Vent, NBR

crystal959 · March 2011

This is my DHs first year teaching. He's a 7th grade science teacher. He hates the principal there and wants to find a new job. From what I've heard 99.9% of people don't like their first teaching jobs. Also, this principal MIGHT NOT even be here next year. We just moved here this fall and were barely financially ready to move at the time. Now we make the bills every month but don't have much left over. He wants to find a job for the next school year and is looking 4-6 hours away from where we are now. School would start mid/late August which means I'd be packing/moving while taking care of an almost 4 year old and a newborn. We have no family down here and won't have any help with the moving process like we did coming down here.

I've expressed to him that I'm already struggling with depression (I have my whole life) and my doctor said it may have started again because of the transition of moving here. I had the baby blues with DD and I fear moving right after giving birth will progress normal baby blues into full blown PPD.

I don't mind him finding a new job, I obviously want him to be happy, but I don't understand the need to move so far away again. I feel like telling him if he can't find a school in commuting distance he needs to suck it up and deal with it, because having a job and health insurance is what is most important right now.

jenmarshall88 · March 2011

I'm sorry that's tough. Just put your foot down and tell him for the reasons you listed that he is going to have to toughen it out at least for a year and see how it goes, then once that school year gets to the end you two can discuss it more and you won't have just had a baby having to move. If you give him time, he may grow to like it. So tell him he has to wait it out and a year is what you're asking then you two can reassess it. That's how I would handle it at least.

actres · March 2011

I see you are in jacksonville and he is thinking 4-6 away would you be satying in NC? I am in the Greensboro area. I hope that you both will be able to decide on something together that will work well for you both.

catahoulatte · March 2011

Why is he looking so far? All other issues aside, moving in August or September would be absolutely awful.

I think you are being reasonable for considering it. I also agree with your "suck it up and do what's best for your family" attitude, because that's what he's got to realize. Does he usually discuss where he would interview with you before he does it? I think now would be the time to tell him to tough it out and find one in the area, for all the reasons you have listed. Moving is so stressful, and the added stress on you at that particular time is just not fair.

My H hates his job too, but he knows that he won't be there forever. Maybe emphasize this?

crystal959 · March 2011

I have told him that I understand his frustrations and I'm not asking him to work there forever but just try for one more year. He claims there is nothing else in the area and the only things he can find are in the Raleigh-Durham or Winston-Salem area.

He always runs it past me where he's looking but it seems more like he's just telling me to hear himself talk then hear my opinion on it.

We've finally found a few friends here, and I told him I don't want to move again and be alone and isolated with a newborn and a 4 year old. I told him if he has to move us again that far I'd rather him just look at home in Chicago. I love the climate here and the slower southern feel but it isn't worth the loneliness I feel everyday. I want my daughter to see me happy again.

catahoulatte · March 2011

cadegani:

I have told him that I understand his frustrations and I'm not asking him to work there forever but just try for one more year. He claims there is nothing else in the area and the only things he can find are in the Raleigh-Durham or Winston-Salem area.

He always runs it past me where he's looking but it seems more like he's just telling me to hear himself talk then hear my opinion on it.

We've finally found a few friends here, and I told him I don't want to move again and be alone and isolated with a newborn and a 4 year old. I told him if he has to move us again that far I'd rather him just look at home in Chicago. I love the climate here and the slower southern feel but it isn't worth the loneliness I feel everyday. I want my daughter to see me happy again.

Sad I feel for you. I wish I could say more to help, but I do understand the feelings of starting over and isolation when you move. I hope that you guys come to a compromise that won't mess with your emotional well-being.

Matt Dvorak · March 2011

I remember my sister during her first year of teaching kg - lots and lots of tears! I believe that she also didn't like her principal, but at some point the principal did change. Things are better for her now (despite a few terror kids!) and I think she's glad she stuck it out.

MrsCase1 · March 2011

cadegani:
I don't mind him finding a new job, I obviously want him to be happy, but I don't understand the need to move so far away again. I feel like telling him if he can't find a school in commuting distance he needs to suck it up and deal with it, because having a job and health insurance is what is most important right now.

THIS. you're well within your rights to lay downt he law at this point. happiness IS important but stability is MORE important!

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