How to tell mother

msjcordova · March 2011

To make a long story short my mother is controlling and thinks that her ideas are always best and always the right choice. She stresses me out and for this reason I have decided that it would not be in either her or my best interest to have her in the delivery room when LO is born.

I feel bad because this is her first grandchild and I know how excited she is. How do I go about telling her that she will not be allowed in during labor? I by no means want to hurt her feelings.

Any advice?

Yellow_Daisy · March 2011

I just broke the news to my mom and I told her that DH and I just wanted it to be us and I wasn't comfortable with anyone else being there. She is still trying to talk me into it, but ultimately I am just not comfortable with having an audition so I am going to stick to my guns of no one but DH being there.

I would just say you want it to just be you and whoever and that is all you are comfortable with. If you think it is going to be a big problem you could just not call anyone until LO has arrived.

Good Luck!

Jessie*J · March 2011

My mom is also controlling and we argue over everything! She was there for my DD's birth and really surprised me as she respected what I wanted and was just there to get me a cold washcloth, get the nurses, etc. That way DH could totally focus on me (although he didn't have a clue what to do with our first lol).

This time our DD will be almost 6 when LO comes and my mom will mainly be watching her (at the hospital) but she did ask if she could be there. I told her it was fine but DH now knows what to do and it wouldn't matter. I think her feelings were a bit hurt but I know my DD will keep her on her toes.

In the end - it's your choice. Just tell her that you and DH really want this moment to yourselves and she can be waiting right around the corner when LO arrives.

jej05 · March 2011

Yellow_Daisy:

I just broke the news to my mom and I told her that DH and I just wanted it to be us and I wasn't comfortable with anyone else being there. She is still trying to talk me into it, but ultimately I am just not comfortable with having an audition so I am going to stick to my guns of no one but DH being there.

I would just say you want it to just be you and whoever and that is all you are comfortable with. If you think it is going to be a big problem you could just not call anyone until LO has arrived.

Good Luck!

This.

If we make it that far this has always been the plan. Me, DH, the nurses and doctors and *possibly* a doula. I'm not interested in any one else being in the room with us. I think it is a very personal moment and would like to be able to share that with DH and DH only.

Mrs. Mo · March 2011

jej05:
Yellow_Daisy:

I just broke the news to my mom and I told her that DH and I just wanted it to be us and I wasn't comfortable with anyone else being there. She is still trying to talk me into it, but ultimately I am just not comfortable with having an audition so I am going to stick to my guns of no one but DH being there.

I would just say you want it to just be you and whoever and that is all you are comfortable with. If you think it is going to be a big problem you could just not call anyone until LO has arrived.

Good Luck!

This.

If we make it that far this has always been the plan. Me, DH, the nurses and doctors and *possibly* a doula. I'm not interested in any one else being in the room with us. I think it is a very personal moment and would like to be able to share that with DH and DH only.

Ditto YD & definitely this.

FabulousMrs.P · March 2011

I would just tell her that this is a really special time for you and your partner and that you want it to be just the two of you in the room. If you are okay with it, tell her that you will call her as soon as the baby is born and that she can join you then.

jcath · March 2011

If you want to take the coward's route out (which is my preferred method) you can say the Dr and/or hospital only allows one person during the delivery and obviously that has to be DH.

DeputiesWife · March 2011

I told my mom and MIL that the delivery was for DH and I only.
Granted both are 8 hours away and didnt make it anyhow. But DH and I decided that it was to be just the 2 of us. Hopefully she will understand. Both my mom and MIL werent hurt at all.

JenCW · March 2011

For us, the delivery room is for me and DH only. That is a precious time for the two of us together. I never understood why people thought it was a time for a large gathering of onlookers, though we also have family members that think they should be there (mainly my hubby's mom).

Anyway, we just simply told everyone that we're going to keep it to just us. If you go that route then hopefully no one will have hurt feelings. If you let some people in and not your mom, then you may have a problem.

ColleenS629 · March 2011

We're still so early that our parents don't know but I can't imagine my mom asking me to be in the room for that. I definitely only want DH there with me.

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