For those who know about my DD (NTTGPR)

Amomtomanyluvs · March 2011

To those ladies in chat who I told about my daughter...I had the conference with her teacher, counselor and principle yesterday.

It went well for the most part. She is super smart...advanced math, beyond advanced reading (I think it was at a 6th grade level, she is in 3rd grade).

But all the bullying, some might be true...but most is not. I held in my tears until later. My daughter is acting out, because she is crying for help. These "bullies" started, as well as her "stomach aches" and frequent trips to the nurse right at the beginning of February. What happened then you ask, that could have prompted this? My ex husband decided after 5 months of not seeing the kids, calling the kids anything..he all of a sudden appeared. It has sent her in a whirlwind of emotions. And has done a huge number on her well being. These fathers (and I use that word loosely), do not understand the effects that coming in and out of their kids lives have on these children.

I am sick to my stomach over this, we took her out to dinner last night to her favorite place, so we could talk to her about all this. Basically what is going to be done is her teacher will spend a few minutes alone with her every morning to show her she is special and wanted. Once a week, she and I will go out alone for a mother/daughter time (thank goodness for my DH).

Her counselor is calling me today to find a therapist for her to go talk to. And I will look in the papers and online for special classes for her to take to meet other people, who aren't in her class.

Hopefully all this will help. Her sperm donor is coming today for his visit (I say sperm donor because if only you knew how often he does not care or show up for his visit...like last week...because he does not know how to pick up a phone to say sorry I can't come). and will pull him aside and tell him exactly what is going on....he needs to know what he is doing to these children, MY children.

So that is the update, and what is going on...and now I want to go puke. (maybe on my ex)...ugh

Pocky873 · March 2011

Becca, I'm so sorry you and your DD are going through this. It sounds like the school is doing a very good job of giving her the attention she needs and deserves. The mother-daughter time will be a great time for the two of your to talk, have fun, and bond. Shame on your "sperm donor" for not having more of a role in your DD's life and for just showing up whenever he feels like it. I hope you're able to knock some sense into his head! **hugs**

psychgirl33 · March 2011

Aw, Becca, I'm sorry! That stinks! I didn't hear the back story, but I'm glad that you along with the school have come up with a plan to help her through her emotional rough patch. I hope that it helps her! Check-ins like you described can be VERY beneficial for kids who are experiencing emotional instability.

I'm glad you are going to say something to the sperm donor. I hope that he really listens to you and takes time to see how his actions are affecting his kids! ((hugs))

moosegal · March 2011

Becca, so sorry to hear that your daughter is having to go through this. I have always thought you sound so strong and level-headed, and I know you are being a great role model to your daughter. Good luck with everything -- I hope things improve soon!

picklesx · March 2011

I'm very sorry that your daughter is going through such a rough time. I think that you and her teacher have a great plan of action in place. Your ex sounds like a douche, it blows my mind how some parents think that they can just come in and out of their childrens' lives as they please and don't have the slightest clue of the toll it may take on their childrens' emotional state. Your kids are fortunate to have a loving mother. I hope things turn around for your daughter quickly. GL

funcop · March 2011

Oh, Becca I am so sorry. That is horrible. Although kids are resilient, but to a point. I am sorry your ex is such a DB and you are working so hard to get the help your DD needs. I agree, you should tell DB ex what his actions are doing to her and make sure to document everything (which I am sure you are doing). Good job, Momma.

Lexie Marie · March 2011

So sorry to hear that...what a dirtbag he sounds like. I hope the therapist stuff works, and it is good ot see her school being so attentive! Best of wishes to you in this crumpy situation!

Amomtomanyluvs · March 2011

funcop:
Oh, Becca I am so sorry. That is horrible. Although kids are resilient, but to a point. I am sorry your ex is such a DB and you are working so hard to get the help your DD needs. I agree, you should tell DB ex what his actions are doing to her and make sure to document everything (which I am sure you are doing). Good job, Momma.

Thank you Is it bad that I have an entire notebook devoted to this man? Is it even worse that I call it the Loser Log?

Amomtomanyluvs · March 2011

moosegal:
Becca, so sorry to hear that your daughter is having to go through this. I have always thought you sound so strong and level-headed, and I know you are being a great role model to your daughter. Good luck with everything -- I hope things improve soon!

Thank you for your kind words...you brought tears to my eyes (good ones!). I appreciate it!

Stakerz21 · March 2011

Becca, So sorry to hear that your DD is having a hard time. It is so sad to see what kids have to go through on a day to day basis. However, I wanted to compliment you on how involved and on top of things you are. I am a teacher and I wish some of my students parents would implement some of the strategies you are using. She is a very lucky girl to have a mother like you!

Amomtomanyluvs · March 2011

picklesx:
I'm very sorry that your daughter is going through such a rough time. I think that you and her teacher have a great plan of action in place. Your ex sounds like a douche, it blows my mind how some parents think that they can just come in and out of their childrens' lives as they please and don't have the slightest clue of the toll it may take on their childrens' emotional state. Your kids are fortunate to have a loving mother. I hope things turn around for your daughter quickly. GL

When we first got divorced, I never thought he would be this man...he fought for custody so he could have rights to see them. But then he just gave up. I ended up back in court to fight for custody again. He stopped fighting, so it was not hard.

Thank you for your kind words!

Amomtomanyluvs · March 2011

Stakerz21:
Becca, So sorry to hear that your DD is having a hard time. It is so sad to see what kids have to go through on a day to day basis. However, I wanted to compliment you on how involved and on top of things you are. I am a teacher and I wish some of my students parents would implement some of the strategies you are using. She is a very lucky girl to have a mother like you!

Thank you for what you said I love my kids so much and I would do anything to change what life has handed them. When my Ex walked out on me...I was not sad for me...I was sad for my kids. I tried to never feel sorry for me, because my focus had to be my kids...and it sucks that even 3 years later...this is still going on. I hate it....and I wished I had picked a better father for them.

I did the second time around though!!

Amomtomanyluvs · March 2011

Thank you all for everything you have said!!! I appreciate the love and support Sometimes mommies need it to. lol.

I just got off the phone with her counselor. They have a program, that is accepted by my insurance, where a therapist will come to the school during school hours and sit with the kids then. Which is great when you have like 4 kids to drag around town for the appointment. They will also then speak to the counselor and better help the kids at school. Then once a month, they come to my house and sit down with me and discuss the progress with the child. They also call you on the phone once a month...so thats twice a month we will be talking together. I like the idea of it being at school since this is where her issues seem to come out.

I also decided that my DS should also see a therapist because I notice he acts out at home thanks to my ex (he acts out after he leaves, and for a few days later). So I figure he could benefit too.

I am thankful for the school, and I feel blessed that they will be getting the help they need.

My other DD was only 2 months old when my ex walked out on me....although she probably does not need therapy now, she might later on as well.

And so will my DS (step) because his mom is no better. My children suffer unnecessarily and it makes me so mad.

Ladybug720 · March 2011

Becca I totally missed this conversation in chat. I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you have a great plan. If only sperm donors realized the effects of their actions on children.

I hope that this all works out in your favor. Plan your work and work your plan girl!

brookelynpaisley · March 2011

I'm so sorry you and your DD are going through this. I commend you for being so proactive to get to the bottom of what is going on and doing all you can to rectify it.

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