Vent...(Warning...sensitive subject) LONG!

Mrs. Silveira · March 2011

I had to get something off my chest that I havent been able to tell anyone else...so I have a friend, someone that I have grown up with and been close to since we were 5 years old. I am Godmother to her oldest daughter (she has two). She became pregnant with DD#1 at age 20 and the looser baby daddy has been in and out of jail, doesnt pay child support nor has had much do do with DD#1...now on to baby daddy #2...she started dating a guy much younger then her and low and behold became pregnant, she freaked out because he wasn't 18 yet (I know what you guys are thinking) and terminated the pregnancy. I told her to get on BC and stop having babies...

So what happens....she becomes pregnant with DD#2 and had her in June of 2009 with baby daddy #2 (who was thankfully of age by the time this happened). So now they live together and have had major financial problems, arguments, abuse etc....

I text her last week and shared the news that we found out we were having a little girl and she replied with "lucky you, i would have been due the same time-but that isn't happening now." I told her I was sorry to hear that and if she needed anything to let me know. So i talked to her yesterday and I asked her when did she loose the baby and she told me that she TERMINATED IT! I couldn't believe it. I asked her if she is on BC now and she said that she is on the Mirena. Thank the LORD.

I am just really upset that someone who has children, works three jobs- can still be so damn irresponsible. There are so many women out there that can't conceive and I just think to myself that all because she was too lazy to get BC from planned parenthood that this child life ended before it was given a chance.

I am "pro choice" but I am not ok with it being used as a form of BC. I don't know what to do or to say to her. I am so disapointed.

soon2Bkranz · March 2011

Personally I couldnt continue a friendship with somebody like that.

Mrs. Silveira · March 2011

Part of me just wanted to slap her and tell her to grow up and tell her that selfish behavior most likely will lead to selfish choices!

She doesn't have the support of anyone and has litterally been on her own trying to make a life for herself and her daughters for 8 years now but I am not sure that I can stand by her for much longer. The hard part is that I love my Goddaughter. its a tough situation.

SailorGray · March 2011

soon2Bkranz:
Personally I couldnt continue a friendship with somebody like that.

Me neither. I understand it's their right, but stuff like this really upsets me.

quezzo · March 2011

I would never talk with her again. I don't care ow close you've been all your lives, clearly she has different morals from you to be using abortion as BC. I've lost two babies due to miscarriage and I feel like she could have had them and given them to a family that would have loved them verses terminating them. So many people can't have them and those that can seem to forget what a miracle a child really is.

Lissa832 · March 2011

I couldn't be friends with someone like that. With all my judgmental honesty, she sounds like an irresponsible slvt. There is no way I could be around her without telling her how slvtty I thought she was, and what an irresponsible human being she is. People like your friend disgust me. I am also pro-choice, but I do not believe she has a right ton use it as a form of birth control.

quezzo · March 2011

quezzo:
I would never talk with her again. I don't care ow close you've been all your lives, clearly she has different morals from you to be using abortion as BC. I've lost two babies due to miscarriage and I feel like she could have had them and given them to a family that would have loved them verses terminating them. So many people can't have them and those that can so easily seem to forget what a miracle a child really is.

Sorry, I meant to add in the "so easily" above, not quote myself.

Azrayla · March 2011

soon2Bkranz:
Personally I couldnt continue a friendship with somebody like that.

This..

jntaylor11 · March 2011

That is so unfortunate that she chooses to do that. I am adopted, my birth mother was 16 when she had me and I am so thankful everyday tha she chose life, and gave my mom and dad the gift of being parents because they couldn't have a child of their own... I know a girl who is due a little over a month after I am, but she'd had 4-5 abortions previously and it makes me so mad... I do not think that abortions should be used as a form of birth control and shame on the drs or whoever that allow this to happen... Good luck with your friend she sounds very happy for you...

soon2Bkranz · March 2011

Mrs. Silveira:

Part of me just wanted to slap her and tell her to grow up and tell her that selfish behavior most likely will lead to selfish choices!

