Vent...(Warning...sensitive subject) LONG!

Kath1424 · March 2011

MrsGo4Hockeychick:
SailorGray:
I agree. How is killing a baby easier than giving the baby a loving home with a family that so badly wants him/her? FTR, I am pro-life. It disgusts me when people use abortion as BC.
there is a LOT of ignorance and/or stupidity about adoption on these boards.

have you been adopted or part of the adoption trio?? if not then i think the ignorance lies there.

SailorGray · March 2011

Honestly, ladies, I cannot believe the responses of some of you. Of course, I know adoption is not easy. I never said it was. I do, however, believe that adoption is a smart choice for a bad decision. Also, some of you make it sound like abortion is easy. I do not think that is an easy choice either.

Nothing you will say will make me change my mind that that killing a baby is a better choice than giving that baby a chance at life. I am curious as to why you all are jumping on me. Is it because I actually admitted that I am pro-life? I was not the only one who thought adoption is a better solution...

SailorGray · March 2011

rvandiver0705:
SailorGray:
MrsGo4Hockeychick:

SailorGray:
I agree. How is killing a baby easier than giving the baby a loving home with a family that so badly wants him/her? FTR, I am pro-life. It disgusts me when people use abortion as BC.

there is a LOT of ignorance and/or stupidity about adoption on these boards.

Um, are you calling me ignorant or stupid? I really hope not as you know nothing about me. Now THAT would be ignorant....

Well, now I am, simply because of your reading comprehension skills.

Uh, where did my reading comprehension skills fail me? I think I was pretty dead-on.

Gummybear · March 2011

SailorGray:
Honestly, ladies, I cannot believe the responses of some of you. Of course, I know adoption is not easy. I never said it was. I do, however, believe that adoption is a smart choice for a bad decision. Also, some of you make it sound like abortion is easy. I do not think that is an easy choice either.

Nothing you will say will make me change my mind that that killing a baby is a better choice than giving that baby a chance at life. I am curious as to why you all are jumping on me. Is it because I actually admitted that I am pro-life? I was not the only one who thought adoption is a better solution...

I actually agree with you, that it is a good solution/alternative. I just don't like the idea that it is the right one for everyone. I don't want to change your mind and I respect that you are pro-life.

I am actually more upset my the heartless "cut this horrible person out of your life" wave of responses. Don't know how old OP is, but I am imaging mid-twenties, at least. I cannot imagine dropping a friend I've known for decades because of her choices that IMO, are a result of OTHER influences in her life, one being the obvious, abuse. It makes me sick. This girl AND her children need help.

Gummybear · March 2011

And the fact that she drives a Lexus that has nice rims is irrelevant. Let me guess, she has acrylic nails that she gets done every 2 weeks and carries a Coach purse too? Saying things like that degrades the argument and makes one look like an ignorant, right-winged checkbook clutcher. And surprise, I myself an a registered Republican so I am not some bleeding heart Liberal trying to insult people who don't think like me.

tmp-493670500007520 · March 2011

Gummybear:

I am going to be the unpopular one here, and I am actually kind of shocked by my reaction, but I think cutting her out of your life is ruthless. She sounds like she has lots of other issues in her life besides unwanted pregnancies. And if she wasn't choosing to terminate, she would be bringing children into a life of disarray and abuse. And while I think adoption is noble, it's not always attainable and can be very difficult for the birth mother. A lot of my friends make choices I vehemently disagree with but if they are true friends (and it sounds like you have a long history and close relationship with this person) I stick with them through thick and thin.

The thing about being pro-choice - often times people are going to chose to do something you think is wrong. We can't be pro-choice only when we agree with the choice someone is making. From what your friend said when you told her about your pregnancy, she has some remorse and guilt. She sounds like a damaged person -- esp. if she is putting up with an abusive man and not ending things or protecting her other children. I would stick by her and maybe try to help her and your god daughter in other areas. I really feel bad for her.

Yes What wise wise words.

Janimal · March 2011

What GummyBear said. All of it.

MrsGo4Hockeychick · March 2011

Kath1424:
MrsGo4Hockeychick:
SailorGray:
I agree. How is killing a baby easier than giving the baby a loving home with a family that so badly wants him/her? FTR, I am pro-life. It disgusts me when people use abortion as BC.
there is a LOT of ignorance and/or stupidity about adoption on these boards.

have you been adopted or part of the adoption trio?? if not then i think the ignorance lies there.

hardly. There are many more parties privy to the intricacies of adoption than the child and both sets of parents.

Go up and read what both rvandiver and gummybear said. The people who honestly believe that all babies would have a queue of people lining up to adopt them, should the birth mother choose are either ignorant, stupid or both.

I'm not saying abortion is easier...but every time these posts come up someone ALWAYS says "there are hundreds of people wanting to adopt! how selfish" and that's just not always true. I don't think believe most women take the decision between adoption, abortion and parenting lightly at all. And I'm willing to bet most of the people screaming "cut her out" have never been the person forced to make that choice.

*fist_pump* · March 2011

Eww you kind of suck at the whole friendship thing.

YWIA!

