This is about to split up my family.
Long story short, I live at my mother in laws with my daughter and husband. His mom lives here too along with his younger brother and sister. We live in the livingroom were we get 0 privacy. The main issue isn't privacy, it's his @$^& sister, she is 16 and thinks she knows everything, talks to me like I'm a moron and I can't say anything back because this is my Mother In Laws house. She also tells her mom that all I do all day is sit around and play on the computer (only true when my little one is sleeping) and that she does all the chores in the house when in reality all she does is REstart the dishwasher after it JUST stopped, or takes out the dog maybe twice a day. And I can't say anything because this is my mother in laws house. I can't stand being in the same room as her because she ignores me like I'm not there which would be ok if she didn't take my daughter away from me when I'm playing with her, or she wakes my daughter up with her big @$$ mouth talking to nobody right next to the babies bed. I've told her not to take my child from me like that and she went whining to her mom saying a bunch of ***, and if I tell her to not talk to loud around the baby she raises her voice even more and tells me to shut my mouth and I can't tell her what to do. She doesn't act this way around her mom just with me. I've had my husband talk to her and their mom since I can't say anything and the problem only gets "fixed" for about a day if that. This is getting to the point I'm about to leave my husband because I can't stand that #$%^! and we can't afford to get our own place. His sister also goes off and tells me that I CAN'T take my daughter to see my mom because she lives in a different state, and that I CAN'T invite my husband and Is friends to our daughters first birthday party or OUR wedding ceremony because she doesn't like them.
She also does "little" things that really gets under my skin, like my daughter clearly just said MAMA and she'll go off and say "you want your NANA?" or my LO clearly said DADA and she'll go off and say "you want your Uncle David?"
I don't know what to do, I don't want to leave my husband but I'm not going to stay here any longer.
Re: This is about to split up my family.
I just. I. I really don't know what to say.
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Is there are reason you (and your H & LO) can't move out?
ETA - didn't see where you mentioned you can't afford it. What about a cheaper area? A second job? I would do ANYTHING to not have to live with my ILs.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
This. weird.
This exactly.
2 words: nanny cam.
Get one. Every little kid needs a teddy bear, right? And then when she pulls that crap, you have her on tape and can show your husband or whomever else.
Well...hmm...that's interesting advice.
I have nothing. This is so strange (both the OP and this response).
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I agree. Then you guys can go on Springer and throw chairs at each other. Oh wait, I think they bolt them down now
Grow up. Get a job. Get your own place.
You need to stand up for yourself. I don't give a sh*t if it's her house, it's YOUR baby!
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
So, I'm still confused. You were going to leave to go to your moms, without your husband, but didn't b/c MIL said no?
If you don't want to be with your husband, then don't. There you go.
I hate to tell you, but legit at home jobs dont exist. Why cant you take a bus to a job? Have your SO drive you on his way to work? Anything besides sitting around at your ILs and not being able to move.
If you're going nowhere in life living there, then you need to move.
Holy crap - is this you and the dad?!
YGPM
Is this MUD? I mean...16 posts, 3 of them have been a little non-sensical. I'm just sayin'.
If not, then buy yourself a clue. Living in a living room at MIL's gives you only rights to yourself and your baby. So, better to politely exert them and move out ASAP than to complain about a measly 16 yr old on the bump.
I bet eleventy billion dollars 20 or under.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
i pmed you with some ideas. you can get your pms by scrolling down on the side where you find the boards at the bottom almost, you will see MY BOARDS and under that it says check private messages.
She can't take your baby from you.
And no one can help you because you don't seem willing to help yourself. Every sentence is "I can't..."
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
This. Stop making excuses and remove yourself from this situation.
This. Well said. I could not agree more!
Are you receiving any government assistance for you and your child? If not, look into getting any kind of assistance you can to help you and your husband move out of your MIL's house. Also, don't let your MIL or SIL dictate how you care for your baby. They have no rights to keep you from your child or from raising your child no matter how much they may threaten you about taking your child away.
