vent (long)
i am so, SO annoyed with my mom right now. my whole life it seems she's always been keeping tabs on my weight. i was overweight as a child, but lost the extra pounds in high school/college. i was in the best shape of my life the first time i got pregnant (up to 10 mile runs, training for a mini). but i slowly put on lots of weight during my first pregnancy and never lost it all afterwards.
i wasn't happy with my weight when i got pregnant this time, but realize there's nothing i can really do about it other than eat healthy and try my best to live a healthy lifestyle while i'm pregnant.
back to my mom.
i can feel her eyes burning holes in me whenever i see her these days. i know she is sizing me up, trying to gauge how much weight i've gained so far or how big i'm getting. before my first doctor apt she even told me "she hoped i wasn't having twins." her reason for saying that? she thought i was already showing too much. so i did bring up my weight/size to my doctor at my first apt, and she told me she wasn't concerned at all. her exact words were not to worry, i have the next 70 years to worry about losing weight.
today when i was talking to my mom on the phone, she asked what we had for lunch. i told her and i also told her DD was being picky and refusing to eat the pasta. so the only thing she had for lunch was broccoli. my mom's response: "well it looks like she's been eating something."
oh my gosh. i cannot even tell you how mad it makes me. that she is now not only sizing me up, but also my 2 year old daughter. who yes, is big for her age, but her doctor has never onced voiced a concern about and has always told me she is growing fine. following the right growth pattern/curve.
i normally talk to my mom everyday on the phone and see her once a week. but at this rate i have no idea how i'm going to maintain that relationship. it makes me want to stay away from her for a very long time.
**i'm sorry if you actually made it through this whole post. there's pretty much no real point to it, other than i just needed to get it all off my chest!**
Re: vent (long)
Oh no...it's one thing for your mom to be on your back about weight, but when she's starting in on your pumpkin, that's an entirely different ballgame. I'm sure it makes you fly into Momma Bear mode, as it would me!
Since I know your mom, I'll offer my third person opinion. I think she's projecting her fears about her own weight issues onto you, and now A, and is probably doing it more out of concern because she doesn't want you to have to fight it like she always has. In reality, it draws more attention to the issue and makes you self-conscious about it.
Do you think that talking with her about her comments would do any good? There's still time to cut it out before A hears those weight comments from her and understands what they mean. I am never able to tell my mom how I really feel about the things she does that hurt my feelings, so I know it's easier said than done.
I'm really sorry that she did that. Not cool, N!!
Ughh... That stinks that she is being like that. I know it is hard, but I would say stay away (especially keep your DD away) until she can not say things like that.
MIL is very opinionated on what a daughter "should" be and "should" do and "should" wear. She has an awful relationship with SIL because of this. I told DH that if she ever started acting like that with M then it would be a long time before she saw her again.