then. I think that it's a special moment for just the two of us to share. Both of our mom's are okay with that. I would also like time afterward for us to bond with the baby without everyone else. (There will be 4 sets of grandparents!) Not sure how well that'll go over, but it's our first baby and really want that time. Any suggestions on how to tell them this??

mandyhall2882 · March 2011

lizliechti:

I'm a really private person. I don't even like to change clothes in front of people. I decided to just have my husband with me.

Me too. I know my mom is going to want to be in there, but I feel that I need the privacy. I'm just going to have my DH with me.

kms24 · March 2011

It is up to you. i am having my mom and possibly my significant other if they allow me more than one during my c-section. i told my birth mom, after she insisted she was going to be there, that i already decided who was going to be with me. She got mad and didnt contact me for 2 days! oh well. i had my first child and was alone. she couldve been there but she chose not to. my daughter was born with her intestines on the outside and she had to have surgery right after birth. instead my birth mom decided to use her gas money to get drunk, as usual. things are still the same and she expects me to allow that back into my life AND my childrens lives...no.

HappyAardvark · March 2011

kristin516:
Just my husband. I had initially said my mom and maybe his mom, but we have changed our mind since then. I think that it's a special moment for just the two of us to share. Both of our mom's are okay with that. I would also like time afterward for us to bond with the baby without everyone else. (There will be 4 sets of grandparents!) Not sure how well that'll go over, but it's our first baby and really want that time. Any suggestions on how to tell them this??

Hey mom, MIL, I've given it some more thought, and when our baby is born and right afterwards, I only want DH to be at the hospital with me. We will call everyone to come to the hospital when we are ready for visitors. I hope you can support my decision, because this is *my* call and it is not up for negotiation. XOXO

cynth1 · March 2011

HappyAardvark:
kristin516:
Just my husband. I had initially said my mom and maybe his mom, but we have changed our mind since then. I think that it's a special moment for just the two of us to share. Both of our mom's are okay with that. I would also like time afterward for us to bond with the baby without everyone else. (There will be 4 sets of grandparents!) Not sure how well that'll go over, but it's our first baby and really want that time. Any suggestions on how to tell them this??
Hey mom, MIL, I've given it some more thought, and when our baby is born and right afterwards, I only want DH to be at the hospital with me. We will call everyone to come to the hospital when we are ready for visitors. I hope you can support my decision, because this is *my* call and it is not up for negotiation. XOXO

I felt the same way. When I found out that I had to have a C-section I was so afraid that people were going to be able to see and hold my baby before me because I was in recovery. But, the hospital I delivered at was great they kept the baby in recovery with me and then once I was moved they have a policy called the golden hour. That is one hour where just mom, dad, and baby get to spend time as a new family. Then once you are done with that you can invited people to come in and visit. My thoughts were I carried this baby for 9 months I should get all the time I want to without everyone suffocating us. I love my family and they are all very supportive but this is my time with baby and DH. I was in recover from 6:45am until 12:00pm. Then we had our golden hour and my mom and sister did not come back until close to 1:30pm.

jntaylor11 · March 2011

Just DH, I wouldnt feel comfortable having anyone else in there...

JaninneAlvarado · March 2011

Just DH. I had an extremely quick labor with my first son and my younger sister was there. To this day she "teases" me about my bottom half. I went from being dilated to 4cm-10cm and had the baby in a total of 55 minutes. They were lucky to get an IV in my hand with everything that was going on. I figured she'd be in the waiting room but she was right there. All I remember is telling DH "you were half the reason we are here so you're gonna get down there and watch!!" My mom wanted to drive up to see us (she was 4 hrs away) She was planning on leaving a couple hours after I called her and still have time but when we called her an hour later she was shocked!! I never imagined my sister or mother there. I have 3 sisters and the one that was in the delivery room would be my least likely choice if I did it all over again. Long story short. My kids are healthy and the past is now just a memory. =D

lookingformommyland · March 2011

yup your choice so do what YOU feel most comfortable with.

gwendarling · March 2011

Ugh. as much as I love my mother and MIL, I cringe at the thought of having them in the room with me.

Elsker · March 2011

DH only. Mom can be very aggressive in stressful times and I want to still love her after it's all over with

My sister was going to be in with me (she's a masseuse..figured that would be nice), until she told me she was going to sneak in a video camera specifically to tape "down there" while the baby is making it's way out....

cwyland · March 2011

For certain my husband and mother will be there. MIL might be if she's in town at the right time. I pretty much feel OK with any female I'm close to being there, but who knows how I'll feel that day. My SIL (brother's wife) is terrified of childbirth, so she may opt out, but it would probably be a good experience for her. The only female that is an absolute no for me is my brother's annoying leech of a girlfriend. But she'll probably spend her time in the waiting room complaining to go home (if they even get her butt in the car to begin with).

xtinaxmariex · March 2011

DH and I. Especially since its our first, we really wanted to experience it together in eachother's privacy

Just the fam.

katxattack · March 2011

I am having my hubby and best female friend. There is NO WAY I would even consider my mother in the room. Shes a constant source of negativity so...nope! And I am sure she won't understand. I really do not want or need extra stress just because she is there!

bluerevolution9 · March 2011

We are planning a home birth for the very reason that I don't want strangers around me when I give birth. I am a doula by profession and I see how adversely it affects the women when the room is filled with people, whether she knows them or not. Where I live a woman is only allowed two people with her in the delivery room beyond the staff. I think there is something good about that. The more people in the room the more likely the woman is to feel 'performance anxiety' about how she is acting, moving, progressing, looking, ect. Women need to feel uninhibited in birth. I really suggest the minimal amount of people around you, family or hospital staff. The less people who come in the better.

I am going to just have DH and our midwife.

Good luck!

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