Mrs. Silveira · March 2011

shortie2008:
Maybe I notice odd things, but you mentioned abuse and the fact that she said "Lucky you" when you told her you were having a girl. If her boyfriend is abusing her, is it possible he kinda forced her into it? I don't know from the post whether it's emotional, mental, physical, sexual, etc, but either way, her mind is NOT in the right place. Makes me wonder if she wanted to get the abortion or he made her. Abuse often starts with emotional and mental abuse, so even if it hasn't escalated to physical, it can. The abusers tend to tear apart their victim's self-esteem and sense of worth. It's a LOT of control he'd have over her. Just saying.

Either way, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with my god-daughter living in a situation like that. Or a friend of mine.

Mrs. Silveira · March 2011

shortie2008:

Maybe I notice odd things, but you mentioned abuse and the fact that she said "Lucky you" when you told her you were having a girl. If her boyfriend is abusing her, is it possible he kinda forced her into it? I don't know from the post whether it's emotional, mental, physical, sexual, etc, but either way, her mind is NOT in the right place. Makes me wonder if she wanted to get the abortion or he made her. Abuse often starts with emotional and mental abuse, so even if it hasn't escalated to physical, it can. The abusers tend to tear apart their victim's self-esteem and sense of worth. It's a LOT of control he'd have over her. Just saying.

Either way, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with my god-daughter living in a situation like that. Or a friend of mine.

She told her boyfriend that she lost the baby instead of the truth which was that she aborted it. She said he knocked her up on purpose and that she didn't want to have another kid until she was married. In my opinion she should have went down and got BC after she had the 1st abortion especially if she already knew that she didn't want any more children until she was married. So this leads me to believe that she is irresponsible and too lazy to provide protection against getting pregnant. Anyone can buy condoms at the store-HELL they give them to you by the bag full at planned parenthood. As far as the abuse goes, it goes both ways, they are both abusive to each other-physically,emotionally and mentally. And yes, in front of the children.

Mrs. Silveira · March 2011

Gummybear:
And the fact that she drives a Lexus that has nice rims is irrelevant. Let me guess, she has acrylic nails that she gets done every 2 weeks and carries a Coach purse too? Saying things like that degrades the argument and makes one look like an ignorant, right-winged checkbook clutcher. And surprise, I myself an a registered Republican so I am not some bleeding heart Liberal trying to insult people who don't think like me.

Personally I don't think it degrades a damn thing...it shows what her priorities are.

Example: Crying on the phone about not having enough money to give you children a christmas yet spending $2000 on rims for baby daddys truck which he doesn't have license to drive nor insurance (but does anyways).

Example: not having enough gas or money to get gas to drive your children to school because you have a nail appt. that afternoon.

Example: not using protection when you know damn well that you wouldn't keep a baby should you conceive, instead just get an abortion FOR THE SECOND TIME!

Call me what you want- i.e. "right-winged checkbook clutcher" but you don't know how many times I have bailed this girl out financially to be slapped in the face with her poor decision making later. For the record, I was the one who drove her to her first abortion appt. I waited, took her home, cared for her for the entire night. She swore that she had made a mistake and that she was going to hell for it, that she would never do it again-and she wouldn't have had to if she were responsible and been using some sort of protection.

TheFannins729 · March 2011

sounds like she'd be better off without a "friend" like you.

MrsGo4Hockeychick · March 2011

TheFannins729:
sounds like she'd be better off without a "friend" like you.

yep. and the more she "explains", the more and more apparent this becomes.

everybabyisablessing23 · March 2011

I feel so very sorry for your friend. As you can tell from my SN, I'm very passionate about children. I truly believe that "every baby is a blessing". In fact I feel so strict about it, that if i were you in this situation, I'd consider doing an intervention with your friend. Bring your clergy, bring operation rescue volunteers with you. She needs to understand that whenever she allows a penis to enter her vagina, it shoul be for the purpose of procreation! Any child that is created is a child of god and deserves salvation. JESUS SAVES. Any woman that is not willing to carry a pregnancy to term should have a hysterectomy.

TimingisEverything · March 2011

everybabyisablessing23:
I feel so very sorry for your friend. As you can tell from my SN, I'm very passionate about children. I truly believe that "every baby is a blessing". In fact I feel so strict about it, that if i were you in this situation, I'd consider doing an intervention with your friend. Bring your clergy, bring operation rescue volunteers with you. She needs to understand that whenever she allows a penis to enter her vagina, it shoul be for the purpose of procreation! Any child that is created is a child of god and deserves salvation. JESUS SAVES. Any woman that is not willing to carry a pregnancy to term should have a hysterectomy.

You always say it best.

God bless you.

Mrs. Silveira · March 2011

everybabyisablessing23:
I feel so very sorry for your friend. As you can tell from my SN, I'm very passionate about children. I truly believe that "every baby is a blessing". In fact I feel so strict about it, that if i were you in this situation, I'd consider doing an intervention with your friend. Bring your clergy, bring operation rescue volunteers with you. She needs to understand that whenever she allows a penis to enter her vagina, it shoul be for the purpose of procreation! Any child that is created is a child of god and deserves salvation. JESUS SAVES. Any woman that is not willing to carry a pregnancy to term should have a hysterectomy.

