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Getting Over the Pain of Infidelity

Oilers_MamaOilers_Mama member
in Single Parents

I know it's only been a couple of weeks since XH and I separated but Im still sick over everything that happened. I have proof that he was looking to cheat, I dont know if he did but it hurts all the same.

And I hate to say this because my kids are whats pulling me through all of this, but I wish I could get a break from them for a while so I could focus on just healing me. They keep me very busy during the day, but at night when everythings quiet and I start to clean up and get ready for the next day I break down.

I know it wasnt my fault but I still hold so much anger, sadness and resentment. What are some coping techniques you guys use to help you through the hard days?

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Re: Getting Over the Pain of Infidelity

  • SoulfulWhim5862SoulfulWhim5862

    I'm still coping.  My exhusband left in June and we have been divorced for almost 2 months.  I still have my ups and downs.  Just take it a day at a time.  Also, I reccomend the site survivinginfidelity.com.  Lots of people there to help as well. 

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  • litleazkowgirllitleazkowgirl
    I am so sorry to hear about what has happened in your relationship. My XH cheated on me. We have been divorced for five years this year. I took it very hard and had to find my peace as well. I know you will figure it out. Some of the things I did to cope included writing, reading, coloring, and new projects. I bought a large journal at Barnes & Noble an just write. I write my thoughts, feelings, fears, good and bad to express what I am thinking about. I started reading more as a small escape in a way from what I was dealing with. Coloring I know sounds silly but I bought a new box of crayons and book from my childhood and started  coloring. It was like a great release to just color. New projects is stuff that I wanted to try  or do as well as old and new hobbies. I found it healing to focus on a project and continue forward. I also found myself really focusing on the positive. I put key quotes in different places including the bathroom mirror, the fridge, the car. I hope this helps a little.
    "You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because your reality is finally better than your dreams." ~ Dr. Seuss
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  • katie_cjkatie_cj member

    I found out about the infidelity in July, we split pretty much immediately. It still hurts. Sometimes I get flashes of memories when I know he was lying to me and probably out with other girls. They hurt.

    I also just recently found out he cheated on me prior to conceiving Jake. And I'm still dealing with those feelings.

     

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  • dimakedimake

    Counseling and shopping.  Lots and lots of shopping.  (I was pregnant when XH left, so I couldn't drink or slore around.  Shopping was my only vice.)

     

    I did a lot of reading as well.

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  • achase123achase123

    All I can say is it's a process.  I go to counseling periodically and it helps so much.  I also like the advice of trying to do something for yourself each day, even if it's something small.

     

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