She doesn't have the support of anyone and has litterally been on her own trying to make a life for herself and her daughters for 8 years now but I am not sure that I can stand by her for much longer. The hard part is that I love my Goddaughter. its a tough situation.

Yea the god daughter part is what would break my heart. I think I would tell the mom that you cant continue the friendship with her but want to with her daughter and invite your god daughter to your house for overnight etc...

Caitlin224 · March 2011

SailorGray:
soon2Bkranz:
Personally I couldnt continue a friendship with somebody like that.

Me neither. I understand it's their right, but stuff like this really upsets me.

Exactly. I respect her choice (in theory) but NOT how she got herself in those situations.

NativeFloridian · March 2011

I probably wouldn't want to talk to her very often, she sounds like a little bit of a train wreck. And if her behavior is frustrating you enough to cause this vent, I'd say it's not worth you not communicating with her too often.

llcoolay · March 2011

I said this in another post and it is appropriate here as well. In this day in age there is no reason at all not to practice the use of birth control and safe sex. It is very easy to use and to get. She sounds like a real "winner."

Gummybear · March 2011

I am going to be the unpopular one here, and I am actually kind of shocked by my reaction, but I think cutting her out of your life is ruthless. She sounds like she has lots of other issues in her life besides unwanted pregnancies. And if she wasn't choosing to terminate, she would be bringing children into a life of disarray and abuse. And while I think adoption is noble, it's not always attainable and can be very difficult for the birth mother. A lot of my friends make choices I vehemently disagree with but if they are true friends (and it sounds like you have a long history and close relationship with this person) I stick with them through thick and thin.

The thing about being pro-choice - often times people are going to chose to do something you think is wrong. We can't be pro-choice only when we agree with the choice someone is making. From what your friend said when you told her about your pregnancy, she has some remorse and guilt. She sounds like a damaged person -- esp. if she is putting up with an abusive man and not ending things or protecting her other children. I would stick by her and maybe try to help her and your god daughter in other areas. I really feel bad for her.

Mrs. Silveira · March 2011

Thank you all for the feed back. She is a "trainwreck" so to speak and I have been litterally the only constant in her life-her family had totally abandon her. I just wish she would make better choices-especially when it involves human life. To top it off, she never even told the baby daddy that she terminated, she told him that she lost the baby. Clearly she doesnt have a very healthy relationship with him if she had to lie to him.

I think I am just going to distance myself and continue to keep in contact to only check up on my Goddaughter. I think it will be best that way.

MrsGo4Hockeychick · March 2011

Gummybear:
I am going to be the unpopular one here, and I am actually kind of shocked by my reaction, but I think cutting her out of your life is ruthless. She sounds like she has lots of other issues in her life besides unwanted pregnancies. And if she wasn't choosing to terminate, she would be bringing children into a life of disarray and abuse. And while I think adoption is noble, it's not always attainable and can be very difficult for the birth mother. A lot of my friends make choices I vehemently disagree with but if they are true friends (and it sounds like you have a long history and close relationship with this person) I stick with them through thick and thin.
The thing about being pro-choice - often times people are going to chose to do something you think is wrong. We can't be pro-choice only when we agree with the choice someone is making. From what your friend said when you told her about your pregnancy, she has some remorse and guilt. She sounds like a damaged person -- esp. if she is putting up with an abusive man and not ending things or protecting her other children. I would stick by her and maybe try to help her and your god daughter in other areas. I really feel bad for her.

all of this. but most importantly the bolded.

akmommy3 · March 2011

I had a friend a few years back that had a total of 3 abortions, that was what she used as birth control. We are no longer friends, and I do not think it was my beliefs about abortion, but the lack of emotion and not being responsible for her body and actions. IMA I do not think that 3 abortions is ok to do no matter if you are pro-life or pro-choice.