Grow a Pair, may seem harsh, but you need to start standing up for yourself and your child. Stop thinking of yourself as a helpless pathetic creature and search for help and options for help in the community. You owe this to yourself and your baby. You can't sit back and wait for help to be delivered.
Good Luck.
Medicaid will pay for you to get corrective lenses.
If she is taking your baby away from you while you are in the same room that is an issue. You need to tell her no and take your child back. You can't say you are an adult and trying to be a mother and not tell a 16 year old to give you back your damn baby.
You need to go to your mom's at the very least. You should apply for state aid and then get on your own feet and take care of your child. The situation you are in now is not healthy for a child to grow up in and that should take precedent over whether you and your husband are living together.
If you are already married, why is she dictating who is invited to your ceremony, didn't it already happen?
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
Wow. I can really identify with your story - except for the annoying SIL thing. We lived with my ILs right after my DD was born. We lost our jobs and had to move back. Boy, it sucked! And it was really hard, I'll tell you that much! What you need to do is to find ways to get out of the house. If you have a stroller, you can walk down the street, spend the mornings at a coffee shop, whatever needs to be done. Have your friend come and pick you up to spend a few days a week at her place. Get involved with church and get out to help them every once in a while. I went on a LOT of walks when my DD was little. (We moved in when she was 7 months old and stayed for over a year before returning to school.) Have you considered attending university classes? Most public universities have child care and you can get out of the house a few days a week and help to get your family on their feet. Look into childcare jobs where you can bring your LO to work with you. Look into jobs that have childcare facilities within them. I know what it's like. You don't have a lot of choices and you want to depend on them as little as possible.
Hang in there. Time will pass. Hold your breath. If at all possible, go and spend a few weeks with your mom. You honestly don't have to listen to this teenage little girl and stay!
Make a list of ways to get away each day and exercise them. I hope it works out for you. Splitting with your DH is not the answer.
ETA: Sometimes state services will pay for childcare if your income is below whatever limit they set.
Married since 06/19/2004|Anna born 11/19/2006|Charles born 11/1/11
Double undergrad graduation May 2011| Me: Psychology, DH: Communication| A long journey!
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I know you're venting, and I don't believe this is made-up drama.
OK, breathe.
First, other ways to save money: can you be on WIC or Link or whatever as a way to save money from groceries toward your payment, as it sounds like $ is an issue for you? What about a studio / 1BR apartment which (depending on your area) may have a low-ish rent?
Second, some ways to make $: surveys. I don't get rich doing it, but I do get some spending cash. I do or have done them with Opinion Outpost, Synovate, Ipsos I Say, My Survey, and Pinecone. All are for points (except Pinecone which does 3$ per survey) that you can cash in for 10, 20, etc. $ checks / Paypals. I have also done product testing for these things, so I've gotten shampoo, butter, room fresheners, and a bunch of other cool stuff. Here are a couple links. Google the rest of them. You won't get rich, but you can stash some more cash.
https://pinecone.logicalmedia.com/?affid=CD4944
https://www.globalopinionpanels.com/landing?sourceid=1135&lang=en_US&cid=137
https://www.campusfundraiser.com/grouphome/wsregistration.asp?e=115801&es=1273811&m=371091&ms=4082001&r=371091&rs=4082001
I do recommend telling the teenage sister (if she's a teenager) to *** off. I have no diplomatic solutions for that one. I would openly tell her it's your child and her own flesh and blood niece and to shut the everlovingfuck right *** up. Use your cell phone to record an argument, maybe? Also assure whichever member(s) of the family have said they will take your child that that is simply an absurd threat. Unless you're a heavy drug user and a child beater-- and probably even if you are, lol-- no court is going to make that happen.
My advice regarding your boyfriend (husband?) is to stay on the same side. He wants out too. It doesn't sound like he's being a big lazyass or anything, so I'm sure he wants out, too, and is therefore on your side. He may need to man up when it comes to the sister, but just always stay on the same side.
Good luck to you.