Although my views on this subject are not quite as bold I have tried to give her an intervention, so to speak, and in the end she still is the one who makes her own choices, as she should. I just hope that she teaches her daughters the values of safe sex and that abortion is not a form of BC. As hard as an abortion may be emotionally it is also very hard on your body. My disapointment towards her is not that she had an abortion, as I have stated I am pro-choice, my disapointment towards her is that she chose to not protect herself after already experiencing this very same situation three years prior. The resources are there. Having a hysterectomy is a bit EXTREME...I would probably start with "tying my tubes" vs. telling my Dr. to clean me out after I am through having children!

Ryan&Kristin062009 · March 2011

I am pro choice as well but as you said, I don't think its okay to use it as a form of birth control. It's so incredibly irresponsible and unfair that she isn't on BC and just gets knocked up so quickly and terminates so easily, when there are smart, responsible couples out there who are so longing for a family of their own and have to struggle. it's just not right. I agree with a pp, I don't know how you are able to stay friends with her. Yikes

LoriFalce · March 2011

StefaniePace:

soon2Bkranz:
Personally I couldnt continue a friendship with somebody like that.

AGREE

I'm glad I don't have such judgmental, manipulative "friends."

femmeftle9 · March 2011

This thread is so full of WIN.

Seriously though Gummybear is awesome. The right to choose rests with the person making the choice and quite frankly it's no one's business regarding the "why."

ChristinaMT4 · March 2011

Janimal:
What GummyBear said. All of it.

Ditto.

TheLastCall · March 2011

everybabyisablessing23:
I feel so very sorry for your friend. As you can tell from my SN, I'm very passionate about children. I truly believe that "every baby is a blessing". In fact I feel so strict about it, that if i were you in this situation, I'd consider doing an intervention with your friend. Bring your clergy, bring operation rescue volunteers with you. She needs to understand that whenever she allows a penis to enter her vagina, it shoul be for the purpose of procreation! Any child that is created is a child of god and deserves salvation. JESUS SAVES. Any woman that is not willing to carry a pregnancy to term should have a hysterectomy.

Well aren't you just wonderful? Thanks for the heads up about Jesus. Good thing I want a child, so I'm not forced into major surgery against my will.

everybabyisablessing23 · March 2011

TheLastCall:

everybabyisablessing23:
I feel so very sorry for your friend. As you can tell from my SN, I'm very passionate about children. I truly believe that "every baby is a blessing". In fact I feel so strict about it, that if i were you in this situation, I'd consider doing an intervention with your friend. Bring your clergy, bring operation rescue volunteers with you. She needs to understand that whenever she allows a penis to enter her vagina, it shoul be for the purpose of procreation! Any child that is created is a child of god and deserves salvation. JESUS SAVES. Any woman that is not willing to carry a pregnancy to term should have a hysterectomy.

Well aren't you just wonderful? Thanks for the heads up about Jesus. Good thing I want a child, so I'm not forced into major surgery against my will.

well the way i see it, if you are willing to submit your body to major surgery (abortion) and kill a child given to you by our HOLY FATHER, then you might as well submit to a hysterectomy to save any future children from murder.

everybabyisablessing23 · March 2011

kdodge423:

everybabyisablessing23:
I feel so very sorry for your friend. As you can tell from my SN, I'm very passionate about children. I truly believe that "every baby is a blessing". In fact I feel so strict about it, that if i were you in this situation, I'd consider doing an intervention with your friend. Bring your clergy, bring operation rescue volunteers with you. She needs to understand that whenever she allows a penis to enter her vagina, it shoul be for the purpose of procreation! Any child that is created is a child of god and deserves salvation. JESUS SAVES. Any woman that is not willing to carry a pregnancy to term should have a hysterectomy.

Yes, because as we all know, every time a penis enters a vagina, it is consentual, especially in an abusive realtionship.

even so the child should not suffer for the sins of his father.

pretty_helmet · March 2011

because carrying a baby for nine months and giving it up is SO much easier.

TheLastCall · March 2011

everybabyisablessing23:
TheLastCall:

everybabyisablessing23:
I feel so very sorry for your friend. As you can tell from my SN, I'm very passionate about children. I truly believe that "every baby is a blessing". In fact I feel so strict about it, that if i were you in this situation, I'd consider doing an intervention with your friend. Bring your clergy, bring operation rescue volunteers with you. She needs to understand that whenever she allows a penis to enter her vagina, it shoul be for the purpose of procreation! Any child that is created is a child of god and deserves salvation. JESUS SAVES. Any woman that is not willing to carry a pregnancy to term should have a hysterectomy.

Well aren't you just wonderful? Thanks for the heads up about Jesus. Good thing I want a child, so I'm not forced into major surgery against my will.

well the way i see it, if you are willing to submit your body to major surgery (abortion) and kill a child given to you by our HOLY FATHER, then you might as well submit to a hysterectomy to save any future children from murder.

Confused Do you also think the poor should be sterilized against their will as well?

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