WorkingMomofTwo · March 2011

I couldn't ever chose a man over a baby's life! She should have given it up for adoption instead of murdering the poor thing!

globalwife · March 2011

Wow! I think I am going to be unpopular here too but who are we to judge her friend. Obviously when you first became friends at 5 years old, you were very different than who you ave both became today. I don't think I could just say I'm not talking to a life friend anymore because of some bad choices she made. Obviously the poor girl needs some counseling that she probably can't afford. As a real friend you should offer support for whatever you can but if there are certain topics you don't feel comfortable with around her, let her know that you don't agree. It sounds good that you have encouraged her to get on BC. That is all a friend can do other than take her to Planned Parenthood to make sure she gets it. I really hope you don't defriend her but if you are not comfortable by all means do distant your self from the drama.

JaysonandKristin · March 2011

llcoolay:
I said this in another post and it is appropriate here as well. In this day in age there is no reason at all not to practice the use of birth control and safe sex. It is very easy to use and to get. She sounds like a real "winner."

You know what?!?! I couldn't agree with you more. In this day and age, abortion as BC is just preposterous!! I'm all about a woman's choice at any stage of the game, but I couldn't live like that, nor could I emotionally support a "friend" like that.

soon2Bkranz · March 2011

Gummybear:

I am going to be the unpopular one here, and I am actually kind of shocked by my reaction, but I think cutting her out of your life is ruthless. She sounds like she has lots of other issues in her life besides unwanted pregnancies. And if she wasn't choosing to terminate, she would be bringing children into a life of disarray and abuse. And while I think adoption is noble, it's not always attainable and can be very difficult for the birth mother. A lot of my friends make choices I vehemently disagree with but if they are true friends (and it sounds like you have a long history and close relationship with this person) I stick with them through thick and thin.

The thing about being pro-choice - often times people are going to chose to do something you think is wrong. We can't be pro-choice only when we agree with the choice someone is making. From what your friend said when you told her about your pregnancy, she has some remorse and guilt. She sounds like a damaged person -- esp. if she is putting up with an abusive man and not ending things or protecting her other children. I would stick by her and maybe try to help her and your god daughter in other areas. I really feel bad for her.

I dont see how its not attainable.....And I am disgusted to think abortion is easier than adoption....

Mrs. Silveira · March 2011

globalwife:
Wow! I think I am going to be unpopular here too but who are we to judge her friend. Obviously when you first became friends at 5 years old, you were very different than who you ave both became today. I don't think I could just say I'm not talking to a life friend anymore because of some bad choices she made. Obviously the poor girl needs some counseling that she probably can't afford. As a real friend you should offer support for whatever you can but if there are certain topics you don't feel comfortable with around her, let her know that you don't agree. It sounds good that you have encouraged her to get on BC. That is all a friend can do other than take her to Planned Parenthood to make sure she gets it. I really hope you don't defriend her but if you are not comfortable by all means do distant your self from the drama.

I see your point and maybe it makes me a bad friend for cutting the communication back but when you have someone who you have known for practically your whole life making poor decisions, you have to draw the line. She could have very easily gotten BC...she drives to WIC to get her checks and anything else they give her, planned parenthood is next door. She takes advantage of the state daycare assistance and free health insurance for her kids but she pulls up in her Lexus with her pimped out wheels and sound system. Priorities are what you make them to be and in my opinion hers are a little screwed up! For Christmas she didn't have a dime to her name and couldn't go to work because she didn't have gas yet two weeks later threw my Goddaughter a b-day party at chucky cheese...I mean com'mon. there are those who are irresponsible, less fortunate and need help and then there are those who are irresponsible but not willing to make the sacrifices for change.

kim1989 · March 2011

soon2Bkranz:
Personally I couldnt continue a friendship with somebody like that.

