- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Natural Birth
WWYD if this was your Midwife (Warning: Sad Link Inside)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WWYD if this was your Midwife (Warning: Sad Link Inside)
Thanks everyone, for your opinions. We have decided to look for another option. As Iris said above, I will not be able to trust her now regardless of her side of the story. Even if she said none of this ever happened and she has never met this woman, how am I to know if that is the truth? I will be completely honest with her about our reasons for switching and let her know that this story is out there.
To PP who asked the name of the midwife and birth center: Since I do not know the truthfulness behind this story, I don't want to put that info out there. The information is easily accessible for other people doing their research to find just the same as I did.
Off to look for a new provider. Ugh!
I'm sorry =(
Since you're in Texas, is there any chance you're in the DFW area? I loved the MWs at Birth and Women's Center in Dallas- LOVED them! And for what it's worth, I loved their back-up OB as well.
I think she's in Houston.
But FYI, there is a LOT of dirt on that birth center as well. Nothing to the level of the stuff described in this post... but when I said that I came across some MW's who I would never ever ever consider delivering with due to too many red flags, the BWC MW's were among them...
I love out of hospital birth, but you really do have to be careful.
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)
Ugh it's scary how you can never be sure.
And I think that's true of hospitals and doctors too.
The midwife was foolish. This mother was a high risk case and never should have been accepted as a client!!!
As much as I hate the idea of delivering in a hospital (I have birthed at a maternity center, will do so again in a little over 1 1/2 months and next pregnancy plan on going with a home birth) I would never have considered delivering anywhere except a hospital if I had this mother's history. No birth experience is worth risking mother and baby. I'm not blaming them...but I'm surprised the husband and family didn't over ride the midwife and take her to the hospital when they were having trouble with the stitches...or when they noticed the breathing problems with the baby...I guess it is my personality, I don't give a crap what medical professionals say when they dismiss a worry of mine like the midwife did, I would have immediately taken baby to the hospital. But we have also been raised to see doctors and in some circles mid-wives as these all knowing entities which they are not.
I'm glad my midwives aren't shy about sending you to the hospital when it is needed, they support you in your desire for a non hospital birth for as long as it is safe...but this lady would have been barred from their doors immediately. My friend couldn't even get a second VBAC after an extremely successful first VBAC. They are very cautious about who they take on.
wow... I know you stated you don't want to... but, can you pm me who you are seeing (as a doula in the Houston area I would like to be aware of this midwifes background).. I am having a hard time finding any such story about this... even https://www.dshs.state.tx.us/midwife/default.shtm doesn't have any list of such an infraction... and it would definitely be cited here, you would think..
Ok.. her bad practices aside, even with it being one-sided, I have to say, SIMPLY because you are now wary, you should probably find a new midwife. Any fear, angst, or question that you still have at the time of your labor can negatively impact your labor. Even if she was/is not at fault, your emotional state has to be considered... that is JMHO.
There is no freaking way I would birth with that woman.
I agree with pp that tragic things can happen to mothers and babies regardless of the setting, but that woman is incompetent.
I think, however, this can serve as a timely reminder to trust your instinct. If you want an ambulance, then call one. Screw what the midwife says. If you want to go to the hospital because of the pain, or your baby is distress then go to the hospital. If you want someone to stop cutting up your cervix then kick them in the face and get yourself to a hospital. Hell, I think I'd call for an ambulance and tell them a mad woman was attacking me with a pair of scissors.
I know it can be hard to confront medical professionals especially when you're as vulnerable situation as childbirth, and that's why you need someone in the room who will speak up for you. Whether it's your husband, your mother, or a doula. You need someone who will stand up for you both when things feel wrong.
best of luck with your decision.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old