Agreed, I couldn?t stick around someone like that without sharing my opinion

Gummybear · March 2011

soon2Bkranz:
Gummybear:

I am going to be the unpopular one here, and I am actually kind of shocked by my reaction, but I think cutting her out of your life is ruthless. She sounds like she has lots of other issues in her life besides unwanted pregnancies. And if she wasn't choosing to terminate, she would be bringing children into a life of disarray and abuse. And while I think adoption is noble, it's not always attainable and can be very difficult for the birth mother. A lot of my friends make choices I vehemently disagree with but if they are true friends (and it sounds like you have a long history and close relationship with this person) I stick with them through thick and thin.

The thing about being pro-choice - often times people are going to chose to do something you think is wrong. We can't be pro-choice only when we agree with the choice someone is making. From what your friend said when you told her about your pregnancy, she has some remorse and guilt. She sounds like a damaged person -- esp. if she is putting up with an abusive man and not ending things or protecting her other children. I would stick by her and maybe try to help her and your god daughter in other areas. I really feel bad for her.

I dont see how its not attainable.....And I am disgusted to think abortion is easier than adoption....

Some women may not be able to find the resources to put her baby up for adoption. Some women might not be able to continue a pregnancy due to drug addiction, medical conditions or and abusive or unsupportive SO.

I can imagine for some carrying a baby for nine months and then having to give it up would be harder than terminating. Not saying I agree with this, but I respect that a woman might not want to do this. Who am I to judge? I have learned that there are endless situations, ones that I cannot even imagine, that women find themselves in every day. Even though I don't agree with some people's choices I cannot act like I know what it''s like to walk in another's shoes.

dedekins1001 · March 2011

I agree this girl sounds like a toxic mess and so much of me is saying don't abandon her at this low point in her life, but 90% of the girls I knew were just as bad in one way or another. For me it was healthier to cut them out of my life. I feel you are the people you keep around you: friends, significant others, family etc. I feel so bad because the God Daughter is going to suffer,and clearly the mom is suffering. So she is just setting up this child for the same vicious circle. If you feel you need to distance yourself that is probably what is best for you and your growing family. I don't know if you need to tell her that you are going to take a break from her, that may just cause you some unneeded drama; but that is my opinion. Good Luck

globalwife · March 2011

Mrs. Silveira:
globalwife:
Wow! I think I am going to be unpopular here too but who are we to judge her friend. Obviously when you first became friends at 5 years old, you were very different than who you ave both became today. I don't think I could just say I'm not talking to a life friend anymore because of some bad choices she made. Obviously the poor girl needs some counseling that she probably can't afford. As a real friend you should offer support for whatever you can but if there are certain topics you don't feel comfortable with around her, let her know that you don't agree. It sounds good that you have encouraged her to get on BC. That is all a friend can do other than take her to Planned Parenthood to make sure she gets it. I really hope you don't defriend her but if you are not comfortable by all means do distant your self from the drama.

I see your point and maybe it makes me a bad friend for cutting the communication back but when you have someone who you have known for practically your whole life making poor decisions, you have to draw the line. She could have very easily gotten BC...she drives to WIC to get her checks and anything else they give her, planned parenthood is next door. She takes advantage of the state daycare assistance and free health insurance for her kids but she pulls up in her Lexus with her pimped out wheels and sound system. Priorities are what you make them to be and in my opinion hers are a little screwed up! For Christmas she didn't have a dime to her name and couldn't go to work because she didn't have gas yet two weeks later threw my Goddaughter a b-day party at chucky cheese...I mean com'mon. there are those who are irresponsible, less fortunate and need help and then there are those who are irresponsible but not willing to make the sacrifices for change.

I don't think it makes you a bad friend at all to draw the communication back. You know the situation way better than we do. Besides that is your personal choice. I was just shocked by how many people said they just couldn't speak to her ever again based on the abortions. If you want to cut all ties, by all means go for it. That is your choice. But I don't agree that we have the right to judge people to the point that we don't speak to a life long friend based on an abortion that they may or may have not needed. I live in a country where abortions are illegal but I am from the states, and like it or not, our country (USA) allows abortions to happen, so deal with it or start lobbying if you don't like it. You can't just start hating people for their right of choice Now if you want to talk about sleeping with the under 18 year old okay, then you have my attention. I just wish people would be less judgmental and have more understanding. I hope your friend wakes up and realizes the damage she is doing to those around her including her daughter.

MrsGo4Hockeychick · March 2011

CDK1:
soon2Bkranz:
Personally I couldnt continue a friendship with somebody like that.
This.

edit: I read some of the responses above. Adoption is always available if you want it to be. I do think it's selfish to terminate a pregnancy just because it would be easier on the person than giving a baby up. And yes...I do judge.

if adoption was so easy, our foster care system wouldn't be overflowing with children...and yes, many of them ARE infants.

Gummybear · March 2011

CDK1:
soon2Bkranz:
Personally I couldnt continue a friendship with somebody like that.
This.

edit: I read some of the responses above. Adoption is always available if you want it to be. I do think it's selfish to terminate a pregnancy just because it would be easier on the person than giving a baby up. And yes...I do judge.

Since we aren't on P&CE I don't want to draw the attention away from OP and her friend's issues, but I can think of plenty of reasons why a woman would terminate instead of going through nine months of pregnancy only to give a baby up. Would I do it? Can't say. Never been in that position. The world is not black and white. Not every decision fits into a neat little box labeled wrong and right.

But I understand being judgey, I get it, I do. My opinion has grown and changed as I have gotten older and met more people and experienced different things in life (this is NOT a reflection on anybody's age in this post). I myself am pretty judgmental. I see responses like some of the ones above and I judge those people too. I judge people on here all the time. Another great thing about being free to make choices and give opinions.

SailorGray · March 2011

soon2Bkranz:
Gummybear:

I am going to be the unpopular one here, and I am actually kind of shocked by my reaction, but I think cutting her out of your life is ruthless. She sounds like she has lots of other issues in her life besides unwanted pregnancies. And if she wasn't choosing to terminate, she would be bringing children into a life of disarray and abuse. And while I think adoption is noble, it's not always attainable and can be very difficult for the birth mother. A lot of my friends make choices I vehemently disagree with but if they are true friends (and it sounds like you have a long history and close relationship with this person) I stick with them through thick and thin.

The thing about being pro-choice - often times people are going to chose to do something you think is wrong. We can't be pro-choice only when we agree with the choice someone is making. From what your friend said when you told her about your pregnancy, she has some remorse and guilt. She sounds like a damaged person -- esp. if she is putting up with an abusive man and not ending things or protecting her other children. I would stick by her and maybe try to help her and your god daughter in other areas. I really feel bad for her.

I dont see how its not attainable.....And I am disgusted to think abortion is easier than adoption....

I agree. How is killing a baby easier than giving the baby a loving home with a family that so badly wants him/her? FTR, I am pro-life. It disgusts me when people use abortion as BC.

Gummybear · March 2011

SailorGray:
soon2Bkranz:
Gummybear:

I am going to be the unpopular one here, and I am actually kind of shocked by my reaction, but I think cutting her out of your life is ruthless. She sounds like she has lots of other issues in her life besides unwanted pregnancies. And if she wasn't choosing to terminate, she would be bringing children into a life of disarray and abuse. And while I think adoption is noble, it's not always attainable and can be very difficult for the birth mother. A lot of my friends make choices I vehemently disagree with but if they are true friends (and it sounds like you have a long history and close relationship with this person) I stick with them through thick and thin.

The thing about being pro-choice - often times people are going to chose to do something you think is wrong. We can't be pro-choice only when we agree with the choice someone is making. From what your friend said when you told her about your pregnancy, she has some remorse and guilt. She sounds like a damaged person -- esp. if she is putting up with an abusive man and not ending things or protecting her other children. I would stick by her and maybe try to help her and your god daughter in other areas. I really feel bad for her.

I dont see how its not attainable.....And I am disgusted to think abortion is easier than adoption....
I agree. How is killing a baby easier than giving the baby a loving home with a family that so badly wants him/her? FTR, I am pro-life. It disgusts me when people use abortion as BC.

Not disagreeing with you. FOR ME. But who am I to decide or judge on what is easier or better for someone else?

MrsGo4Hockeychick · March 2011

SailorGray:
I agree. How is killing a baby easier than giving the baby a loving home with a family that so badly wants him/her? FTR, I am pro-life. It disgusts me when people use abortion as BC.

there is a LOT of ignorance and/or stupidity about adoption on these boards.

CCinLove · March 2011

I'll just go ahead and be unpopular as well. This girl sounds like a perfect candidate for an abortion. She needs another baby like she needs a hole in the head.

As others have pointed out, pro-choice isn't about whether you like the decision or not.

Adoption is not for everyone. I've known since I was a teenager that I could NEVER carry a baby for 9 months and then give it up. It would have been abortion or raising the child for me. I chose abstinence. Not everyone is selfless...

SailorGray · March 2011

MrsGo4Hockeychick:
SailorGray:
I agree. How is killing a baby easier than giving the baby a loving home with a family that so badly wants him/her? FTR, I am pro-life. It disgusts me when people use abortion as BC.
there is a LOT of ignorance and/or stupidity about adoption on these boards.

Um, are you calling me ignorant or stupid? I really hope not as you know nothing about me. Now THAT would be ignorant....

MrsGo4Hockeychick · March 2011

SailorGray:
MrsGo4Hockeychick:
SailorGray:
I agree. How is killing a baby easier than giving the baby a loving home with a family that so badly wants him/her? FTR, I am pro-life. It disgusts me when people use abortion as BC.
there is a LOT of ignorance and/or stupidity about adoption on these boards.
Um, are you calling me ignorant or stupid? I really hope not as you know nothing about me. Now THAT would be ignorant....

not necessarily. But if you HONESTLY believe any pregnant woman can just go "hey, I want to give this baby up for adoption!" and there will be people lined up to adopt said baby...well, then in that case, yes, it would most definitely apply to you.

rvandiver0705 · March 2011

SailorGray:
MrsGo4Hockeychick:
SailorGray:
I agree. How is killing a baby easier than giving the baby a loving home with a family that so badly wants him/her? FTR, I am pro-life. It disgusts me when people use abortion as BC.
there is a LOT of ignorance and/or stupidity about adoption on these boards.
Um, are you calling me ignorant or stupid? I really hope not as you know nothing about me. Now THAT would be ignorant....

Well, now I am, simply because of your reading comprehension skills.

What Mrs.Go4Hockey meant was that adoption is not some magical deus ex machina that allows a woman to get rid of a baby in a way that is better for the baby.

I am adopted, and my birth mother made the decision to give me up for adoption very early on in her pregnancy. The agency she worked with paid for all of her top of the line medical and prenatal expenses, including a private room in one of the best hospitals in the city. My parents paid that bill once I was adopted. Why me? Because my birth mother had never done drugs, smoked, had a clean bill of health, and had no family history of cancer or heart disease. I was also perfectly healthy, which was insured by my birth mother's doctors before my parents were alerted to my existence.

Perfect babies with smart birth mothers get into loving, supportive homes (usually). Many infants who have medical issues, had birth mothers who suffer from addictions, or even whose birth mothers decided late in their pregnancies/after the birth end up in foster care, and once in the system are less likely to be adopted into the sort of family that my parents created.

Gummybear · March 2011

rvandiver0705:
SailorGray:
MrsGo4Hockeychick:
SailorGray:
I agree. How is killing a baby easier than giving the baby a loving home with a family that so badly wants him/her? FTR, I am pro-life. It disgusts me when people use abortion as BC.
there is a LOT of ignorance and/or stupidity about adoption on these boards.
Um, are you calling me ignorant or stupid? I really hope not as you know nothing about me. Now THAT would be ignorant....
Well, now I am, simply because of your reading comprehension skills.
What Mrs.Go4Hockey meant was that adoption is not some magical deus ex machina that allows a woman to get rid of a baby in a way that is better for the baby.
I am adopted, and my birth mother made the decision to give me up for adoption very early on in her pregnancy. The agency she worked with paid for all of her top of the line medical and prenatal expenses, including a private room in one of the best hospitals in the city. My parents paid that bill once I was adopted. Why me? Because my birth mother had never done drugs, smoked, had a clean bill of health, and had no family history of cancer or heart disease. I was also perfectly healthy, which was insured by my birth mother's doctors before my parents were alerted to my existence.
Perfect babies with smart birth mothers get into loving, supportive homes (usually). Many infants who have medical issues, had birth mothers who suffer from addictions, or even whose birth mothers decided late in their pregnancies/after the birth end up in foster care, and once in the system are less likely to be adopted into the sort of family that my parents created.

Yes Don't forget, it helps to be white too.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for adoption. My siggie explains my loss history, but what is missing is the 5 IVFs and 1 FET we endured as well. Before this pregnancy, we were exploring and set to begin the adoption process, so of course, I wish every pregnant mom put her baby up for deserving families. But the truth is, it's not as easy or as rosy as it appears. For birth mom or adoptive parents. To say, "Just put the baby up for adoption" to a conflicted pregnant woman is as ignorant as saying, "Why don't you just adopt?" to a couple that is struggling to conceive. There is A LOT more to it. And I think the world of birth moms and adoptive parents that choose that route, because it is not easy at all.

StefaniePace · March 2011

soon2Bkranz:
Personally I couldnt continue a friendship with somebody like that.

AGREE

Marettie · March 2011

I can see why you're upset about your friend and her choices. It hurts when you care about someone who acts so recklessly. Whatever anyones view is on abortion, I don't think it takes away from the fact that we have all had people in our lives that have let us down and we have had to make a choice to set them free or not. My advice would be to let her try and figure out her life for awhile, while you enjoy yours and the wonderful things that are happening for you. Who knows, maybe in a few years she will have gotten her stuff together and this will all be something of the past.

shortie2008 · March 2011

Maybe I notice odd things, but you mentioned abuse and the fact that she said "Lucky you" when you told her you were having a girl. If her boyfriend is abusing her, is it possible he kinda forced her into it? I don't know from the post whether it's emotional, mental, physical, sexual, etc, but either way, her mind is NOT in the right place. Makes me wonder if she wanted to get the abortion or he made her. Abuse often starts with emotional and mental abuse, so even if it hasn't escalated to physical, it can. The abusers tend to tear apart their victim's self-esteem and sense of worth. It's a LOT of control he'd have over her. Just saying.

Either way, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with my god-daughter living in a situation like that. Or a friend of mine.

workingurl21 · March 2011

I have one of these! I'm god mother to her oldest she didn't even know who the baby's daddy was for her. She has a second baby's daddy too and neither are around. I am also pro choice but when she said to me in front of her children she was pregnant with a 3rd and she didn't want it she didn't even want the ones she had. I was floored. She also said she got the abortion pill but couldn't do it about a week later she told me she had a miscarriage. to this day I don't believe it. I have distanced myself from her as I can't handle her drama. I try not to judge her but it is hard since her lifestyle is so different then mine. Because of my god daughter I can't cut her out though. So I completely understand. Good luck. I think a little distance for a while is warrented

Kath1424 · March 2011

jntaylor11:
That is so unfortunate that she chooses to do that. I am adopted, my birth mother was 16 when she had me and I am so thankful everyday tha she chose life, and gave my mom and dad the gift of being parents because they couldn't have a child of their own... .

This exactly!! I was adopted too. My birthmom was like 15 when she got preg and she made her own decision to carry me to full term and give me up for adoption, her parents had no say in her decision...at 15 she made that decision and my current parents couldn't have any children so look at the opportunity she provided to them!!!!

I agree with pp's do not associate with her anymore! and if she asks tell her why!

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Re: Vent...(Warning...sensitive subject) LONG!

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